Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Arun Versus The Bee

I normally don't like writing posts on small daily activities because I don't want this blog to be like a daily journal or diary, most of which I find incredibly uninteresting. The purpose of this website is to be entertaining while allowing me to share my rants, commentaries, advice, and adventures.

Keeping that in mind, I had no intention of sharing the following story, but after telling this account to a couple of people who found it humorous, I thought I'd go ahead and share. To cover everything, I'll give you a time by time account, and for dramatic effect, I'll tell the story in the third person.


7:30 - Arun comes into office. All is quiet.

7:35 - Arun brews a delicious cup of decaf coffee and sits down at desk ready to work, with earphones streaming The Adam Carolla Show.

7:40 - Arun hears a buzzing and wonders if it's the music in his headphones. Removing headphones he continues to hear an incredibly noisy buzzing. Arun looks up and locates the source. A Bee!

7:43 - Arun tries to work and ignore the bee, but the bee keeps going into the light housing and its wings are beating against the metal causing an incredibly noisy reverberation.

7:45 - Arun twiddles thumbs waiting for the damn bee to hurry up and leave his office. The stupid bee however is content to buzz around the ceiling lights and annoy Arun incessantly.

7:52 - Fed up, Arun stands up and rolls a piece of paper up planning to possibly swat Mr Bee. This turns out to be a bad idea because:
A) The florescent lights have this plastic grid protecting them so its hard to get a clean swipe at the bee.
B) Arun fears missing at a swat attempt and possibly pissing off Mr. Bee, and
C) If Arun goes for an extra aggressive swat with something bigger and heavier, there's a damn good chance that the florescent light will explode in his face. Arun's face is too handsome to risk any remote chance of harm.

As an aside, this Mr. Bee was one smart cookie. It's as if he knew he was taunting me. He would start up his buzzing every few minutes. Just when I thought he was done, he'd start up again. Then he'd poke his little body out, and I'd jump up thinking I could get him, but as soon as I got close, he'd retreat behind the lights.

8:55 - Arun attempts and fails to ignore Mr. Bee and be productive, but Mr. Bee is persistent in his annoyance.

9:10 - Fed up, Arun says allowed, "Fine! You wanna play Bee?!? This is war!"

9:15 - Arun goes around office rounding up a small stash of rubber bands.

9:25 - Arun returns to office with a stash of ammunition and practices aiming and firing at a makeshift bulls eye drawn on his white board.

9:35 - Arun crouches behind office door waiting for Mr. Bee to come out and play. Mr. Bee however seems to know what I'm up to and remains in hiding, still buzzing against the metal.

9:45 - Strategizing, Arun sits at desk with weapons at easy access. To his left are the rubber bands, ready to fire, as well as a notepad for swatting, and a heavy book to finish Mr. Bee off.

10:45 - Arun returns from meeting and notices Mr. Bee is resting on the plastic grid in the lights. Apparently he thought he could rest while I was gone, and now he has his back to me so he has no idea I'm here! This is my chance!

10:46 - Arun grabs handful of bands and commences firing!!!

10:47 - The first two shots are misses. Mr. Bee starts flying frantically in the lights. Arun pulls back for the third shot knowing his window of opportunity is shrinking. Mr Bee will soon go into hiding, and this is his best chance.

10:48 - Arun releases third shot. HIT!!!! Mr. Bee falls to the ground, injured.

At that very moment, I knew it would soon be over. The battle of Man vs. Bee would soon be over.

10:49 - Arun grabs note pad and swats downed Bee. He's still moving! Arun lunges for giant book and throws it down with tremendous force causing a huge sound. It's over.

10:50 - Office neighbors walk over to see what all of the commotion is about. An exhausted Arun explains the epic war that was just fought, and that he was able to successfully defeat the intruders.

10:55 - All is quiet in Arun's Office, and he takes a quick nap to prepare for lunchtime basketball.

What a morning.

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