Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Monday, November 26, 2007

The Perfect Thanksgiving Plan

After many years of hard work, trial and error, and many turkeys I have finally perfected the Thanksgiving plan of attack!

A great day indeed. Gather with friends and family, and feast!

Over the years, man has sought a singularly effective strategy for maximizing food intake and post meal laziness on this sacred day. The common misconception and ill-fated strategy is to skip all meals and starve ones' self up until the "meal of magic."

FOLLY! Don't get caught in this widely spread yet ineffective plan!

I know what you're thinking. "Common Arun! I'm making my stomach as empty as possible to receive the glorious feast! What kind of hair-brained strategy could you possibly have that makes more sense! AND, what happened to your so-called healthy living?!?"

Worry not dear friends! All shall be answered.

First of all, allow me to do some debunking. Now, the problem with the ever-so-popular starvation strategy, has to do with shrinkage. When you starve, your stomach temporarily shrinks, thus offering very limited space for Thanksgiving goodness.

So what's the alternative? Allow me to present the newly released "Arun's Guide to An Awesome Thanksgiving Feast."

It all starts on the Monday prior to Turkey Day. Monday - Wednesday requires stringently scheduled workouts. I plan on eating ridiculous amounts of food, and then piling on ridiculous amounts of dessert on top of that, thus equating to ridiculous amounts of awesomeness (don't argue with the Math).

Now these workouts are your ticket to earning Thanksgiving Dinner entry. Go for a run and imagine yourself chasing a perfectly basted turkey with stuffing spilling out! Go for a swim and picture yourself backstroking through thick country gravy surrounded my mountains of pillowy mashed potatoes.

God, I'm getting hungry just writing this!

Suffice to say, I worked out very hard in the days preceding Thanksgiving. But, I also brought the diet to compliment it. Monday - Wednesday, I ate NO meat, and had only giant salads for dinner.

Why is this important? Well, aside from being healthy, the diet also increased my craving for a great Thanksgiving dinner and brought new appreciation for its' amazingness.

So now that I had adequately prepared in the days prior, I woke up bright and early on Thanksgiving morning, ready for the day! After all this preparation though, I wasn't about to sabotage my upcoming meal with inadequate same day preparation! So, the first thing I did, was go for a five mile run in the crisp morning air!

Exercise does wonder for building appetite. But, now with my run out of the way, it was time to focus on stomach capacity! I ate a good sized bowl of cereal for my dinner prep. This meal is important as it keeps your stomach open and flexible, and gives it a little warmup for the upcoming pounding.

As the meal got closer, and we were at the TG dinner location, I did some light snacking. This is OK, but there is a fine line! Too much snacking, and you've sabotaged yourself. Too little, and you risk stomach shrinkage.

Alternatively, a cup of tea about 45 minutes prior is also good because it provides temporary fullness, AND the warmth of the tea creates stomach expansion.

WARNING! Never down a cold beverage within 20 minutes of the meal on an empty stomach!!! This will result in stomach shrinkage and thus limit your dinner intake! That would be DISASTER!

Finally, it was dinner time, and I was ready to go to work!

So what did all this preparation get me? Two big plates of Thanksgiving dinner, two pieces of pie, and a big cupcake! After becoming gut-busting full, I proceeded to take a nice nap and let it all settle in. The rest of the day was spent puttering around and being otherwise unproductive and lazy...PERFECT!

Follow this unbeatable plan, and you're sure to have the ideal Thanksgiving!

1 comment:

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