Boobs and Botox

Good ol' Southern California.

If there's one thing you see a lot of down here, it's boobs and botox. Many people are smart about how they go about "enhancing" their size and/or smoothness. Generally, younger people seem to go for the borderline "au naturale" look: pleasantly busty cantaloupes as opposed to state-fair winning watermelons.

Older chicks on the other hand, get downright reckless.

Au naturale is out...they just want to get as boobalicious as possible.

The gym I work out at has a lot of older woman who obviously have a few extra bucks to invest in "personal growth." Now I think it's perfectly fine that some of them want to enhance their looks, but wouldn't you realize if your bra size is two letters passed 'K' that you may have gotten a touch carried away?

One of the ladies I see all the time is an aerobics instructor. Yes, an AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR! It is seriously a feat of epic proportions (and I mean EPIC PROPORTIONS)that she can teach an aerobics class with those things bobbing around. How she manages to stay upright without losing her balance is beyond me. She's pretty small too - like 5'2" but I swear each bazoom-zoom is as big as her head.

Then there's another Brazilian chick with two kids that's in phenominal shape. She has a six-pack, but I can't for the life of me figure out how her abs get any work when she does sit-ups. Her torso moves up like two inches before her Babaloos collide softly with her knees.

These ladies likely know they're not fooling anyone, and probably don't care either.

On the hand, women who get the botox treatment will definitely lie about their age. Most of the time, they can get away with it too...unless they're not wearing a turtleneck and gloves.

When older women get facelifts or botox injections, their necks are always dead giveaways. Sure you have a nice tight, maybe expressionless face, but when your neck looks like a turkey's, you're not fooling anyone. And if she has excellent foresight and gets a "neckjob," the hands reveal all.

There's no escaping!

Exhibit A: Susan Lucci.

And people say I'm unobservant! :)