Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

If there's a competition going on, you can generally count on two things with me:

1. I don't care what it is, I want in
2. I will have already begun trash-talking, regardless of my skill level in the chosen sport.

So, when my friend Silvia asked me if I'd be her partner in the 2009 Leroy Invitational basketball tournament, my answer was, "Yes! And we are going to DOMINATE everyone like the Harlem Globetrotters embarrass the Washington Capitals every week!"

In preparation for the Leroy, we needed a team theme as well as creative bios. Silvia left his in my hands since she knows I like to write. I had however forgotten to write them until about 15 minutes before the deadline, so in my haste, I whipped up these beauties:

80's Allstars

Silvia - "Slice n' Dice":
'Slice' leads the 80's All Stars into battle this year with experience, athleticism,
and style. Whether she's sippin on the finest red wine, or dominating people on the court, she's not afraid to rock the neon spandex. This year, Slice has prepared for Leroy ownage by cross training with such sports as kickball, bocci-ball, and sex. Though small in size, she's not afraid to throw a hard, hospital sending foul if you get past her. Don't let the pretty face fool you...Silvia "Slice n Dice" Noriega will eff you up!

Arun - "The Face":
Arun earned the nickname "The Face of San Diego" from his runway prowess, but the name extends to the court as well. He's not afraid to throw the ball in YOUR face. Arun specializes in Trash Talk Distraction (TTD). He gets in your head, does cartwheels, and doesn't get out! Although he is a Leroy rookie, his basketball experience is far from novice. Arun has extensive experience from Freshman year basketball tryouts (after which he was cut). Furthermore, he has an impeccable H-O-R-S-E record and even more impeccable P-I-G record. He plays a nice enough game, but if you touch his most prized possession, his Face, BEWARE - he just might challenge you to a walkoff!

Suffice it to say, the competition was intimidated when these bios came out in the pre-tournament program.

So Sunday arrived, and Silvia were decked out in our Sunday Best - for some people this means a suit and tie, but for me it is ultra short shorts, an old school Jersey, and a headband. The crowd went wild when Silvia and I arrived.

The tournament went well and we were on a winning streak! All was looking good until I we ran into Big Ben, or more appropriately, Crazily Tall Ben. Silvia matched up fine against his partner, Michelle, but something about 6-2 Arun matched up against 6-9 Ben seems a tiny bit lop-sided.

This may come as a surprise to you, but he blocked several of my shots. Equally surprising may be that I managed to block exactly zero of his.

I will conveniently spare you the details of my ass-whipping, but we did manage to wind up on one side of the winners podium!

I still went home a winner though! At the post tournament barbecue, I'm pretty sure I managed to win the title for "most tacos consumed." Sure nobody else knew there was a contest going on, but since going home a loser was not an option, I conveniently neglected to inform everyone as I stuffed my face :)