Arun is Bringing You...Your Daily Remedy

Thursday, August 2, 2007

The Great San Diego Walkoff

Ever since my friend Jeff and a I began our Modeling Careers word has spread pretty fast. Friends are intrigued by our newfound career despite our trying to lead a normal life.

Jeff commonly tries to insite frenzy by flashing his "Blue Steele" look which everyone gets a kick out of. I on the other hand, go for the "au natural" look and play it pretty nonchalant.

Well, recently our friend John had the genius idea of hosting a big "build-your-own-pizza night at his house. The only problem was, despite having lots of food, he was lacking in the entertainment department! Soon rumblings about our model status began making rounds until John finally announced to the world that the entertainment for the night would be a runway Walk-off between yours truly, and Jeff! Thus was born The First Annual "San Diego Walkoff."

Soon after the announcement, I received word from multiple sources that Jeff was talking trash. This was mistake number one, because anyone who knows me, knows about my profound ability to talk trash.

I knew in this case however, it would not be needed, for I would let my performance and dashing looks speak for themselves.

The night arrived, and anticipation was high. Everyone had a belly full of pizza and Jeff and I won the unoffial prize for best pizza of the night. The audience was gathered around the runway as final setup and preparations were being made.

I sensed Jeff's nervousness.

Jeff: "Hey I took Billie Jean off the Music Mix."
Me: (Incredulously) "WHAT!?!" (he knows I love that song, and have been known to bust a move or two to it)
Jeff: "Yea it's not fair! And no doing any of your crazy moves"
Me: "Hey if I can't have my song, I'm definitely stepping up the moves!"

John announced us, Jeff the favorite, and I the challenger. The black lights were blacking, the strobe light strobing, and the music was musicing.

The rules were simple. He would go first, then I would follow with my best effort to duplicate his moves while adding a shimmy or two of my own. Then, in the next round, the order would switch.

My plan worked to perfection! It consisted of professional level moves such as:

1. The "Arun's Too Cool For School Ass-Shake": always a crowd favorite and my personal best move.
2. The "Shoulder Shimmy of Magic": To showcase my shoulder flexibility
3. The "Worm of Wonder": Just to Demonstrate to the crowd that I can get down and dirty.
4. The "Indian Charmer": A wink and blown kiss, just to get the ladies excited.
5. The Fully Dressed "Lap Dance of Flaccidness": A necessary evil to wake the men up
6. The "Splits of Pain": I knew I had to bust out something BIG in the finale. I knew I couldn't do them, or at least do them comfortably, but a model must consider his audience before his own well being. I executed, listened for audience approval, then quickly returned my legs to a less excruciating position.

By the time all five rounds were finished, I was spent. When queeried by John, the Master of Ceremonies, as to who was the winner, they cheered in approval for me.

The Challenger had become Champion.

Jeff was incredulous. I think he is still in denial at the notion of losing the walk-off. I have invited him, along with others to challenge me at the next walk-off. Although I will continue my modeling career, I find myself thinking that I should maybe retire from these "walkoffs."

A man once said: "With great power comes great responsibility." I take this to heart. I should use these devilish good looks and irresistable charm to please the masses, while minimizing bruised egos resulting from these walk-offs.

Then again, winning does feel great!

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