Dr. McDreamy and Halloweeny

Ahh yes...Halloween. The one weekend every year that's a major hassle to prepare for, but is always fun to go out, partially because in San Diego, everywhere is a party, and yes, because this is the one weekend where girls can dress as skanky, slutty, and downright hoochie-mama as they want to and get away with it.

Seriously, while perusing costumes with my friend Vanessa, EVERY premade woman's costume was a "Naughty" this, and "Sexy" that. She was appalled...I obviously had no issues with the costumes. In fact my friend Diana bought some sort of Venetian outfit, but did some personal tailoring so that she wouldn't stand out what with all the extra clothing. As she put it, "Arun! I'm a 'Venetian Whore.' That's not what the costume was called, but I just slutted up the name."

Perfect.

This year, as I do every other year, I waited until the last minute to find something. Everybody always says I look like Antonio Banderas (or rather he looks almost as marvelous as ME :) so I thought Zorro would be a fitting costume. The problem is, the effort level, combined with the cash expenditure was far above what I do for Halloween.

I entertained not dressing up and going around as a "Supermodel," but for some reason all of my friends laughed at the suggestion.

So I came up with something simple yet clever. As long as girls are dressing up, or rather NOT dressing up, sexily, I might as well take full advantage and do something minorly offensive on any normal day, but cunningly (or should I say "cunnilingly") funny on Halloween.

I dressed up as a Doctor. Obviously nothing wrong so far, but the magic was in the name tag I made.

"Dr. Seymour Box - OBGYN"

For you international readers, this may not make sense to you as the slang doesn't translate. Around here though, "Box" is a another term for a woman's "special place".

So I'm walking around everywhere with a plastic stethoscope and Doctor's reflector (what are those things for anyways?) all night with random girls volunteering to be patients.

Jeez, and I thought only the costumes were risque'!

Of course by the end of the night, my reflector was broken and the strap was missing, and all I had left of my plastic stethoscope was half of an earpiece. During last year's Halloween Extravaganza when I was Michael Jackson, I managed to lose my microphone prop on Friday, bought another for Saturday night, and promptly lost that one as well.

And speaking of Halloween last year, that post contains a VERY racy picture of my friends Ibis and Jane posing with their costumes as "flashers." Interestingly, they have now become internet sensations....how you ask?

When you type the word "flashers" in google image search, the picture of them from my website is the FIRST result! When they found out, they were happy...at first. Then when the realization set in that this may not be the best way to become famous on the internet, especially since Ibis is now a grade school teacher, I felt a little wrath. Luckily, "Ibis" is only her nick name, and, for my own sake of well-being, I will not post her real name for fear that she will come after me. (and that's not even a joke. She would hurt me!)

So, on Halloween Saturday this year, I went to a few party's, but one stood out in particular. It was a Duplex converted into a house. But when I say "party" I really mean "mob of costumed people getting absolutely insane under a shelter that probably doesn't resemble any type of livable structure anymore."

There must have been like 250 people there when we arrived.

In one half of the duplex, people were getting down to the Hip-Hop DJ they hired. In the other, they had a "House/Techno Beat" DJ. In the garage in the middle, was a 36 person game of flip cup.

I don't know how anyone in there right mind could have a party like this unless you have absolutely NO regard for your personal belongings.

At one point, I was behind a guy at the beer keg who was filling up a BLENDER.

Guy: "Welp...I couldn't find a cup, and this was the best thing I could locate."

I don't know about you, but I would be pissed if Joe Random was chugging beer from my nice blender.

Then, as I was going through the kitchen, I smelled something funny.

Girl: "Oh my Gosh, it's on!!!"

I turn and see a glowing red stove with a jug of animal crackers getting toasted to smitherines.

I reminded me of one of those 90's sitcomes where the parents would go away, and kids would throw a giant party while they were gone only to see everything get completely destroyed and out of hand. It was like that, except for instead of the "kids" who lived there starting to freak out, they were getting tossed playing flip cup.

I only managed to handle about 20 minutes of chaos before leaving...although not before snagging two cookies, a handful of candy-corns, and a candy bracelet for the road :)

You know you're either too old (or too young) when amongst everything: the crazy parties, the near-naked women, the free pass to be a little offensive, and the copious available booze, you're favorite part of Halloween is the abundance of CANDY! :)