Bad Education

As much as I know you all enjoy my crazy rants, no, this is not a diatribe on the current state of education in the world. It's the next best thing...an embarassing story about ME!

Well, maybe more peculiar and uncomfortable than actually embarassing.

During college, there used to be this small movie theater near my house in downtown San Luis Obispo called the "Palm Theater." Me and my friend Jeff used to like going there every now and then because that was the only theater in town that showed Independant films.

We had been on a streak of seeing great indi films before this fateful evening...before we were eternally scarred by the realism of cinema, and the assumption of a passerby.

So one evening Jeff calls me up to see if I want to grab some Chop Suey (there was a hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant right next to the theater) and catch a flick at the theater. Jeff's favorite movie is "The Motorcycle Diaries" (an excellent movie) and he noticed there was a new movie playing at the Palm called "Bad Education" starring Gael Garcia Bernal (the lead actor from The Motorcycle Diaries).

He reads the description to me which is verbatim as follows: "Two children, Ignacio and Enrique, know love, the movies, and fear in a religious school at the beginning of the 60's. Father Manolo, director of the school and its professor of literature, is witness to and part of these discoveries. The three are followed through the next few decades, their reunion marking life and death. "

Sounds innocent enough right?

WRONG!

So I went into the movie hearing only this description and knowing the lead actor. We entered a really small theater which can hold maybe 70 or so, and there probably only 5 other people there. We sat down, leaving the comfortable one-seat buffer zone since the theater was relatively empty. There was a girl sitting in front of us by herself, so I started engaging her in conversation before the movie started.

Me: "Hey! So are you also a fan of the Spanish independant flicks?"
Girl: "Yes! And I love the lead actor! He's wonderful, plus he's really hot!"
Me: "Yea we like him too. He was good in Motorcycle Diaries"

Then she starts looking at Jeff and I with this really curious face.

Girl: "Is there any reason you guys have an empty seat between you guys?"
Me: "Uhh...well there's plenty of room in the theater and..."
Girl: "Oh sorry, I was just curious if you guys had a fight or something, and I didn't wanna make things awkward for you two."
Jeff: "What? No. We just had dinner, and its nice to sort of sprawl out after eating"
Girl: "Oh ok. I just thought it was kind of funny for you two to need a seat in between you."

Jeff and I were both confused by what she was talking about, but we just ignored it as the movie started.

It started out innocently enough, but soon things went downhill in a hurry. Next thing I know, there is a man in drag, performing fellatio on some other guy!

Now let me make one thing clear...nothing was explicitly shown beyond two men making out hardcore, but a LOT of disgusting acts were heavily implied.

At first I thought this was an isolated occurence and that the movie would move passed this crazy plot twist.

Nope, the whole plot was the twist. I honestly sat there watching the whole movie waiting for the blatent homosexual imagery and implications to stop, but it never happened!

I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life. What possessed us to stay and sit through the entire movie is beyond me.

Now let me clarify, this was NOT a pornographic film, but damn well could have been for how uncomfortable I was. Just as I thought things were settling down to normalcy, BOOM!...someone cops a feel-up on another guy...BOOM!..someone fantasizes a make-out session...BOOM!...guy dresses up in drag.

When the movie finally ended, I was just sitting there with this shocked look on my face. I turn towards Jeff, and he had the same stupid look. I turned towards the girl, and she had this smirk on her face.

"That was so good! I know you guys must have enjoyed it!"

Neither of us responded. It took us a good ten minutes before the shock of what we had just witnessed wore off.

Then I realized...she totally thought we were gay!

Me: "What the HELL was that!?!"
Jeff: "I don't know! I swear I read the description and it didn't say anything about erotisism!"

I went home and read the description, and sure enough, it was exactly as quoted above. Apparently though, Jeff did manage to miss the NC-17 rating.

To this day, I cringe when I see that movie sitting on the shelf. I have nothing against the aforementioned lifestyle, as long as I don't have to see it "in action."

Gael Garcia Bernal, you're still a good actor...a little TOO good. :)