Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Three Date First Date

And as promised, today we get to the entertaining and unconventional story of a first date I went on with a girl I was dating earlier this year.  As you'll find out, her nickname, "Giggles" is very "a propos."

But lets be honest...this is me.  Did you expect anything less than entertaining and unconventional??

Now most guys might give you the "Joe Cool" version of how things went down where they are a totally confident charmer who plays everything perfectly and the girl falls totally all over him.

But that's not entertaining in the least.  OBVIOUSLY I'm confident and smooth, but anyone would be lying if they didn't tell you they have insecure and dorky concerns running through there head on a daily basis. I prefer to reveal all of the hidden dorkiness in its full hilarity.

So we agreed to meet at a "trendy" bar/restaurant in La Jolla.  Now normally, I prefer to do "first dates" in areas I'm more familiar with (ie closer to my house), because then we can "discover" some charming hidden spot and I appear like a cultured hero.

Since I've lived in La Jolla though, its changed so damn much that I only know a couple of neat places.  I had heard this place called Barfly was pretty hip, so I thought I'd try my luck with Giggles.

As I'm driving over, Giggles informs me she's going to be a little late at which point I walk down from my parking spot and take the picture you see above...I live in a terrible city, I know.

I walk over to the restaurant to see what this hip & trendy spot will have in store for us, and am a little shocked as I walk in...

Completely. Empty.

And when I say "completely empty," I mean that there's not a damn person in the place and a waitress across the way is hanging out in the kitchen and chatting with the cook because she obviously has nothing else to do.

Arun - Strike 1.

I walk back out in mini-panic.  I chose the place. Now I look like a schmuck who doesn't know how to pick decent, let alone trendy places.  I run through the options in my mind and I see Giggles coming around the corner.

More Panic.

My eyes dart around for immediate options in view:

Candy Store - too casual.
Massage Place - too weird.
Smash Burger - Too gassy.

The options had dried up and Giggles had arrived! So I said the first thing that came to mind:

"Your in luck...I decided to rent the place out for just us!"

Luckily, I'm quick with the jokes.

So we sit down and the waitress comes over to take our drink orders:

Me: "I'll take a Mojito!"
Giggles: "I'll have a Ginger Ale...I don't really drink"

For those of you who are quick - YES, I planned a date, at a bar, with a girl who (it turns out) doesn't drink.

Strike 2.

In another bout of amazing preparation, I had been drinking a lot of water and coffee that day which resulted in the explosive urge to urinate literally every 30 minutes throughout the evening.

We stay for maybe an hour (during which I make two trips to the restroom) and actually have a really good time at which point we both start getting hungry. In my amazing planning, I neglected to look at the quality of the menu which as it turns out, is astonishingly mediocre.

Strike 3.

I suggest a Thai restaurant I know and we walk over - date #2.  On the walk over, we pass a cute old couple undoubtedly wrapping up their own date night (it was like 7 o'clock which is well-passed old-person bed time).

This is perfect.  Old people and I have a mutual adoration from each other.  I always get along with them and engage them, and they always tell me how great I'd be for their grand daughters.  We chatted for a bit as we walked, by the end of which the Grandma had said I was a "VERY nice boy," the two of us were a "very nice looking couple," and "don't stay out too late!".

Apparently, Grandma was my wingman for the night.

We get to the restaurant and after another trip to the restroom, we mull over menu options.  If there's any menu I know, it's Thai food.  So, I suggest two awesome dishes - one rice dish, and another noodle dish.

Giggles: "Actually, I don't really eat rice and noodles"

Strike 4 Arun.

We end up ordering two amazing non-rice, non-noodle dishes.  Now anyone who knows me, knows I absolutely LOVE dessert.  So I start chatting about the most amazing carrot cake I've ever had.  Surprisingly, Giggles is adamant that we have it TONIGHT, so after another trip for bladder relief, we drive over to the carrot cake restaurant - date #3.

This restaurant is actually a really nice place.  It's late at this point, with not many people left.  We sit by the bar as a piano player performs jazzy tunes and order the carrot cake...along with two cocktails.

Yes...Giggles is now having a drink for the second time ever in her life.  Either she's having a good time, or she's drowning the pain of an evening with "4-strikes, No-Bladder, Arun".

We enjoy our dessert and cocktails...but there's a slight problem.  The drink she ordered is not good, and nearly undrinkable.  We power through half of it, but neither of us are the type to send something back.  The waitress however was super attentive, noticed we were struggling, and insisted on remaking the drink.

Giggles started drinking the new drink, but the waitress sensed it was still unsatisfactory.  We insisted on keeping the drink, but she would not relent and made yet another completely different drink.

Giggles found this delicious.

We finished our drinks, and by now we're the only people left.  I visit my favorite room one more time for lower abdominal relief, and Giggles and I walk outside.

Now if you've ever wondered what happens to someone who doesn't drink when she drinks two fairly potent on.

Now normally I'm pretty funny, but all of sudden as we're walking outside, Giggles is laughing at everything I say.  When I nicknamed her "Giggles," she was double over in stitches. At first I figured that I was just on an incredible roll of hilarity, but when I noticed her balance a little off, I realized what had happened.

Yes, Giggles was drunk.

Arun - Strike 5 (or possibly Giggles - strike 1?)

I'll spare you from any mushy end-of-date details, but I took her home, reassured her that she did nothing foolish (preserving others egos are situations where I feel its ok to lie a bit), and date #4 was scheduled for the next day.

Somehow, 5 strikes and a bladder with the control of a 97 year old woman did not dissuade her from me.

Apparently, she's more into bowlers than baseball players.