Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Bar Culture: Expensive for Tools, Free for Women!

Rule number 2493 in Arun's book of life: Don't buy random girls drinks!

Before I start ranting, let me share a short anecdote from this last weekend.

So I am out in PB on Friday with some female friends of mine when we all decide we're feeling a little parched. Darren and I go buy ourselves a beer, and I watch as my friend Trish, newly 21, tests the power of a woman at a bar. She spots her target and stands up next to him at the bar, and actually he offers to buy her and and our other friend a drink. What does he get in return? Eight minutes of fluff conversation with one of the girls. Later we see the same thing happen with him and some other girl. Trish, having finished her drink, decides to go back for seconds and the conversation goes something like this:

Trish (to the dude and other girl he is attempting to mack): Hey! Lets all get Jager shots!
Other Girl: That sounds great!
Dude: Uhh, Ok!
Trish: I need another drink too for after. Do you want one (to the other girl)?

Trish and the other girl, who don't even know each other, exchange a knowing look. Somehow women can communicate to each other telpathically even if they don't know one another. A prime example of this happening is when some guy is talking to a girl and she wants to get the hell out, also known as, "be saved". All she has to do is make eye contact with a woman, any woman, in the bar and she will come "save her," but I digress.

Other Girl: Yea!
Trish (to the bartender): We're gonna need 3 shots of Jager and two cocktails! Thanks!

And who do you think pays? Yes, our little dude friend sitting at the bar. So what happens afterwards? Eight minutes later he's sitting all alone waiting for the next girl he can buy for.

Part of me wants to feel sorry for him, but the reality is that he is a complete tool and brought this all on himself. If you let yourself be taken advantage of, it is going to happen! The truth is, 70% of guys at bars are either idiots or tools, or some combination of the two.

Let me break it down. When a guy offers to buy a girl a drink, what he's really saying is, "I'm not interesting enough or confident enough to talk to you on my own, but I figure if I buy you a gift, you'll think I'm nice and want to stay and talk to me, and eventually we'll live happily ever after."

When a woman is offered a drink by a random guy she's thinking, "Score! This Toolbag is gonna buy me a drink! All I have to do is stay and make small talk with him for eight minutes and I'm outa here! Maybe if he's not too creepy, I'll hit him up for another drink later!"

For this reason, I have NEVER bought a random girl a drink, and I don't expect a girl I've just met to buy me one either. The only exception is if, after some time, you've established a legitimate rapport with the other person. Why is this OK? Because you (or her) are not trying to buy the other persons time, but rather you are acting out of courtesy to a friend. Key phrase here is LEGITIMATE RAPPORT, and this doesn't often happen during a brief encounter.

On another note, many of these ridiculous guys are the same one who excessively oggle. Women, you know who I'm talking about. Just a few weeks ago, I was walking behind two good looking women on the way to the bathroom (and NO I wasn't checking out their asses....ok well maybe just a little :). On the way, we passed three separate idiot guys who each did the following as they walked by:

Idiot 1: "Oh baby oh baby oh!!!"
Idiot 2:...Takes girls hand as she walks by in a weak attempt to pull her over. She's forced to yank her hand away.
Idiot 3: Purposely gets in their way, then kind of rubs against them as they blow him off.

Honestly...who in their right mind thinks "oh baby oh baby oh!" is going to accomplish anything positive? "Hey maybe if I grab this girls hand, she'll look at me and think I'm so attractive that she'll fall into my arms!" Its people like these that give the male side of our species a bad rap.

So what am I saying to you? Guys, exercise your brain a little and don't pander to women you don't know when you are out. Women, don't ask a guy who you actually might like to buy you a drink...if he's smart he'll blow you off and you'll have lost someone both attractive and intelligent. If he's a tool, he'll buy you a drink and then you won't want him anyways.

Guys if you're really that eager to blow money on a bunch of good looking people who won't give you more than eight minutes of their time, send it to me. I'll at least send you two personalized "thank you" emails....eight minutes and 1 second apart :)


Anonymous said...

Now this irrtates me because for decades that was the Bar Rule. This is just an example of greedy people fucking up a system.

Anonymous said...

I get your point. But as a woman I disagree.
Yes, if I were a guy I wouldn't be buying girls drinks all over the place and wasting my money like an idiot.
BUT, as a woman in a bar, if I do like a guy and we've been talking forever, there's obviously a connection and 30 or so min later he still hasn't asked me if I want something to drink or moreover buying himself a beer and ignoring the fact that I'm standing empty handed - he's a cheappo and far from being a gentleman. At that point, even if I like him, no way I'd go out with him again.