Practicing For Lifetime Awesomeness

We all know the old cliche "Practice Makes Perfect." Most of the time though, when we think of "practice" we think of a very specific skill such as practice at a sport or a musical instrument.

One of the things that I think a lot of people overlook is practice at self improvement.

There are so many elements to self improvement that I couldn't possibly go over them all. Plus, everyone has their own personal elements that they want to improve. A common trend is to read loads of information and gather all types of material, but no one ever seems to practice these sort of non-material abilities.

Confused yet? Let me give you a couple of examples.

When I was a Sophomore in college, I thought about trying to get an internship with some kind of engineering company. Unfortunately, I had very little practice in actually trying to get a job. The only job I had ever had up until this point was essentially handed to me.

I started submitting applications and visiting career fairs armed with a sub par resume and no clue of the "verbal cues" that get employers interested. Suffice to say, I was offered only one internship with Pulte Homes, and it wasn't even related to my major.

Fast Forward three years. I am a few months from graduation and, despite having average experience and qualifications related to my engineering degree, I was getting quite a few on-site interviews and job offers!

What was the trick? You guessed it...PRACTICE. I had honestly been to probably 10-12 career fairs by the end of my Senior year. I had been to resume seminars where I practiced emphasizing different aspects of myself on paper and was appropriately critiqued. I wrote a slew of cover letters and improved on each successive revision. Most importantly, I had been through seriously about 80 job or company related interviews. Eighty!

I know what you're thinking. "Common Arun! If you interview eighty times, you're bound to have at least a couple of people interested! Your good looks alone probably got at least one foot in the door!"

Wrong! (but not about my good looks :)

The first barrage interviews generated virtually nothing. But from all the interview practice, I learned exactly how to present my resume and myself in a light that made me individually appealing to each company.

At the same time I was starting to have success, I noticed a lot of my classmates struggling because did not have the same practice that I had had over the last couple of years!

Here's a better example that most people can apply to their lives if they feel this is an area in need of self improvement.

My regular readers know, I'm a big advocate of being social. The Power of Being Social seems to open so many doors.

I probably would've said the same thing about five years ago, however I was far less social back then. Sure I made a lot of friends and was very sociable in my circles, but I rarely talked to random people and was extremely shy about asking a girl out.

Deep down I knew I always wanted to be more social, so I started putting myself out there more and more. By doing so, I not only became "smoother" at social interactions, but I became much more comfortable approaching and talking to most people.

To this day, this is a skill I'm working to further improve. Having great social skills seems to be a talent that can help in virtually any avenue of life. I should probably clarify that a sociable person does not mean someone who just talks nonstop to everyone, and yammers on and on. Being sociable means that people WANT to talk to you because you have lots of interesting things to say and you make them feel good!

As an offshoot to my social improvement, I recently saw a video on youtube advertising a DVD where an instructor shares a bunch of tips and advice with the audience on how to attract and "pick up" women. One of the things he mentioned was that tons of people come up to him and tell him how good a certain conversation opener that he uses with women is, and how everything he says and actually does seems to really work!

Then the instructor asks these people how many of them have actually put his suggestions to work, and 80% of them say things like "Ahhh, well, I haven't tried it yet, but I'm going to soon!"

These guys will never be successful with women if they don't practice. Will they fall one their face a few times at first? Totally! But after awhile, they'll become comfortable, skilled, and much more successful.

I used to be incredibly shy about flirting and asking women out. In fact, when I think back to the first girl I ever dated, I am surprised she went out with me initially. Our first conversation consisted of me asking these incredibly dull questions. "So, what do you study? Where are you from? What's your family like?"

BORING!

I quickly learned, after learning women don't find this type of conversation particularly interesting, to change my approach. Also, the more people I talked to and approached, the more confident and less nervous I got.

Confidence in ANYTHING is obtained by practice!

I think everyone should identify at least one of these sort of "life skills" they want to improve and actively PRACTICE it. Honestly look at yourself from an outside prospective and think about productive ways you can practice. Then, when you're out living life, EVERYDAY, do something that can make you better.

For me, it might be introducing myself to the new hire down the hall who I'll probably never need to interact with since he's not in my department, but because it is another step to being socially great.

For someone else, it might be deciding to start living more organized and putting organizers in their notebook.

Maybe for some who eats out a lot with the excuse, "I'm a bad cook," it could be stopping by the grocery store and picking up the ingredients to practice cooking, and thus be healthier.

There should be no reason to accept a deficiency in any aspect of behavior, because we should all practice everyday to make ourselves better!

The Boomerang Effect

For those of you "Daily Remedy" regulars, you already know, that I love everything about social interactions. This interest has actually raised over the years and still continues to grow. As a kid, I used to get in trouble a lot in class for talking too much.

I can only imagine the terror I would be now!

One of the things that I've always been pretty good at is making friends. Yes, making friends. I honestly get along with practically everybody. Sure there are people I don't particularly care for, but I still get along with them, and in general, most people are always pretty nice!

Recently, I was thinking about how I interact with other people and why I manage to make great friends. I know this is no breakthrough in the history of social science whatsoever, but I don't think most people actually think about the way they interact with people.

I have discovered the secrets to always having great interactions! I call it "The Boomerang Effect!

OK,ok, its actually not much different than the cliche' "Do unto others as you'd have done to yourself." But, I've added a little "Arun Flava" to this and made it my own theory.

Essentially, it boils down to making the people around you feel great. The beauty of this is, that you will naturally feel great in response and people will naturally gravitate towards you and make you feel great too!

Big deal right? Well, after my intense analysis, I've broken down a couple of interesting natural behaviors of mine that I think help me get along with people.

1. Being a "Namer." Last week, a couple of girls that I've recently become acquainted with mentioned I am a "namer." Apparently, a namer is a person who, in conversation with someone else, uses that persons name quite a bit. I thought about this for awhile and realized that I do use peoples names a LOT in conversation.

They went on to talk about how it subtly makes the recipient feel good when someone is a namer. I thought about this statement and realized how true this is ESPECIALLY when first meeting someone. I am always skeptical of people remembering my name when I meet them, but when they do, and they use it, it actually does make me feel pretty good (despite being consciously aware of this relation most of the time). I definitely think being a namer has an unacknowledged, yet powerful effect on subtly (and unintentionally on my end) making someone feel great.

2. Optimism. Looking at everything with a "glass half full" perspective comes out when interacting with people and makes everyone feel good. People can't help but feed off of someone who radiates positive energy, and being optimistic about not only your endeavors, but other peoples as well creates a great atmosphere.

3. Immediate comfort. Some people take some time to "warm up" when meeting new people and don't really break out of their shell until they feel comfort. Well I'm obviously not one of those types of people. I generally conversate with everyone as if I already know them.

