Hard Work is Overrated

I know what you're thinking...

"Arun, despite your devilish good looks, witty personality, and snappy dance moves, you've finally gone off the deep end."

Rest assured, I went off the deep end a long time ago, but I'm happy you appreciate the "ass-shimmy-of-wonder" that I recently added to my dance repertoire.

But to the point at hand, if you give me a few paragraphs, I think I can convince you that the idea of "the harder you work, the bigger the reward" is actually not only counterproductive, it's also flat out wrong (stop shaking your head at me, and keep reading).

Somehow, the idea of hard work has actually become glorified.  A lot of people wear it as a badge of honor.  "I work hard and bust my ass everyday!" While working long, hard hours is admirable to the extent that someone is enduring something difficult to attain something greater, it usually gets a disproportionate amount of credit for success.

The truth is, hard work is one small part of this greater thing that we all want.  Things like timing, luck, talent, and "working smart" play equally huge roles.  And if you work smart, then your odds of hitting the jackpot with timing and luck increase as well.  The thing is, people don't like to acknowledge the timing and luck part of the equation because it deflects the credit of accomplishment away from them.

But if we say, "I made it where I am because of a LOT of hard work" the credit belongs entirely to us which feels good.

There are a lot of blue collar workers out there that work tremendously long, hard, physically, and mentally exhausting hours, that by a lot of people's standards would not be considered "successful."

They're neither wealthy nor happy.

There are people working far harder than us that, through lack of talent, luck, or knowledge, have not been able to escape the grind of life.

Lets look at example of someone....oh, I don't know...ME (shocking, I know).

I would love to sit here and say, "Blog readers of the world!  I am where I am today because I worked harder than anyone else I knew!  Revel in my awesomeness!"

As good as that would feel, it's not the truth.  But you can still free to do some "Arun Reveling."

I am where I am because of some hard work, but really, its the combination of luck & timing, and seizing some fortuitous opportunities.

The truth is, I am NOT a particularly hard worker.  But what I am good at is figuring out what I have to do to deliver results that at least meet, but hopefully exceed expectations.

We tend to admire people who work really hard because we know how difficult it is and how much it sucks to do it.  So, when we finally work hard, we want some doggone recognition!  But is there any worse feeling than busting your ass only to receive NO credit or reward?  It's the reason many people are unhappy with their jobs.  Most people feel like they are under-paid, and under-appreciated at work despite their hard work.

To boot, most of us actually overestimate how hard we're actually working.  Again this is because people usually don't like work, so two hours of working hard, mentally feels like 10 hours of work.

Similarly, it feels amazing when you really work hard and something amazing happens as a result.  I lost a lot of weight when I was younger, and believe me, I busted my soft yet jelly-like booty in the gym so when I finally attained buns of steel (thank you Suzanne Somers Thigh Master), it felt so great that the credit was entirely mine.

BUT, there's the "smart work" aspect too.  I can kill myself in the gym everyday but if I'm eating ice-cream after my workouts, I'm not going to get anywhere.

Then there's the aspects we can't control.  I like playing basketball, but even if I train everyday and work really hard, its pretty unlikely that I'll ever be able to dunk (I've pretty much maximized my "Indian athletic dunking potential" and I can barely touch the rim).

Similarly, I don't care how much weight she loses, how much surgery she gets, or how long she works on her runway walk, Rosie O'Donnell will never be a super model.

But, if I truly I wanted to become a professional basketball player (which despite the way I utterly dominate people at such athletic games as H.O.R.S.E and P.I.G. will still never happen), I might "work smart" and focus on improving my passing and shooting skills, rather than killing myself trying to jump higher (the phrase should be, "White men AND Brown men can't jump").

Ok.  So I think I've made a decent point that hard work does not always result in success or happiness.  I think I've also been fairly convincing that hard work is not the only answer to achieving your goals, because if all you focus on is hard work, you're not utilizing other, more efficient resources to reaching the goal.   Then by the time you get there, you'll be unhappy and overworked which defeats the purpose of even achieving the goal in the first place.

Because the ultimate goal is to feel good, right?

So how do we use all of these other parts of "Arun's success equation of awesomeness" to minimize the amount of needless hard work we're doing?  Well, one thing we all struggle with is the urge to procrastinate.

Cafe Calabria - One of my "office" locations

When I was in business school, people always wondered why the hell I wasn't studying the night before a test or how I wasn't stressing about a deadline for a case study.  It's not that I'm some sort of business savant.

It's that I don't like having to bust my ass and work super hard with deadline ready to smash me in the face (and anyone who knows me, knows how much I treasure my face).  I leisurely studied and finished assignments because I started early and didn't procrastinate.  If there was one piece of advice I'd give to someone in order to avoid working hard, it's to not procrastinate.

Another thing is identifying your talents/interests.  When I was an Engineer, work seemed really hard.  I HATED having to sit down and calculate some weird systems reliability prediction or create a logistics outline. I didn't like it, it didn't come naturally to me, and I never looked forward to work which made even regular work seem like hard work.

An 8 hour day at work consisted of 2 or 3 hours of actual work which felt like 12 hours of work.  It's the reason I would spend hours doing ultra productive things like chasing a bee around the office.

