Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Flip Cup Fiasco

Look up the word "Fiasco" in the dictionary.

My guess is the the 2009 edition of Webster's dictionary will define it as "The March 2008 celebration of Arun's friend Danny's Birthday. See also debauchery."

I really had no idea what to expect. Danny's parents were throwing a party for him and inviting the old (now Danny), the young, the cousins, the friends, and the beautiful (obviously where I fit in :) The last time I had been over there, I was expecting just a nice quite dinner gathering, but ended up having a little waxing adventure.

Anything was possible.

It started out innocently enough. A Gourmet dinner cooked by Danny's Mom accompanied with a seemingly endless supply of beer (foreshadowing), and three types of dessert. Me, not wanting to be rude and reject such hospitality, helped myself to ample portions of all three desserts.

We all went out back to the bar-Hacienda and hung out while drinking beers and cocktails. A beer less than half full is unacceptable in the eyes of Danny's Father, and no one's hands were ever empty. Soon, he filled up his little tequila spout, and went around pouring tequila down everyone's gullet a la Tijuana, Mexico. Half the family is Mexican, so apparently, this is a routine.

I graciously accept.

People drank. People played black jack. People drank. People socialized. Oh, and people drank. All was relatively tame...until Bruno suggested a game of flip cup (also known as "Boat Races" for some ridiculous reason).

Now this was no ordinary game of flip was massive. Eight or nine people per team. Everyone was well liqueured as the games begun (Big surprise, I know). We, of course were dominating the other team. Me, being one who enjoys instigating, and stirring the pot began the usual trash talk during the game. At one point I was focusing my verbal barrage of wit at the girl who was the anchor of the other team as she was frantically trying to flip her cup against our anchor player.

Me: "You are garbage! You're not worthy of the game! You're not worthy at LIFE! This isn't the cup Olympics! We're not going for 'most cup flips!' It's not 'who's cup can go the highest!'"

She couldn't handle it. We won! She grabbed my collar, got right in my face, and made an attempt to rebuttal with her own trash talk (obviously futile). Actually, I think she wanted to kiss me to shut me up (can I blame her?) but that was impossible as her boyfriend was not far away. I proceeded to recommend she read my Trash Talking Tutorial, and practice up. This fired her up even more (I love it!). Just as she really got going though, I feel Bruno wrap his arm around me.

Uh...Ok. I pay no attention, until I feel a cool dampness on my head...and by "cool dampness" I mean the free flow of fizzy beer flowing down my locks, courtesy of Bruno.

This is where "mob theory" kicks in. Emotions are contagious, and when one person starts doing something crazy (ie. the instigator in a riot or mob), other people get compelled to join in.

So, as I twist away from Bruno to get away from the beer stream, I'm half bent over. Bruno's arm is still around me and as I look up, I see the beginning of my demise in slow motion. A cup-full of beer on the table....a mysterious hand grips it firmly...the arm cocks back...there's no time for dodging...if I'm quick I might be able to close my life flashes before my eyes...

Boom! Face full of beer. Next thing I know, I'm running around, getting hit from all angles! The assault finally halts as I'm standing there drenched. Everyone looks around. We all know what's coming and he who acts last will take the most punishment! In a split second, chaos breaks loose and everyone is gunning for the closest beer or coke. The beverage fridge flies open and Danny is issuing cokes and beer out like rifles to soldiers!

I duck under the table with cokes in hand. Bruno is being stalked and there's no way I'm giving him the warning after the little rinse he gave me. He senses it and turns.

Bruno: "AHHH! My eyes!"

The stalker has shaken up the coke for maximum volatility and nailed him squarely in the face with a stream of freshly opened Coca Cola. Adam and Nikki were meanwhile hiding behind the flamingo statue lobbing cup-full napalms of beverage at whoever they could.


No one was safe! Poor Darren was hiding in the corner trying to avoid the chaos. Big mistake. He who takes no action, takes punishment!

Sarah was prepared with a water bottle but was quickly scolded by Danny. "What the hell are you doing!!!" He slapped the water out of her hands and replaced it with a fresh Coke...real ammo.

An unsuspecting Darren was owned.

On the drive home, I couldn't stop laughing as he complained. "Dude, everytime I blink my eyes, my eyelids stick together!"

I then see Danny lead a small army of soldiers around the corner to get Brent. Suddenly I hear yelling and laughter, and the attackers booking it back around the corner, with Danny trailing and a beverage covered Brent retaliating with the garden hose firing away!

I've gotta get my hands on the plethora of pictures that were taken. Webster called and they want a picture to go along with the new definition.

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