I am kind of a joker by nature, and I like to tease my friends a lot. In fact, I think teasing is great because everybody gets a good laugh but no one is really offended. At first, I think new people are kind of surprised that I would tease them when I don't even know them, but its always in good spirit, and they quickly realize that its just my joker nature. These fun interactions seem to build rapport really fast.

4. Body Language. Number one, is the magic of smiling! I could write an entire post about the power that a simple smile has! It radiates so much positive energy that people just HAVE to like you if you smile a lot!

Also, positive touching is also great (keep your minds out of the gutter!). Just things like patting someone on the back or a playful punch to the shoulder establishes a new level of comfort. Again, I was totally unaware I did this until someone pointed out to me that I do this. The scientific term for this type of touching is called "Kinaesthetics."

I was hesitant to write this post for a few reasons. One is, I am afraid as coming off as arrogant or artificial claiming that "I have discovered the secret to making friends and use these secrets all the time!" That is not the case.

After chatting with some friends over the years and recently just thinking about what makes me who I am, I realized that these are behaviors of mine that happen to help me make friends. This morning, I received an email from a friend thanking me for something subtle I said last night and didn't even think about. I called her a "world class hugger" because she honestly gives great hugs. She emailed me saying "that really means a lot to me because I love hugging!"

That actually made me feel really good that something as little as that compliment, made her feel good enough to send me an email.

Classic Boomerang Effect. I happened to make her feel good last night, and she reciprocated with gratitude. Plus, I'm sure I'll be getting a lot more great hugs!

The Art of Forgetting

This may be hard to believe (I didn't believe it at first either) but it turns out that I do have a slight weakness. I'm a tad forgetful.

As painful an admission as this is, I've been known to forget a few dates here and there, and regretfully, it happened again this weekend.

I woke up Sunday morning nice and refreshed, ready for another fun day, completely oblivious to the fact that it was Mother's Day! Now I knew the entire week that it was coming up, but on the day itself, I had completely forgotten until my Mom called me.

The bad part is, I didn't even remember until a couple of minutes into the conversation. I was wondering why she sounded a little funny on the other end of the line, then it hit me. "Happy Mother's Day Mom!" Nope, it was too late and blatantly obvious that I had forgotten.

Suffice to say, I felt really bad. My poor Mom was waiting for my call. To compound the guilt, we don't live in the same state so my Mom got none of the pampering a great Mom deserves on Mother's day.

Luckily, I was able to talk myself out of any extreme trouble. How was I able to do this? Well, first, I was really sincerely sorry about forgetting and have promised to make it up for my Mom. Second, I brought up my exemplary track record of forgetfulness when it comes to remembering occasions on the exact date.

I always know the dates of things like Birthday's or Mother's day, but on the actual date, I have a habit of forgetting. I forgot my Dad's birthday last year, and my sister's a couple before that.

I know what you're thinking. "Arun, your despicable! Your Mom has made so many sacrifices for you, and you can't even remember ONE special day! I'm shocked at your thoughtlessness!" Believe you me, I feel REALLY bad, but my Mom forgave me so you can too.

In fact, I received TWO solid tongue lashings from friends on Saturday when I mentioned I forgot. It turns out girls do not like it when guys forget special dates. Big surprise eh? My friend Renata layed into me right after I got off the phone with my Mom. Later on, I mentioned my little flub to Mariana who also gave me a solid scolding.

Luckily, balance has been restored to Arun's World, and all has returned to normal.

On a related and somewhat cute note (yes, I just used the word "cute," but I promise, I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that)), I saw a funny little interaction between a Mom and her older (mid 20's) son yesterday. I was walking down the street and this cute little Mom was holding some daiseys as she and her son were parting ways after brunch.

Mom: "Bye Sweety!"
Son: "Bye Mom."
Mom: "Careful crossing the street!"
Son: (slightly annoyed) "Ok Mom."
Mom: (now calling from about 100 feet away) "I Love You!"
Son: (slightly embarrassed and very quietly) "Ok Mom."
Mom: (apparently not hearing his response and calling louder) "I LOVE YOU SWEETY!"
Son: (really embarrassed and annoyed) "OK Mom!"
Me to the Mom: "Happy Mothers Day!"

It's funny how, no matter how old you are, Mom's are always Mom's. You can be Joe Toughguy at 30 years old, but your Mom won't hesitate to give you a tongue lashing for not cleaning your room or yelling "I love you sweety pie!" across the intersection in public.

If I so much as cough into the phone, my Mom will start pressuring me to take cold medication and go see the doctor. Then, I'll get frequent "check up" calls to make sure I'm feeling alright.

I suppose that's why we love our Mom's so much.

Routine Your Way to Awesome Living

You never thought "routine" could be used as a verb did you? Well, one of my talents happens to be misusing the English language to create new word uses that are somewhat understandable.

So what am I talking about?

Rule number 135 in "Arun's Guide to Lifetime Awesomeness," - establishing a good routine is essential for maximizing fun-time. AND, postulate number 42 states "Lifetime Awesomeness is directly proportional to quantity of fun-time," so there's mathematical sense behind this.

Well, me being one not to argue with my own science, on almost all weekdays I am very routine. I get up at the same time every morning, do the same stuff to get ready, and go to work. At work, I generally eat and workout at the same time as well.

Sounds pretty mundane, eh? In fact, so many people resist the temptation to have a routine because they feel like everyday will be the same and life will be boring! On the contrary, having a routine actually creates more time to be spontaneous and "live life awesomely" (and if you haven't guessed, that is a running theme with me).

Not convinced yet, are you? Allow me to expound. The greatest thing about having a routine is that high priority activities are built into your day and you are able to get these done extremely efficiently while still having time to do whatever you want to.

For example. Exercise is a priority for me everyday, and its built into my Monday through Friday schedule. At lunch, I play basketball or go running, and after work, I go to the gym to lift weights. Skipping is not an option. Exercise is a "built in" part of my day, just as eating lunch and going to work are. The beauty is, it's not a nuissance that I have to plan around since its already in my schedule as a requisite activity and placed at such a time, that it gets done as efficiently as possible.

Think about it. You take a shower everyday, and most people do it in the morning right after they wake up, or in the evening before bed. But what if you decided that showering was not a priority (in which case you would no longer be welcome in my immediate proximity) and decided you'd just do it if you "have time" or "get a chance." Well, first of all, it would be a pain to have to go out of your way in the middle of the day or whenever, to go take a shower, and second, it would hardly ever get done!

Part of the reason so many people don't regularly exercise is because they don't incorporate it into their routine! When I exercise after work, I go straight to the gym to save time, and avoid any dilly dallying that would happen if I stopped home first.

When I do get home, I now have the whole evening free to do whatever I want without having to plan around anything!

I also need to make time to write this blog. Many times, this is right before bed (and a little during a break at work). Again, I put this activity into my schedule so that I don't waste any of my precious free time planning around this.

