The Cell Phone Crutch

We are a society dependent on cell phones, and I am no exception...I'm just a little late to the party.

I seriously feel a little naked if I forget to bring my cell phone when I'm going somewhere. God help me if I'm ever stranded without one. The only numbers I remember are my house in Alaska and like three friends' house phone numbers from grade school. In fact, not having any numbers memorized was partially how I ended up in the ol' Stranded, Penniless, and Kidnapped fiasco.

Amongst my friends though, I was one of the last people to get a cell phone. I didn't get one until my second year in college. My whole first year, the dorm land-line was my means of communication with outside world along with a sticky pad of all my numbers. Unfortunately there was no "silent" button on the dorm room ringer, and my roommate would always get thoroughly annoyed when my Mom called at 9:00am every Saturday and woke him from his slumber.

Those were also the days when I actually used a pay phone or phone booth on occasion. Do phone booths even EXIST anymore? I can't remember the last time I saw one.

I can't believe that now a days, people in grade school are walking around with cell phones. If I was a teacher, it would drive me nuts. Why do kids even NEED a cell phone? There's no need to make calls during the day since you're at school, and most of your friends are in the same building. After school plans are usually made in person, or else just go home (which is usually close to school anyways) and use the phone! This boggles me.

So in my second year, I finally got a cell phone and easily integrated into the luxurious life of mobile communication! I recently made yet another addition to my world of mobile communication...I purchased a bluetooth device!

Now first, let me point out how annoying I find it when people walk around all day with those damn ear pieces clinging to their face! It's not enough to have your cell phone in your pocket...OH NO! That's too far! They need to have it on their ear at all times for fear of making the caller wait for two whole rings! I suppose I could understand if your profession requires that you are constantly receiving calls, but that's not the case with most blue tooth wearers, plus I doubt you're conducting a hell of a lot of business while waiting in line at Starbucks.

I actually went from no bluetooth to now having two! But, I have legitimate reasons for both. One is an earpiece for home because my cell phone reception sucks in most areas of my house, so I need to leave the phone near a window. The other is a bluetooth car visor attachment since as of July 1, it will be illegal in California to talk on a cell phone without a hands free device while driving (Great Law BTW).

But my integration into the bluetooth world has been a little less smooth. I constantly hang up on people when transferring from the handset to the headset and vice versa. Plus now, I have to be aware of not only my cell phone's battery life, but that of the bluetooth as well.

The other day I was on the phone and something started beeping. Was it my phone? The headset? BOTH!?! I had no idea. I look at my phone and it was displaying some weird blinking symbol. I looked at my headset, and it was blinking red, orange, and blue. Beeping...Blinking...Flashing...Did I hit the self-destruct switch?!! So, I did the only logical thing I could do...I hung up. Of course I called back on my thankfully non-destructed cell phone.

It's always funny when you get cut off during a phone conversation, how it usually takes a while to get a hold of the other person again. First, you try calling back and get a busy signal (actually, these days its "straight to the voicemail" since busy signals don't really exist anymore) because the other person hasn't yet realized you were cut off. Then you call again, but since they're calling you, no one gets through. Then you resolve to play the waiting game, but guess what? So are they.

Aside from the stupid style trend of the bluetooth headset, it also encourages excessive public cell phone usage which is equally as annoying as the fashion trend. I was at the drug store the other day, and this stupid girl was yelling into the phone about some "who's hooking up with who" gossip. Are you serious? EVERYONE in the store could hear her entire conversation.

There's also the people at the gym who feel the need to have their phone always on them. CAN'T YOU BE AWAY FROM THE WORLD FOR A LITTLE WHILE!?! Again, I find cell phone's in the gym, ESPECIALLY when people are on the machines "working out" and chatting away, very stupid.

Possibly the WORST offense of public cell phone abuse was in college by my friend Sharod. A big group of us went to the theater to see X-Men 2. During the beginning of the movie his cell phone rings.

Offense number 1.

So what does he do? HE ANSWERS THE DADGUM THING!

Sharod (in a loud whisper): "Hello?....Oh hey how's it going man?!? I'm in a movie so can I call you back?... Cool, and tell Mario I said hey"

Seriously, who answers their phone in a movie? I was shocked and NEVER let him live that down.

So come July, I'm due for a free new phone. The problem is, they're all big and/or excessive. I like small, sleek phones with good functionality and a simple interface. Now, they're all mini-supercomputers! Oh well...I guess I'll just have to get with the times again.

We all know my Sketchy cell phone history. For my sake, I just hope it doesn't have a self-destruct button.