Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Friday, November 20, 2009

Why I am a Terrible Blogger

Ok, Ok...I know YOU don't think I'm a terrible blogger. I also know YOU know I don't think I'm a terrible blogger either. BUT, I have been downright neglectful in updating this damn thing. It's called "Arun is Bringing You Your Daily Remedy" not "Arun is Bringing You Your Bi-weekly Remedy Unless He Gets Busy in Which Case He Brings a Once a Month Remedy."

Guilty as Charged.

But I do feel like I have a valid excuse. As I mentioned previously, I'm on the Road Back to School and, as such, every piece of free time has been spent on filling out College Applications. I also happen to be applying to quite a few schools - somewhere between 12-14. AND each of these schools requires, on average, three essays apiece!

As an astute mathematician, my calculations reveal that's about 40 essays. Yes. FORTY DAD-GUM ESSAYS!

As you know, I like writing, but 40 essays is a weencey-bit excessive. To further complicate matters, all of the essay topics are about ME: strengths and weaknesses, short term and long term goals, what I bring to the table etc. I know what you're thinking: "Oh Common Arun! I've read this blog long enough to know you LOVE talking about yourself! Just copy and paste a couple of old blogs and Bodda Boom! You got yourself an essay!"

Well, that would all be fine and dandy if college admissions committees had an appreciation for gross self-indulgence, narcissism, and pictures of me flexing my Schwarzenegger-esque muscles. Unfortunately, they prefer the traditional approach of humility, honesty, and academic essays.

Good lord, I hope they don't Google me.

So, just because I haven't been writing as much, doesn't mean I haven't been going on any fewer adventures, or stopped living life awesome. A lot of my free time is spent filling out applications and writing essays, and when I'm actually not doing those things during my free time, I don't much feel like writing. But, once these college apps start finishing up, I should be Back on the Blogging Bandwagon (how's that for good alliteration?).

And speaking of college applications, I don't know how in the hell some people afford to even APPLY to graduate school!?! A lot of these application fees are over $200. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS just to apply! Not only do these schools make a killing off of tuition, but also off of the suckers like me who apply to twelve schools of which they can only go to one. I don't want to think about how many dollars down the drain that is.

Can you imagine what the applications committee thinks when someone sends in an application and they happen to be under qualified?

"Yea, there is NO-WAY this guy is not going here. Welp, thanks for the $200 Bucks Sucker! Pizza anyone?"

This got me thinking, maybe I should start a University. "Arun's University of Lifetime Awesomeness." I'll charge $199.99 to apply (have to beat the competition!) and then admit 5 percent of the applicants. People will see how selective I am and place A.U.L.A. in the same league as Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton.

Ivy League, Schmivy League!

Unlike those schools, who charge an arm and a leg on tuition, I'll charge about half the amount so everyone will want to apply to my school. Then, since I'm only admitting 5% of applicants, I'm making all my money on people I don't actually have to use money to educate.

Plans like this are why I am going to business school. I have vision, creativity, ambition, and devilish good looks (You knew I was gonna say it...this is why I can't send blogs in as essays), but I just need a little more business savvy :)