I know a few people who don't really have any sort of routine. What's the most common complaint? "I don't have any time for _______(insert fun or healthy activity here)!"

I generally won't say anything, but inside I'm thinking, "Well that's a big fat piece of juicy BOLOGNEY!"

Most of us have the time to do these things, but it takes an establishment of some sort of routine to manage your precious time as efficiently as possible, and thus have more time and energy to do the things you love!

Establishing a routine is like adding hours to the day!

I know what you're thinking. "Arun, you're pretty smart." (I know, continue your complementary thinking) "But how do you expect anyone to follow a routine every day! I like change! In fact, how do YOU even follow a routine everyday! Doesn't it get boring?"

First of all, my evenings tend to vary and be totally UN-routine (yes I invented another new word). Because I was so efficient in getting everything I prioritize finished, I have all types of free time in the evenings to do whatever I want!

And, when the weekend comes, I don't know the meaning of routine! I never plan workouts on the weekends because I have no idea what I'm going to be doing, and I hate having to plan around things (especially something like working out which isn't exactly the most fun thing to do) later in the day. Seriously, there is no structure whatsoever to my day on Saturday and Sunday.

So if you're one of the many people who feel like there's not enough time for anything, realistically look at your routine (or lack thereof), analyze, and fix it so that you can maximize your fun-time and live life awesomely!

Six Great Places to Shop Online

I'm not a huge online shopper, but I do VERY heavy research whenver I buy anything online. Occasionally, I'll buy through a cheap, unknown dealer if I'm purchasing something I'm fairly certain I won't need to return, or have to deal with the company about in the future. Overall though, I've found a few companies that stand out in terms of product quality, cost, customer service, and return policy.

1. Tennis Warehouse (and related Sporting Goods Companies). Having worked here for two years, I am EXTREMELY familiar with the policies, prices and customer service. I can honestly, and unbiasedly say that Tennis Warehouse is the most secure, cheapest, and customer service friendly company I know of. TW's training program is complete such that every customer service rep becomes a tennis expert (or has immediate access to an expert) when you call. You can literally ask any tennis or tennis product related question, and they will answer it for you.

The prices are also unmatched. TW guarantees to match the lowest price you can find (if they're not already the lowest). NEVER buy tennis related items from retailers like Sports Authority, Sports Chalet etc. Having seen the cost of items, as well as TW's prices, the markups at these places are OUTRAGIOUS!!! You can expect the same quality of service from TW's subsidiaries Skate Warehouse, Inline Warehouse, Tackle Warehouse, Running Warehouse, and soon to come spinoff (though a technically unrelated company) Golf Land Warehouse.

2. Eastbay. I've bought many a pair of athletic shoes from here. They seem to always have the best prices for athletic apparel and constantly have bargain sale items. Everything I've ordered has come quick and in immaculate condition. Customer service here is also great.

3. Costco. . Everyone knows that Costco has the most ludacris return policy ever in they take EVERYTHING back! The great thing is, Costco generally carries upper tier items (though usually not "cream of the crop") at fabulous prices. Buying from Costco is essentially "no risk" because you know if you don't like it for ANY reason, they'll take it back for a full refund! Most people are unaware that Costco does a lot of sales online.

4. Nordstrom. For higher end clothing, Nordstrom offers exceptional customer service. Sure the prices are not the best, but the return policy is great, and I've found the customer service to be incredibly helpful. Nordstrom's policy is to accept returned items that could have been bought there without question. They've even been known to hand deliver special order items to peoples homes, and send 'Thank You' cards to some shoppers.

5. Eddie Bauer. The best thing about Eddie Bauer is the 'lifetime warranty' on their items. I bought a backpack here, and after a couple of years, it started breaking down, so I brought it back, and they let me exchange it for a new one of the same (or lesser) price! The beauty of it is, I can do the same with this backpack!

6. REI. Same deal as Eddie Bauer, everything has a lifetime warranty, so if buy say a $1000 bike, and it craps out on you in a year, take it back and they'll give you a new one! Lifetime warranties are awesome for items you frequently use!

So there you have it. A little list of six places that you can feel safe ordering from, that won't screw you over. Happy Shopping!

Have Your Cake and Eat it Too

It's interesting how so many people accept common cliche's to ring true in their life without ever challenging them. You always hear the old phrase, "You can't have your cake and eat it too!" So many people seem to think that in order to reap the benefits of one thing, you have to sacrifice something else. But why not just have the best of both worlds?

One of my main goals in life in general IS to too Have my cake AND eat it too! I don't believe that you always have to make a sacrifice and choose the greater of two goods. Call me greedy, but I want both!

In some areas, I feel like I've accomplished this, but in many others I'm constantly working towards getting the best of both.

Most people feel like you can't eat junk food and lose weight. Well I eat junk (about 1 day per week) and have managed to stay pretty fit despite not having one of those "I can eat whatever the hell I want and still be thin" types of bodies that we all hate.

To counteract the beer and pizza, I do a lot of exercise. But, most people hate exercise right? Well, I mostly do exercises that I enjoy, namely playing a lot of sports. It doesn't even feel like "hard work" when I'm playing basketball or tennis, even though I'm getting a great workout. Not only am I having fun while I'm playing sports, but I'm counteracting all the "fun" I'm having going out and partying!

Here's a couple of examples of things I'm working on. A lot of people feel like they need to make the sacrifice of going to work, a part of life most people would love to avoid, in order to make money. I actually have a pretty cool job where I really don't mind going in, but believe you me, most days I'd rather just stay home.

A couple of weeks ago, I worked from home for a day, and it was amazing! I went to my coffee shop by the beach with my laptop and was so productive that I didn't even work a full day. Plus, I was able to hang out with some friends in the afternoon, enjoy the beach sun and not really have to plan around a full work day. I decided I want this to be my typical work day.

Now I can't get away with working from home all the time at my current job, which is why I am constantly scheming up other sources of income. Currently I about to start work on a new website which, if successful, should pull in much more income than this site. Don't worry though! Your Daily Remedy will still continue to go strong! The site is a totally different concept than this one.

Am I going to be able to sustain on just the web income from the new site? Almost certainly not (especially since I want to be incredibly wealthy) but its a start, and definitely a step in the right direction of building the "Arun Empire" as well as being able to work from home on my own time.

On a completely different note, I was talking with my Roommate's girlfriend the other day about my dating life. She pointed out that a few months ago, I was dating quite a few girls but that recently, I've kinda tailed off. Well this is very true, and as I thought about it, I realized that I'm just really ultra selective.

When I first moved to San Diego, whenever I'd meet girls I got along with, I'd end up dating them. The problem is, I realized I was wasting my time (and money)going out with so many girls because most of the time, I knew right away that nothing special would ever really materialize. Either they were really attractive but had personality issues I couldn't handle, or they were pretty cool, but I was not attracted to them.

