Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Halloween Havoc


Good ol' Halloween...oh how the years change what this holiday means to people.

When we were kids, it was all about dressing up as the coolest superhero, and running around the neighborhood getting candy from all sorts of people...well sort of.

I spent most of my trick or treating days up in Anchorage, Alaska where it's just tad nippier than everywhere else. It was always a bummer because my Mom would always make us where our winter coat OVER our costumes thus ruining the effect of dressing up!

Walking through the neighborhood was also tricky. By October 31, there was usually a thin coat of snow and ice on the ground which made hauling huge bags of candy up and down driveways slightly hazardous.

Only in Alaska...

And I never understood why people left baskets of candy outside of there door when they weren't home. Sure they had good intentions, but seriously, did they expect the first group of kids who find this gold mine, not to take it all??? I don't think I ever found one with a single piece of candy.

And speaking of Candy...a note for you who give out candy to kids:

Worst Candy: Piece of Gum, Couple of tootsie rolls, jolly ranchers, dum dums, bite size anything.
Best Candy: Any type of Candy Bar (yes "Fun Size" is acceptable), any chocolate more than two squares, anything that takes more than one bite to consume.

These days, the concept of Halloween is totally different. For a young adult, it means it's time to get crazy in the costume party frenzy that is Halloween! For most guys, it involves the pain of finding a costume, just so you can enjoy partying with all of the girls who have been planning their costume for months. For a lot of girls, it's an excuse to be a skanky ________(insert any noun here). Pick any type of conceivable costume, add the the word naughty before it, and boom, you have a female Halloween costume.

That is indeed what happened during the week long Hallows Eve festivities.

Last Friday, my buddy had a huge party. He and his roommates throw a huge Halloween party every year and go crazy decorating the place. This year was no different. I, at the last moment, had the brilliant idea of being 80's Michael Jackson for Halloween. This was brilliant for a few reasons:

1. I've been known to bust a few MJ moves (including the "Crotch-Grab of Wonder").
2. I've been known to do a mean MJ Karaoke (complete with falsetto "Hee hee's" and "Shamone's").
3. I actually sort of look like him if I where aviator sunglasses and a fedora.
4. I have longish hair and my skin is brown (just in case this wasn't apparent in the picture).
5. I was able to preserve some semblance of sex-appeal (good thing I have an abundance of this :) as opposed to some other costume ideas I had (nacho libre, sumo guy).

So come Friday night I was bustin moves all over the place! I even had a glittery microphone prop which I promptly lost on Friday. So I bought another one and promptly lost it again on Saturday. I then came to the realization that me carrying a prop around was obviously not working out.

Unfortunately, the Friday fun was broken up by the good ol' Boys in Blue as it was in full swing. Now usually, one would expect maybe one or two cops to come end the fun. Apparently there were no other disturbances in San Diego this night because in comes TWO SUBURBAN LOADS OF COPS. It seriously felt like some kind of a drug raid. All of a sudden flashlights all over the place are pointing in my face!

I finally make it outside and see a truck with huge search beams pointed at my friends house! A smidgen excessive for a Halloween party if you ask me.

Then comes Saturday, day two of the extravaganza. This time, I met up with some friends to hang out before shocking Mission Beach with the finest Michael Jackson it has ever seen.

Well Mission Beach was gonna be shocked alright, but not by me. I innocently arrive at Ibis' and Jane's house. I had once asked Ibis what her Halloween costume was going to be, but she refused to spill the beans, responding only with "Oh, you'll see *wink wink*!"

My poor virgin eyes got an eyeful (and I mean an eye-FULL).

I walk in and Ibis and Jane are dressed innocently enough: Leather trench coats wrapped securely and a fedora on top. Hmmm....undercover detectives or something?

Well they were definitely undercover, but they sure as hell weren't detectives.

Ibis and Jane: "Ok Arun, are you ready?"
Me: "Ready for what?"
Ibis and Jane: "One...Two...Three"
Me: ....(staring, jaw hanging, eyes meandering) "OH...MY...GOD!"

What followed was the most insane, eye popping, stare provoking, yet somehow awesome costumes ever. Sure I threw-up in my mouth a little bit, but it was worth it...I think. A picture of the two is below in their full frontal glory.


Yes...they were Flashers. Suffice to say, they won the costume contest down in Mission Beach, by more than a hair (and by the looks of it, I'd say a lot of hairs).

So then came Wednesday...good ol' Halloween night. I had a steady stream of trick or treaters come by my office all day, and as it was the first time I've had trick or treaters of my own, it was a lot of fun. I forgot how cool kids are!

I also forgot how cool I am! (hard to believe, I know).

Jeff and I went to an upscale bar in PB and wreaked havoc.

Theorem 58 in "Arun's Guide to Lifetime Awesomeness": Jeff and Arun + FREE Rum + super outgoingness (yes I made a new word) + Fun Costumes + Music = Halloween Havoc!

Apparently when you wear a Michael Jackson costume out, and they start playing Michael Jackson music, and you start moonwalking your booty all over the place, you become immensely popular.

Everyday should be Halloween!...Either that, or I may need to permanently dress like MJ whenever I go out.

Jeff meanwhile was dressed as a doctor (specialty: OBGYN) and prescribing girls a healthy dose of "Jeff" as the remedy for everything!

The rest of the world needs to join in on this holiday. Free Candy, crazy costumes, fun stuff everywhere...why not? Maybe when I become the World Ambassador, I'll institute this as a new international holiday......of course AFTER I institute "International Arun Day" :)

3 comments:

bna858 said...

My poor virgin eyes got an eyeful too. Luckily your into the natural look though...

LibrarianStina said...

BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES EVER!!!!!!! I totally want to steal this idea sometime! any idea how they did it?

Arun said...

Hmmm....I think they bought some kind of spandex suits and uses some cheap wig hair or something for the muffs. Not sure about the nipples!