Spam!

It seems like no matter the form of communication, we just can't escape spam! Play the video below as you continue reading...it just sets the mood :)



I suppose it all started back in the day with a good ol' can-o-meat called spam. Seriously, who eats spam? I've actually never tried it before, but somehow canned, rectangular, mystery meat doesn't sound all that Mmm Mmm Good.

Then one day, a computer nerd was so sick and tired of being harassed by unwanted, unsolicited email, that he decided to call it the worst name he could think of!

"Spam"

Take THAT! Ha!

Unfortunately, this vile name-calling did not derail the "spammers." In fact they increased their efforts, so much so that most of the mail and communication we get, is in fact spam.

Think about it. I don't know about you, but when I get the mail from my mailbox, I end up throwing most of it away. Although I suppose it is comforting to know I qualify for 653 different credit cards with 0% APR.

Then, today at work I get a call. I pick up and some stupid recording is already in progress with some guy telling me about uber cheap tech support. Later on, I'll probably get a call from a volunteer party worker calling on behalf of Joe Congressman asking if I can be counted on to pledge my support in November. I really hope this isn't how they gather national statistics because I always just answer "yes" just to get them off the phone.

On the internet, as we all know, it's rampant. Luckily, our emails have filters to catch all of the amazing offers for free porn, money, vacations, Viagra, and my personal favorite, penis enlargement.

"Gigantor" is plenty big, thank you very much.

Then I log on to myspace, and see that I have new friend requests. Low and behold, it's three amazingly beautiful women who all happen to want to be friends with me! Now when I first joined myspace, I used to think they were legitimate friend requests. After all, it's only natural that three supermodels would want to be friends with me :) I was wise to their scheme though when I went to the pages and saw that they each were waiting for me on their "special naughty web cam."

Gawd.

Even worse is when you scroll down to look at the comments on their page and see Joe Douchebag write, "Wutz up Hun? Get back at me" and Terry Toolbag with "Hey Gorgeous. How you doin?"

Jeez, Get a clue.

Actually, sometimes I worry that my friend requests to people might get rejected because they'll automatically assume that someone so devilishly handsome must be myspace spam :)

But I always wonder who is coming up with these schemes and sending them out? Usually with phone and email spam, its just people trying to get free advertising, marketing, or sales. They play a pure numbers game. If you call 50,000 people a day, you're bound to get a couple of idiots.

But what about the EXTRA diabolical guys? I want to meet that guy from Nigeria who is the heir to an incredible fortune, but needs MY help because it's all in a Nigerian bank. Apparently my email address just seemed like someone he could trust with his entire fortune to hold the money in my U.S. bank. As a token of his appreciation, he's going to give me 20 million bucks! What a nice guy. All I have to do is give him my bank account number.

Oh I'll give him something alright, and it's not exactly my bank account number.

The other type of spam that's everywhere on the internet, are those containing viruses. This is a real mind boggler. Who does this? Some nerd sitting in his room bent on world DOMINATION? He probably has posters of Cobra Commander and Lex Luthor hanging on his bedroom wall in his parents basement.

When is it going to end? I don't know. All I know is, Weird Al (see above) certainly hit the nail on the head with his song (even though it's about the meat, not the nuisance). Spam is everywhere!