Now when I go out, I actually talk to even more people but a lot of the phone numbers I get, I don't even bother calling because I don't feel any special "spark" in the first meeting. Am I being to selective? Maybe. But I do enjoy being single and I want the super attractive girl WITH an incredible personality, great energy, and a positive outlook. Is that too much to ask for?

On related note, one of the things I do now, is exchange phone numbers with people (yes, usually girls) who I meet just to sort of "social network." I like having a lot of friends and I've found that the more friends you have, the more adventures there are to BE had. The only problem is, its hard exchanging numbers with girls without them thinking that you have some sexual interest in them. Last week I met some girls that were totally awesome. I wasn't attracted to any of them, but I thought it'd be cool to hang out with them on like Sunday Funday or something.

I've found one of two things can happen though. Either they think I'm interested in something so they don't return my calls, or they ARE actually interested in me which means I have to cut them off because I'm not really interested in anything more than just hangin out. I'm still working on a solution to this, but I'd love to hear any suggestions of avoiding this akwardness.

Back to the topic at hand, I think the a huge part of life, is about "Having your cake and eating it too." I am constantly trying to have the best of both without sacrificing the other and I see no reason why it can't be had. Sure many of these "give or take" situations are difficult to find a solution for, and may take some time, I feel pretty productive and fullfilled spending a lot of my time going for that.

I would encourage all of you to not be content making sacrifices you don't have to make and actively seek a solution to have it all! No, I don't have it all yet, but I do have a nice piece of Brazillian Pugime Cake in the fridge at home with my name on it, that I intend to eat with delight!

Three Foods That Get a Bad Rap

As someone who's been on both sides of healthiness, I take great interest as to what I'm putting into my body. No, that definitely doesn't mean that I only put good things into my body, but at least I know how they affect me. I've done a lot of research over the years, and have made my own conclusions based on factual information as to what I exactly I should be consuming, and how much. Tare a few foods oft scrutinized by the public, which are actually OK to consume on a regular basis. With that, I bring you a little list of four misconstrued foods which are ok to eat!

1. Coffee. Most people have a negative view of coffee when it comes to your health. Yes, in certain religions coffee is even banned from consumption! This is all because of that little drug called caffeine. Yes, caffeine can be hazardous to your health if too much in regularly consumed, but this is true of any drug! But, in moderation, coffee has excellent health benefits. First of all, if you have some before working out, you'll actually burn more calories! Since caffeine is a stimulant, your metabolism actually goes up! Also, studies have shown that coffee contain antioxidants that help prevent type-II diabetes and cirosis of the liver (important information for you boozers out there). AND, coffee has NO calories, so you won't get fat either! Obviously too much is no good, but a few cups a week is actually BENEFICIAL!

2. Chocolate. Oh how I LOVE chocolate! Turns out, chocolate actually contains many things that are GOOD for you! First of all chocolate contains a compound called phenyl ethylamine which helps raise your mood (no wonder I'm so damn happy chowing down on cocoa). It also increases levels of seratonin in the brain which is comfort elevating chemical. Believe it or not, chocolate also contains antibacterial agents which prevent tooth decay!!! (Ok ok, so if you eat milk chocolate you totally counteract this, but I'm on a roll!) Oh but I'm not finished. Some chocolates also contain oleic acid which helps raise your HDL (Good) cholesterol).

Ok now before you go out and start binging on chocolate, these are properties of cacao (main chocolate ingredient) so you wanna buy as pure a chocalate as you can find. Don't go stuffing a Snickers bar down your pipe because it has chocolate and nuts.

And speaking of chocolate, there's a place in Anchorage, Alaska called "Alaska Wildberry Products" that claims to have the "largest chocolate fountain in the world." I've seen it, and its pretty damn big. In fact I wanted to stage an "accident" when I was there and "accidentally" plunge into the fountain of my dreams, but my sister wouldn't let me.

3. Splenda (and some other artificial sweetners). I hear the same old argument all the time. "That stuff causes cancer!!!" Yea, well, a lot of things cause cancer if you consume enough of them. Hell, nearly EVERYTHING is a carcinogen at a some level. You find me one person who has developed cancer from consuming too much splenda and I'll find you a flying pig. In fact, the FDA has even confirmed that there is no evidence that splenda (or any other artificial sweetners on the market for that matter) are a cancer risk.

The whole misnomer stems from a 1970's experiment in which sacharine (the sweetener in Sweet n' Low) caused cancer in lab rats. They were however exposed to an obscene amount of sacharine! It's literally IMPOSSIBLE to continuously consume this amount of sacharine on a daily basis. Yes, it is not "natural" and some people have objections to that, but scientifically, there are no difinitively proven negative effects to its consumption.

I am a huge fan of splenda. I have a major sweet tooth, so I use it whenever I can. I drink only diet soda since I HATE drinking my calories. I love Crystal Light. I use it as a sugar substitute in coffee, or when I make smoothies. If I die of cancer, it won't be because of sweeteners, and at least I won't be fat!

Yes friends, I know todays entry was not full of my usual wit and charm, but I had to make a point! I'll leave with this little anecdote though from this last weekend which sort of relates to this post.

So I'm at a Bar called Moondoggies this weekend with my friends Bruno and Frederico. We meet a couple of chics, and in the process of conversating, one of them tells me to feel how hot her arm is. Apparently she got sunburned and said her skin was "hot." Hmmm...to my knowledge, heat has nothing to do with sunburns, and I don't think the skin surface temperature actually raises too much, but whatever...I let it go.

I told her she shouldn't spent so much time out there and a debate ensued which went something like this:

Her: "That's not true! The Sun's natural! It's good for you!"
Me: "Sure in small doses, but too much sun is obviously bad for you."
Her: "No! Anything natural is good for you. I believe in nature's power."
Me: "So you don't think that your skin peeling and skin hurting is a sign of too much sun?"
Her: "People are very ignorant to the powers of nature. I don't believe anything natural can be bad for you"

At this point I began to get frustrated with not only the fact that I was wasting my time talking to this person, but that she certainly thought I was of inferior intelligence not to know that the sun has no negative effects. But, no one beats me in an argument...especially one this ridiculous!

Me: "Well did you heard about the deaths of the frat pledge who died of water overdose or the lady who was trying to win a radio contest?"
Her: "Oh yea!"
Me: "Tell me, Is Water natural?"
Her: "Uhhh....yea"
Me: "What about River or Lake water? Why don't you go drink that and let me know how you feel?"
Her: "Yea, I guess they do have bacteria."
Me: "Isn't that natural???"

Game, Set, Match Arun.

This same girl chastised me earlier for my love of Splenda.

The Power of Being Social

It’s funny how wisdom kind of sneaks up on you. One minute you’re 17, heading off to college, moving away from home for the first time, only concerned about how hot the girls are gonna be on your campus (and possibly the prospect of getting a degree). The next you’re 23 and planning the rest of your life in general.

