The Dentist

Some people hate em, some people love em...well, actually, I don't know anybody who loves them, but I guess some of us don't mind them.

Put me in the later when it comes to visiting the dentist. I've been fortunate enough to have never had any major problems with my teeth. I did have my wisdom teeth removed, but that was an incredibly simple procedure and I had zero pain afterwards.

I don't think I would call a dental visit pleasurable though. There's something disconcerting when you see all types of crazy tools going in your mouth, making a cacophony of sound, knowing that you have no control.

Seriously, how are there not more accidents? And why is it that all of the tools they use look like ancient torture devices? The line em up on a little tray, and the hygienist picks her weapon of choice! I mean, have you seen that little hook thing they use to scrape the plaque off of your teeth? One little slip and BOOM! New tongue piercing!

Luckily though, I haven't had to face the drill more than once or twice for when the dentist put in sealants. I've never had a cavity, but it was pretty frightening when they had the drill in there to shave the sealants down to size. I'd feel a piece of something go flying across my mouth when the drill was in there, and all I could think of was my precious teeth!!! The hygienist assured me it was just the extra sealant.

Interestingly, when ever dentist or hygienist is in the process of inspecting and cleaning, they always insist on having a conversation with me. Now, I love conversations, but it's seriously restricting when I have to limit my responses to "Uh huh," and "Uh Uh." And if its not a yes or no question, what are the chances that if I move my mouth to speak coherently, one of the lovely tools will appear through my cheek?

And usually, they finish you off with a good ol' fluoride swish.

Terrible.

As much as I hate swishing with fluoride, my new dentist office doesn't do it, and I feel like I'm getting jipped. My old dentist used to go on about how good it was for you, and that I need to suck it up and do it. So now that I don't have to do it anymore, sure I avoid the terrible taste of fluoride, but my teeth are missing out!

One of the more interesting visits occurred soon before my wisdom teeth extraction. The hygienist was telling me that if I choose to do the procedure with the dentist (as opposed to an oral surgeon), they'd numb me up, and put me on Nitrous Oxide aka Laughing Gas.

Me: Nitrous Oxide? What's it like?
Hygienist: "It simple! It just relaxes you. If you want, you can try it today during the cleaning"
Me: "Uh...OK!"

No wonder people take it illegally. The stuff makes you feel sooooo relaxed and euphoric. The next time I went in, the hygienist and I had a nearly identical conversation (maybe she didn't remember I tried it last time?) and I tried it again. As good as it was, I ended up going to an oral surgeon for wisdom teeth extraction. They put me on an IV which basically took me out.

But, if you ever get the offer from your dental hygienist, give the ol' laughing has a go! When they take you off the gas, the effects wear off within minutes, so you're good to go.