The Fast and the Ridiculous

I was about to post an article today about the different types of women in the gym, but I think I'll save that juicy little nugget of truth for next week.

Today I'm going to post another article I wrote a few months ago about Sports Cars. So what do I know about sports cars you ask?

Absolutely nothing. I'm no car expert. I'm more of a look, dream of driving, and admire type of guy. BUT, when the request was made for an article about 2009 sports cars, I narrowed down my favorite ones, looked up some stats in Motor trend magazine, threw in some "Arun Flava" and went to town!

The Fast and The Ridiculous: Top 5 2009 Sports Cars
By Arun Srinivasan

Driving up the San Diego coastline this morning, an all too familiar occurrence caught my attention. A glimpse of green in my rear view mirror. The high pitched engine scream. A flash of neon zipping by my left. Ah yes; another Lamborghini.

As much as I love my little Toyota Corolla, I sometimes long for a gas guzzling, speed-limit destroying, hot-chick attracting, sports car (big surprise, I know). But not just any sports car, mind you. Only the best will suffice for I, owner of the best small sedan in the land! So without further ado, I present to you, the top five sports cars of 2009.

5. Maserati GranTurismo
A sports car with more luxury than most “luxury cars.” Despite being longer, wider, and heavier than its closest competitors, the GranTurismo tops them all in handling and luxury while maintaining it’s trademark “giddyup.” They say a car is an embodiment of its driver, in which case the GranTurismo is perfect for me: beautiful, classy, and longer than its peers :)

The coolest part about this car? If/when I get in a high speed pursuit, I can just hit the “sport” button on the dash to increase the throttle responsiveness by twenty percent! They’ll never catch me.

4. Ferrari F430 Scuderia
I don’t think any fan of Magnum P.I. can make a list of top sports cars without including a Ferrari. Turns out “Scuderia” is Italian for “stable.” So how did they make the Scuderia more stable than the old F430? They made it lighter and added more power. I’m not sure how this logic works out, but I like it.

But this particular Ferrari is extra special. It’s particularly catered to Ferrari’s most passionate and sports-car-driving clients (as opposed to the normal, Ferrari clients). This car is a must have starting at only $272,306 (floor mats not included).

3. Aston Martin DBS
I don’t know if there is any better combination of speed, performance, and class than an Aston Martin sports car, and they’ve outdone themselves with the latest DBS. Not only is this the fastest Aston Martin available, but it features improved stability as well as a luxury interior. This baby is meant to move. Even the interior carpet that nestles between your toes is made from ultra light material.

As I was salivating over the specs on motortrend.com, I couldn’t help but get light headed when they described the engine as a “massaged V-12.” I know I perform well after a good massage, and I can only assume high-end engines respond the same. If it’s good enough for James Bond to roll around in, then it’s obviously suitable for me.

2. Lamborghini Gallardo
If you like speed and power, you could just tie up a wagon to 560 horses and crack the whip…or you can get the 2009 Lamborghini Gallardo. If you’re going to get a sports car, you might as well get the fastest and flashiest! This is for those of us who enjoy the feeling of passing out due to extreme G-forces. I suppose 0-60 mph in 3.4 seconds should accomplish that. Unlike last year’s model which topped out at a paltry 194 mph, the 2009 tops the 200 mark with a pedal-to-the-floor 202 mph. And, if you really love that “flying through the air so fast it feels like your face is going to peel off” feeling, it comes in a convertible version as well!

When you throw in the fact that the 2009 Gallardo emits 18% less carbon dioxide and gets 3 more miles to the gallon (for a whopping 17 mpg) than last years model, it just screams “commuter car!”

1. Honda Civic Hybrid
Ok, ok…so I know a Civic isn’t a true sports car, but slap a spoiler on that baby, and dog-gonnit I’m calling it one! With fuel costing as much as it does these days, give me a hybrid car and I’m happy. In 2006, Honda actually presented a concept Civic Sports/Hybrid car, but it is yet to come to fruition. Unfortunately, air cars and hydrogen fuel cell cars are not up for sale yet (plus, I don’t know if they have versions that come with spoilers).

So there you have it. The “who’s who” among 2009 performance vehicles. If you’d like to know more about any of the vehicles above, feel free to donate one to me and I promise to test drive it thoroughly and report back to you assuming I’m still alive and/or not in jail.