In these six years, one of the most important things I’ve learned through experience is the power of being your most social self. I say “most social self” because I know not everyone by nature is social. In fact for some, the attempt at being social is almost crippling.

I am naturally a social butterfly (my friend Dave nicknamed me “The Monarch” because of this trait), but this quality has increased over the years, both naturally, and through concerted effort of my own to be more social. Why do I make this effort? I have learned that there are FAR more benefits to being outgoing and social than mild mannered and reserved.

So what are some of these benefits? Well, lets take my office job for example. Most people at work get through the day interacting only with people they need to for work and exchanging casualties with work “friends.” It’s fairly common that two people who don’t know each other will cross paths without so much as looking at eachother.

I do the complete opposite.

At the VERY LEAST, I smile at every single person I see. Most of the time I’ll say “Hey!” When I’m getting coffee and I run into someone, I always make conversation, and if I don’t know them, I’ll introduce myself. As a result, almost everyone on my floor at work knows me! Its great walking through the halls because everyone says hi to me and I joke around and conversate with people throughout the day, almost none of whom I directly work with! These daily interactions make work much more enjoyable.

In fact, I don’t limit this to only work. I do it almost everywhere. A lot of times you’ll see something happen while you’re out and about but you won’t say anything. Confused? Let me give an example. The other day I was at the grocery store in the produce section and a lady was checking out the apples. She went to pick one up to inspect and somehow it slipped out of hands and fell to the ground. In the process of trying to catch it, she knocked another one off as well.

Normally most people won’t say anything to save her from embarrassment. The old me wouldn’t have said anything either. So what did I do?

Me: “BUTTERFINGERS!”
Lady: “Heeheehee! That apple got away from me”
Me: “Maybe you should let me pick for you. I don’t know if the store can afford your business!”
Lady: “Hehehe! Common now I’m not that bad.”
Me: “In fact I think they have a three strikes policy. Two more slips and you’re banned! And don’t even think about going NEAR the watermelons!

After some more banter, we went our separate ways, but this funny interaction made a mundane activity like going to the store, much more entertaining for both of us! This is just one example of interactions I have like this EVERYDAY. I think this is one of the reasons I’m always in a good mood. Having these fun, positive interactions, even with complete strangers, puts not only me in a good mood, but it leaves the other person feeling great as well.

In fact, getting to know people whom you may see more than once has far more benefits than just feeling good. In college, there were a couple of bars I used to frequent, and after chatting with the bartenders and bouncers a few times, they began just letting me in without checking id’s, and I’d get discounts on drinks! At the coffee shop I go to frequently (and where I am right now), my drinks always come right away even if they are busy because I now know all of the baristas.

At work, when other departments are having little party’s for birthdays or whatnot, I get invited to indulge despite not even being in the department! Yes, being social has many of these “selfish” benefits.

The fact is, being social even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone to be so, has so many tangible and intangible benefits. The problem is, the people who have the most trouble being social are those who are by nature, antisocial.

Well there are some ways to help overcome this and become “your most social self.”

1. Ask people you naturally encounter how they are. These are people like the grocery store clerk and bagger, the receptionist etc. Simply by going beyond the normal pleasantry of “Hi” leaves open for some more conversation to be had. Even though “how are you” is pretty generic and is generally not considered a legitimate question, it’s a start. Even better though is “How is your day going?” This actually gets a real response more than just “fine” most of the time.

2. Try to make eye contact and smile at everyone you pass. You know those situations when you’re walking by someone and to avoid awkwardness you glance then look away. Just as you look away they smile and say “HI!” and as you’re passing you try to recover and say “Hello” all the while feeling a little guilty for being a cold bastard. Well don’t be that guy!!! Even just a smile makes you come off as extremely friendly and approachable.

3. Treat everyone you meet like old friends. Even if you just met someone, joking around and speaking candidly automatically raises the comfort level and makes the other person(s) feel a social connection.

4. Don’t hold in your thoughts. When you see something that you could comment on, just say it! Don’t wait and let yourself get anxious or nervous. Let it out right away. If someone does something embarrassing, tease them a little about it! Everyone loves light hearted humor. This goes hand in hand with treating people like old friends. My grocery store interaction is one example. Here’s another: I was at my favorite coffee shop and the barista was really cute. When it came time to order, I asked how her day was to get conversation going. At one point she asked me what I was reading, and I turned over my book to show her the cover. It was one of those “_____for dummies” books. I then looked up, smiled and lightheartedly said, “This series seems right up your alley!” while pointing at the word “dummies”. She laughed and playfully hit my shoulder. I was in. She ended up sitting and eating dinner with me.

5. “Its’ not what you know but who you know.” This is so true. The best way to advance in essentially any realm is by having great relationships with the people around you. When I worked at Tennis Warehouse, I advanced primarily because I had great relationships with our employees, managers, and customers.

6. Try to have at least one positive interaction everyday. This could be anything from and extended chat with a coworker to calling a friend and talking for more than just a couple of minutes. For me, having a great interaction or conversation in which both people smile leaves me feeling great for long time afterwards!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened my mouth and said something when I normally wouldn’t or was otherwise uncomfortable. Honestly, 99% of the time, I leave the interaction, however long or short it may have been, feeling better off!

Hell, just yesterday at work, I saw a guy in the café’ eating by himself that I recognized from college, but I never knew him. I knew of him, of which I new he was a recluse, a bit of a nerd and seemed a bit odd. I wasn’t going to say anything to him because he didn’t see me. Then I thought about it and said to myself, “Arun, sack up and go talk to him!” I went and introduced myself and asked how he was enjoying the company. We chatted for a couple of minutes before I left. The great thing was, I could tell he was genuinely excited to be chatting with someone rather than eating alone the whole time.

I left feeling great, not because he did anything specifically for me, but because I think I made his day just a little bit better. Social Arun enjoys life so much more than less social Arun.

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UPDATE! My ebook about becoming your most charming, social self is now available HERE. This is a complete accumulation of everything I know about social dynamics and making your life happier and more interesting. Check out The Social Charmer!"

How to Become Moderately Strong

If you've read my story about losing weight and getting healthy you know that I enjoy working out. A big part of my workout routine is weight lifting. Initially I used strength training as a tool in losing weight, however I did go through phases where I used it to GAIN strength and muscle.

Ok Ok, I know. I'm not exactly Arunold Swartzenegger, but I would say that I'm stronger than the average bear.

I've been lifting for about seven years, and over that time have learned quite a bit about strength training, both through literature and through working out and speaking with a lot of experts. In college, I used to workout at a gym whose members were exclusively Power lifters and Bodybuilders...and me.

Previously, I considered myself pretty knowledgeable, but learned even more about muscle building while working out here. I used to feel pretty strong working out at Cal Poly, but these guys were freaking animals!

