Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Friday, October 19, 2007

The San Luis Brawl


It was a dark Tuesday night in the "quaint" little town of San Luis Obispo. Apparently Quaint went on vacation on this night.

Will, my roommate at the time, and I decide to walk over to the theater to see a movie. I didn't need much convincing since Will was an assistant manager at the theater and anytime I went with him, movies were FREE.

We get to the theater around 10:00pm and it's pretty empty. The movie by the way, SUCKED, and I don't even remember what it's called. Well, as the previews get underway, a group of six guys come in through the emergency exit door and plop their noisey butts a few rows in front.

I actually didn't notice them come in through the exit, but Will being an assistant manager and also being one who likes to "stick it" to wrongdoers, gets up and alerts the staff to these shananigans.

When he got up to take care of this, he just said "I'll be back," then came back and told me what he did. Meh...whatever. The guys ended up having to go to the front during the previews and purchase tickets. Big Deal.

After the movie, Will took me up to the booth to show me all the movie reels and stuff which was pretty cool. Then, as we got outside the movie theater, six ugly guys looking none-too-happy were waiting for us.

Call it a hunch, but I don't think they were waiting to discuss the amazingness of the six-dollar suck-fest they just paid to watch.

We ignore them and start walking home...they follow.

To say they were pissed would be like saying I'm only moderately attractive ;) Yes, they were FURIOUS at Will.

As we walked they were baraging Will with verbal barbs. Think of the most offensive stuff to say, and they were yelling it. Interestingly, they were so focused on their detest of my roommate, that I was pretty much being ignored. They must have inherently sensed my coolness (as well as my toughness) and decided it would be best to leave me alone.

Will started to get scared (understandibly) and starts running! I chase after him and right behind me is the stampede of six angry ogres. I finally catch up to him as he slows down. We're now in the middle of Downtown SLO and people start noticing that six Zoo-escapees are coming after us.

Being the geniouses that we are, we turn a corner and are now walking away from downtown, down a dark, desserted street. Me thinking, "hmmm...maybe this wasn't the best idea."

Now they start surrounding us. Will is pretty much freaking out and dials 9-1-1.

So here we are, on a dark lonely street, me standing in flip-flops, and skinny Will on the phone with emergency services. I, being particularly astute in Mathematics, do a quick mental calculation and deduce that our odds against six angry thugs are not exactly stellar.

One of the guys is REALLY agitated so I move to him first to try and calm him down.

Me: "Calm down dude, it's just a movie"
Ogre 1: **Innaudible groan of anger**
Me: "You paid six dollars and you're pissed? Come on man, let it go."
Ogre 1: **More innaudible groans of anger**

This guys so pissed that I've now physically got my hands on him, holding him back.

Me: (now turning to Will) "Will, just walk back downtown and go into a bar (he was 21 at the time, I was only 20) where there are people"

As I turn to tell him this, the guy I'm holding, blows right passed me, grabs Will by the shirt and throws him to the ground like a rag doll! Then, a few of the other guys go and start kicking him as he's on the ground moaning into the phone with a dispatcher on the line!!!

I had never been in a real fight before, but at this point adrenalin kicked in, and normal Arun became SUPER HULK ARUN and let loose the "Arun Fury of Madness!"

I run up to Ogre #1, grab him by the back of his collar, and throw him hard, face first, into the side of a building. Then I grab Ogre #2 and throw him into the ground. The other two involved in the kicking back off or something (I don't really remember).

So now I'm literally standing over Will, who's lying in pain on the ground, my fists clenched, yelling incredibly lound "GET THE F**K OFF!!! GET THE F**K OFF!!!"

Seriously, I don't think I've ever looked so feroscious. It's amazing what a little adrenaline does for you, but even I would have been scared of me at that moment.

Luckily the guys decided to bolt after this exclaiming to Will "You're lucky you're not alone and that's all you got!!!"

Good thing they scurried away. Sure I had a lot of fury pumping through my vains at the time, but against six guys, my Greek-god-like body and angelic face would have been in grave danger of injury!

As soon as the thugs left, bystanders run up to us exclaiming they saw everything, and one of them even tries to follow the escapees!

The cops then show up and tell us that they've caught four of the six suspects already! Jeez, I must say I was pretty impressed with their expediency!

The main intigator of the fight ended up getting charged with "Assault with a deadly weapon" because of his kicks to Will's head. He served some time in the slammer and got a hefty fine.

Will's hard head finally came in handy and he escaped, suprisingly rather unscathed.

I escaped with no injuries and about three nights of restless sleep. The more I thought about it though, the tougher I felt for holding them off! (Yes, believe it or not, it is actually possible for me to think even MORE of myself :)

I've thought about going into a career as a crime fighter/super hero.

Super Arun?
Model Man?
Hero of Handsome?
The Chisled Charmer?

Maybe I'll parlay my super hero status into a business..."Super Arun and Associates." It would consist of me being famous, and the crime fighting "dirty work" being handled by my associates :) Good plan!

1 comment:

Edward said...

Ha, entertaining to read Arun. Good to know you can kick some ass when needed. I had a similar experience Downtown one night as well...godo times in SLO!