I pretty much went through two phases in my life where I put on a lot of muscle. The first was when I first started lifting. Despite not knowing anything about weight lifting and having pretty bad form, I gained muscle. This initial gain happens to anyone who has previously never done any sort of consistent weight training before.

The second was when I started working out at this little whole-in-the-wall gym, Estrada's, during my fourth year of college. I learned some new techniques, changed my diet, and bodda-bing! Regular Arun became Super Arun! So lets learn about how to get strong, shall we?

Diet
Probably the most important aspect in making gains, and continuing the make gains is your diet. To put it simply, to make big gains YOU HAVE TO EAT! As I mentioned before, no matter what you do or how you eat, initially you will gain strength as a result of your body being shocked from this new stimulus. However to maintain those gains and continue getting stronger, you have to eat, eat, eat!

This doesn't mean eat whatever the hell you want just to get calories. I knew a couple of guys who were so gung-ho about gaining muscle, they started working out, and eating everything under the sun! I'm talking cake with dinner, two scoops of ice-cream in their protein shakes, icing on their pot-brownies, everything! Well they did make big muscle gains, but they also started getting chubby. You can also imagine the high levels of sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, and fats that must have been flowing in their blood!

Personally, I'm not super muscle bound is because I eat moderate amounts of food and like the way I feel better than I do when I'm heavier. Nimble and fleet-footed (and sexy) Arun is better at things like Tennis, Golf and Basketball than Big Strong (and sexy) Arun.

The key is eating lean complex carbohydrates and lean protein. Spread your meals out throughout the day so your body never starves (otherwise it may start tapping into your hard earned muscle for fuel). About 1 gram of protein per pound you weigh is sufficient. People get carried away with protein intake! Anymore than that will just be turned into fat or burned off! Your muscles need both protein and carbs to get stronger. Remember, you are what you eat! Aim for gaining a pound every 1-2 weeks.

Also, eating a small snack with both protein and carbs before working out will help fuel your muscles. It is also essential to get a meal (even if its just a protein shake) within forty minutes of finishing your workout! This time frame is known as your "anabolic period." Basically, your glycogen and glucose levels are depleted. If you don't replenish soon, your body secretes cortisol which breaks down muscle to produce glucose. Suffice to say, this is BAD!

The Workout
I'm not going to get into different routines and exercises (because that in itself would be an entire book), but there is some basic knowledge that you should know.

Never train the same muscle group more than twice a week (I do each once per week). Over training is a common problem that will only hinder your progress. Guess when your muscle grows the most? Believe it or not, it's when you're sleeping. This is when testosterone levels are the highest, and thus the time when the most muscle repair is going on! And speaking of over training, each workout should be no more than one hour.

In terms of order of exercises, large, compound movements should be done first, with smaller isolation exercises at the end. Think of it as building a house. You wouldn't install the kitchen appliances before building the house frame would you? You need to build the house before painting it. Similarly, compound exercises that use larger muscles and more muscles (ie Squats, Deadlifts, Bench Press) should be done first before isolation exercises which tend target smaller muscles.

The most effective repetition range for building strength is anywhere from 4-10 reps. You should change up your rep range each week to keep your body off balance. The minute your body gets used to the stimuli, you will stop getting stronger which is why you need to consistantly change it up! Between six to nine sets per muscle group is sufficient per week.

Lastly, use proper form! I can't tell you how many Toolbags I see in the gym throwing obscene amounts of weight around that they have no business touching! Always use a slow, controlled pace and make sure that the target muscle is being worked! Using bad form is begging for an injury. (Wow, thinking about this has gotten me fired up! I think there may be a gym etiquette rant coming soon!!!)

Supplementation
A lot of people harp on what supplement is best and which to use. If you open any of a number of "muscle magazines" you'll be bombarded by supplement advertisements. Personally, I'm not a big fan of supplements. The only thing I use is Whey Protein Powder for a shake immediately after working out. Whey protein is quickly absorbed into the blood which is why its great for a post workout snack.

I've tried creatine before and thought it only moderately helpful and not worth the money. Also, I don't particularly like supplementing with products the body naturally produces, because the body will then, thinking the product is in excess, decrease its own production of the product (like creatine). Save your money!

Well that's the very basics of putting on muscle. There's a lot more out there to learn, but I couldn't possibly cover it all in only one post! If there's a lot of interest, maybe I'll write a follow up with more specifics.

If you need some inspiration, let me know and I'll send you a picture of myself flexing for you :)

How to Complain to Get What You Want

Three years ago, I decided to stay in San Luis Obispo for my first summer during college and become a California resident. Since I wasn't taking any classes, it seemed logical to get a job. I had formerly been a tennis instructor so working at the "Tennis Warehouse" seemed like a good job for me since I already knew a thing or two about tennis.

Before visiting the facility, I thought I would just be a racquet stringer, doing my thing in a little pro shop. I was planning on staying there for just the summer.

Ding Dong! You're Wrong!

The job was far more than just stringing racquets. The majority of my job was full on customer service, and I would string racquets in between calls. My job was to be a tennis and tennis product guru and to be able to help customers with anything!

The job worked out well for me and I became a supervisor in a little under a year. I'm very much a "people person," so I excelled at customer service. As a supervisor, one of the duties I was entirely responsible for was "new hire training." What was the biggest part of this training? Learning our system was some of it, but the majority was learning to provide EXEMPLARY customer service.

Working in customer service for two years really taught me a lot about business-consumer relationships. As a supervisor, I had to speak with anybody who had a complicated issue or complaint. I dealt with a whole hodge-podge of different people, and through these interactions, learned exactly what works, and what doesn't when complaining.

Since leaving that job, I've used what I've learned a few times with tremendous success! Ok, enough build up. Here it is:

1. Do not get angry! It's ok to be frustrated, and certainly I would encourage you to let the customer service representative (CSR) how you feel. When you get angry though, the CSR will immediately feel unjustly antagonized and naturally be less willing to optimally help you. The nicest, calmest ones are generally the people who CSR's feel sympathetic towards and will "go to bat" for you when requesting your compensation from a manager. I can't tell you how many times someone has called in yelling at a CSR (who is almost NEVER responsible for that customer's problem). Showing anger will only hurt your cause.

2. Expect a reasonable compensation. Have an idea of what is reasonable before you call. A reasonable expectation is more likely to be fulfilled by the business. If you call in demanding totally ridiculous compensation, you will likely get less than you would have had you requested appropriate compensation.

3. Demonstrate loyalty. If you have dealt with the business before, mention that you are a loyal customer. Repeat customers provide a huge percentage of business revenue both through their own purchases, and through their recommendations. This is the customer that a business HATES to lose and consequently they will try VERY hard to accommodate you. Also mention how pleasant your previous transactions have been, and that you'd hate your relationship to be soured from one incident! This is Gold!

4. Don't make threats. Most larger businesses are immune to: "I'm reporting you to the Better Business Bureau!" or "You'll here from my lawyer!" etc. This is silly and will probably do nothing but cause you extra heartache. Again, this will cause you to get on the bad side of whomever you are speaking with which is not in your best interest.

5. Say how you feel. Words like "frustrated" and "disappointed" are gold especially when said in a non-threatening or angry way. They elicit sympathy and compassion.

6. Make good assumptions. Mention things like "I know you strive to establish great business-consumer relationships but..." or "I understand you have a reputation for putting the customer first but I feel disappointed that..."

I'm smiling as I'm writing this because this is some great (and somewhat manipulative) stuff! Man I'm good...

Making positive assumptions about a business is a subtle way of twisting their arm into helping you! Once these things are said, they feel like they need to conform to the standards you have so nicely imposed on them! The social science term for this is "framing" where you use subtle language to make the other person conform to a certain behavior.

7. Be confident! Do not accept substandard compensation if you really do deserve more! Stand by your request and don't be a pushover!

If you adhere to these tips when making a complaint, any company worth their salt will cater to your requests! The bigger the business, the better these suggestions work! Why is this? Because usually a business cannot grow huge without providing exemplary customer service.

Happy complaining everyone!

UPDATE: I just released an ebook package entitled The Social Charmer It's a two book package, the second of which is a detailed guide to getting optimum customer service! If this article was useful to you, definitely check out The Social Charmer package as it is much more thorough than this post!

Charm your way to Success

The dreaded interview: Your palms are sweaty, your throat is dry, heart is racing, and you begin stuttering at the first question that makes you think.

Stick a fork in you.

The interview is where the selector gets to see what you're really made of. How do you react to a difficult question? Are you likeable? Do you deserve the prize you are interviewing for (be it a job, scholarship, admission to a University etc.)?

In an interview, you are vying for a spot that tens, possibly hundreds of people are are also going for. Any sign of awkwardness or discomfort will many times stick out in the interviewer's mind and consequently, they will conscioulsy or unconsciously disqualify you.

I am convinced that having good communication and creating positive interactions is the key to personal and professional success. Why? Creating a social and personal connection not only paints you in a positive light for the interviewer, but also makes him/her look past any shortcomings in your qualifications. Ladies and gents, it's true..."It's not the size of the wave, but motion of the ocean that counts."

By nature, I tend to interview well. I'm definitely not shy and love talking to anybody and everybody. In grade school, I used to routinely get in trouble for chatting with people around me. My teacher would then move me (thinking he was separating me from my friends) and I'd start all over again with whomever was around me.

But just because I'm social, what makes me think that I am qualified to help others perform better in interviews? Allow me to share my personal experience.

The first interview I ever did was for a college scholarship in high school. I knew nothing about interview techniques and just went in trying to be as enthusiastic and passionate as possible. Out of thousands of applicants, I was chosen to receive the lucrative prize. After the interview, the interviewer asked me, "How many of these have you done?" My response? "Actually this is my first one." Then jokingly added, "I believe in quality not quantity!" She laughed, and as I left, I knew I had a good shot because, beyond whatever I submitted on paper that qualified me for the scholarship, she genuinely liked me.

My second job ever was the first job interview I ever had. It was for a customer service/racquet technician position at the Tennis Warehouse. Unlike my other interviews, both previous and future, I was superiorly qualified for the position so I only had to have a mariginal interview to get the job. What did help was establishing a savy relationship with the managers as well as other employees. As a result I was promoted to a supervisory role of over 60 people, many of whom had worked at TW longer than I had.

Finally, as my undergraduate career was coming to an end last year, I was honestly VERY concerned that I would graduate jobless! I was submitting my resume everywhere and attending career fairs and getting only a few bites.

The reason? My resume was (the first hurdle in getting a job) was not particularly helpful for my engineering degree. I had a slightly above average GPA, and NO engineering internships or experience.

So how did I land a job?

My biggest weapon was the career fairs. I made sure to learn something about every company I was interested so that when I spoke to the rep, it would appear that I was passionate about working for their SPECIFIC company! Little did they know that I was "passionate" about working for whoever would hire me!

I attended every career fair during my last year, and by the last one, many of the reps knew me and I had a shoe in for an interview. Now it was time to turn the charm up a notch. Once I had gotten the interview, I was supremely confident that I could get the job.

In the end, I had six serious, on-site interviews, four of which made some sort of job offer. Of the two that didn't make an offer, one decided to hire an experienced professional instead of a new grad, one had company restructering and thus the position was longer existing. In essence the jobs that I didn't get was not because of the interview.

I know what you're thinking. "So what in the heck does all this mean Arun?!? It sounds to me like you're just bragging about your interview skills!" Not in the least (Ok well maybe just a little :)

For all of the positions that I interviewed for, I would bet that MOST of the people interviewed were MORE qualified for the position on paper. I won the prize because I established a connection with the interviewer that made him/her want to hire me for me and my personality over hardcore knowledge.

The tips that I am going to share work in a myriad of social interactions, from job interviews to sellers and buyers to even women! These are general tips that are effective in nearly ALL SOCIAL SITUATIONS!!! So here we go.

1. Confidence. By FAR the most important quality! You will get no where without being and projecting confidence. Speaking clearly, slowly, and as if you believe what you are saying is key. Look the person in the eye when you are talking. If you are asked something you don't know, think briefly, and answer as best you can. If you don't know, then be confident enough to admit it!

2. Enthusiasm. People LOVE enthusiastic people. Enthusiasm is infectious in any social interaction and after leaving, peole will think "For some reason, and I can't pin point it, I really like that guy." Showing enthusiasm really makes you likeable.

3. Passion. Again, showing a passion for something demonstrates that you have motivation and ambition. Showing a passion for something lets the other person know that you have the potential to love whatever they are bringing to the table.

4. Humour. Being funny is ALWAYS good! Girls, guys, everyone loves someone who is humourous. When I'm chatting with someone (an interviewer, a girl etc) and can get them to laugh, I know we've established a connection. This is the quickest way to hook someone. What if you're not funny? Well even a quirky attempt at a bad joke (as long as its in good taste) is endearing. Just don't overdo it if they're not laughing!

5. Mirroring. This is the act of mirroring the energy of who you are talking. When I interviewed with my current manager, I came in with all this energy only to be dampered by his extremely subdued demeanor. So what did do? I mirrored his energy but I kept myself always one notch above him. I calmed down to the point where he was comfortable, but made sure he knew that I had energy. In doing so, the environment was comfortable and we able to establish a rapport.

6. Body Language. Smile! Smiling is a great way to project positive vibes in a room. Again, smiling makes you very likeable. Also, mirroring body language helps in making the other person comfortable. Don't be too shifty as that shows discomfort and nervousness. All movements should be purposeful! No thumb twiddling or tapping!

Also, in a nonprofessional setting, kinaesthetics (the science of touching) establishes a connection. A light (nonsexual!) touch on the shoulder or back when interacting immediately establishes a connection.

So that's the basics! Enhancing your abilites in a social environment can work wonders! Remember the saying, "It's not what you know, but WHO you know!" Well successful communication with the right people will get you far.

And as I said before, "It's not the size of the wave, but the motion of ocean" is so true in so many avenues....though to be honest with you, my "wave" is quite large :)

The Best is Yet to Come

Pretty lofty statement eh? I know in a previous post I addressed my New Years Goals but those were all somewhat long term. I've got some things I'm working on that should materialize in the next few months.

I debated posting this blog because I knew there would be additional pressure to come through. So why did I post? Because there would be additional pressure to come through! Nothing like putting a little pressure on myself to make sure I actually get my projects done. So without further adu, here's whats on the horizon!

1. Operation Happy Hour - One of the things I want to do is expand my current social circle. I've only lived in San Diego for about six months, and I've done decent, but not great. Things are going to change! I've got a couple of tricks up my sleeve, but part of the plan is setting up a possible once or twice a month gathering a my house for Friday Happy hour before going out. More on this soon...

2. The Ultimate Fitness Plan - Ever since I wrote my article From Chubby to Studdly I've had quite a few people say that they felt inspired and/or motivated to get in shape. This got me super excited! So what's my plan? I'm going to become an athletic machine! That's right. I'm going on a 3 month super health plan to transform from moderately fit to superhuman!

I'm definitely going to have to cut out a few guilty pleasures and curb my drinking, but I figure if people are going to follow my plan, I should up it a notch for myself. I'll keep you updated on the progress.

3. Operation Money Maker - This is already solidly in progress. How? Well for starters I have committed to putting away 20 % of my income. This is going to be invested in the stock market within 3 months. Additionally, within six months I'm going to have a solid plan for my first real estate investment. And speaking of income, this blog contributes minimally to that, however I am going to double my current rate of blog income within three months. My primary plan here is to increase my traffic to 1000 unique visitors in a week. Last week I smashed my own record and had 461 unique visitors! This was just a spike because I published a couple of my articles, but it's a start!

4. Return of the Music Man - That's right. I've got a couple of songs that I'm working on and I am going to record them within the next 4 months. I'll put a link up once they're finished.

So there you have it. I've committed to these tasks within the next few months. I've got some other schemes brewing but I'm saving those for the summertime. Basically these are all baby steps on the path to becoming rich and famous!!!

Setting New Standards and Precedents

This morning at work was eventful as I yet again moved into a new office! Unfortunately this may be only for a few months as I may be moving into the new building currently under construction. Here I am content, though slightly disappointed that I don't have a window. I was pondering this yesterday and it got me thinking about my standards.

When I first started here, I had a ground floor office with a window which I was in for a couple of months. This immediately set a precedent where now, every office I get, I am comparing to the first one I had which had a nice window. This is slightly problematic because in reality, I should be thankful that I even have any office because most people at my age, 23, are in cubicles. Similarly, its interesting how often our standards change with everything.

For example. My first year in college, the bus, my feet, and bumming rides were my main transportation. Second year, it was my bicycle. Third and fourth year, it was my moped. Everytime I would go back to Alaska to visit my folks though, I was so happy to be able to drive around my little '88 Chevy Nova. These days though, I drive around a new Toyota so when I go back to Alaska, I almost dread having to drive the Nova around and worry about it possibly breaking down.

I could go on and on about how many other things this restandardization applies to (housing, clothing, girlfriends/boyfriends etc.) In fact, my roommate just got back from a hard earned Hawaiian vacation in which he took his girlfriend. My only warning to him was to be careful about the precedent you're setting by taking the new gf on such a nice trip on a whim because she might then expect something even better for an actual special ocassion because her standards of your treats are now raised.

Its no wonder some rich people come off as snobby. Their standards have slowly raised so high that anything less than designer doesn't suffice! If you sit in your house and watch a plasma everyday, a standard CRT television seems like garbage. The minute anything in your life is upgraded (or downgraded for that matter) a precedent is set and our standards change.

So what's the moral? Well for me, its to definitely appreciate the nice things I'm fortunate to have and resist the temptations to compare what I have now, to what I had before. In the end, material standards are pretty shallow. Window or no window, I love my office!

Money DOES Matter

I've been reading a lot of personal finance books recently since, now that I have a decent paying job, I figure some knowledge will help me better manage my assets. So yesterday, as I was sitting in Starbucks reading, I came to an epiphany (with the help of the book, Inside the Millionaire Mind).

Money Matters.

The author of the book, Harv Eker, brought up an interesting point which I will share from my own slant. People who say "money isn't important to me" are generally in a constant financial battle. Eker states that these people are broke which I disagree with. Ask any homeless person or begger on the street, and they will tell you how important money is to well being. These people are broke yet they understand the importance of money. Ask any tremendously wealthy person and they will also tell you how much influence money can buy in basically any affair. Go to the struggling middle class however and quite a few will say "I don't need money to be happy."

Au Contraire.

What they mean to say is "I don't need an obscene amount of money to be happy." Strip them of all their worth, left peniless, and I'm pretty sure each person would have a new appreciation for money. The problem is that we get stuck in this mundain "struggle" and become resentful of the one thing leaving us in this cycle, so we say that money isn't important. This perception is ironically what leaves us in the struggle. When things aren't important, we don't keep them around right? Subconciously, this devaluing of money is sabotaging our financial success.

Now I'm not saying that one cannot be happy without money. I'm just saying that money is one aspect among many, that contributes to general well being, and thus affects happiness.

"But Arun, I'm happy living the simple life!" Fine. I think I would be happy too. But I would be even happier living the simple life AND having a surplus of money that I could donate to building schools in Africa, or Cancer research or whatever. Money doesn't buy happiness, but happiness can sure be affected by its presence (or absence).

Warren Buffet is a great example of a great rich guy. He lives very modestly (I believe he lives in the same Nebraska home he purchased fifty years ago for $30,000), yet he recently donated some 31 BILLION dollars to Bill Gates Charity. Think about how many lives that 31 Billion is going to touch. I bet he feels great too!

That being said, I have decided to become obscenely wealthy. Sure, growing up I've always wanted to be rich but wanting to be something is much different than committing to be something. Rather than waiting for wealth to fall in my lap, I'm going to go get it. How you ask? Good Question. This is why I read books like "Rich Dad Poor Dad" and "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind." It's all about your "inner mind" (more on the power of the "inner mind" coming soon).

So this is the type of sfuff I think about while sitting at Starbucks. Last night it was realizing why money is actually important and thinking about the amount of things it brings us. No, it doesn't buy happiness, but it sure helps.