These days, I provide marketing expertise to companies which I find incredibly enjoyable.  I love being creative, developing new ideas, and working with people.  Marketing and working with people is something that comes much more naturally for me which makes it fun to work.  It also means that I don't have to grind on certain problems like I did when I was an engineer because now I'm in a profession that aligns much better with my talents and answers to problems come very quickly and easily to me.

I actually like work and mornings go by super fast.

So it's not that you shouldn't work hard, especially if you're enjoying work.  The point is that hard work is waaay overvalued in terms of the results it delivers, and you shouldn't have to bust ass at something you're not enjoying at the expense of overall well-being.  It defeats the purpose of making life enjoyable.  The journey should be just as enjoyable as the reward, and if it isn't, think about how to get the same results without grinding, and don't feel bad about not killing yourself everyday.

Ok, now stop slacking and get back to work.

Why Your Company is Badly Managing You

Zaytinya - Washington DC with Darren.  FANTASTIC restaurant.

Ok, so your company may not be *badly* mismanaged but in all likelihood, a lot of you will nod your head when you read this thinking, “Gee, that Arun is really on to something!  Aside from being devilishly handsome, fabulously witty, and a great dresser, he really has my company pegged.  I should go show my boss this post so that he can make my work experience really enjoyable!  Arun saves the day again!”

Disclaimer: your boss may be old and stuffy and spit in the face of this article when you show it to him in which case I trust that you’ll defend my honor.

I suppose there’s a possibility that YOU reading this ARE the old stuffy guy (unlikely because most of my readers are young and…uh…flowing (or whatever the opposite of stuffy is)), in which case maybe you should implement my suggestions into your company and put a big poster of my face on the office wall.

So when you think of most companies or jobs, what do you think of?  I’ll help you out here.

• 8 hour days
• 1 hour lunches
• Cubicles/offices
• Endless Meetings
• Dress codes

And I’m sure there are a few others in there.  So how much fun does all of that sound?  If you said, “Gee Arun that sounds swell!  Where do I sign up?!?” well then you my friend are an idiot.

All of these things were a staple of my old engineering office job, and surprise surprise, I hated it.

But the truth is, these things are the main structure of most of my friends’ jobs too, and whether or not they like their job, these restrictions are suffocating. 

I was required to be at work from about 8-5 but frankly, I rarely had 8 hours of work to do.  But, I had to show “face time” by being there for the entire 9 hours, many of which were spent in complete boredom.

Going out to lunch was always a little annoying because by the end, I was always rushing back to work.

Most meetings were a waste of time.  Two hour meetings frequently accomplished nothing and could’ve been productively finished in 30 minutes.

But I tell you this, my brothers and sisters…I have seen the other side, and it is magnificent!

As I mentioned in my last blog post (4 months ago…I know, I know…no more empty promises about frequent posting), I am now an independent marketing consultant.  I have four big clients right now and I work 100% remotely for all four.

My longest client, I’ve had for three years.  In three years, I’ve actually never once met anyone in that company.  We talk on the phone once or twice a week, email everyday, and manage to rake in pretty big money for the company.

So what is so special about these four companies that allows them to succeed without having all of their employees (or consultants in my case) in an office everyday?

Absolutely nothing

The only real difference I can see is that when working remotely, it’s paramount to set frequent milestones to ensure things get done on time.  I basically make weekly AND daily a to-do-for-work list that I update frequently.  Once finished with the days tasks, I relax and have fun.

I’m not going to lie…it’s easy and tempting to put off work when you don’t have Bossy McStufferson looking over your shoulder and are not required to go to a daytime prison with desks to get work done.

But my productivity-per-minute-working is exponentially better now when I work on my terms.  For example, no one can work for four hours straight and maintain optimal productivity for the whole duration.  I generally work in one to two hour increments with frequent breaks.  So throughout a day, I have a lot of “work bursts” that are ultra productive.

I know that it’s easiest for me to get distracted at home, so I make it a routine to go somewhere (usually one of my favorite coffee shops) every morning to sit down and work. 

I tend to bring my laptop a lot of places so that, if I have some down time, I can burst out some work.

And when you have control of your day, then work becomes, dare I say, enjoyable (hence the reason I love Mondays)!

So right now, I’m writing this post from a French bakery in Georgetown, Washington DC (and eating an incredible macaroon I might add – they don’t call me the “Mac-Arun” just because I like the ladies).  Last week, I was in Philadelphia visiting my sister and adorable new nephew, but went to a coffee shop in center city everyday to work and take a lot to take some of the load off of this week for sight-seeing and hanging out.  Tomorrow, I’m heading to New York for a few days before heading back to San Diego.

The train ride will be a great time to work and prepare for meeting a potential new client in New York.

But this isn’t a vacation…it’s a “workation”.  I take some time out of each day to work, yet I still have time to hang out with my friends and sight-see.  Work flexibility allows this type of enjoyment and makes me want to work even harder because I love this lifestyle so much.  I mean, I frequently will work some on the weekends because, for me, there’s really no difference in the day of the week other than the fact that more of my friends are free during the day on Saturday and Sunday.

So contrary to Bossy Mcstufferson’s belief that “employees might go rogue and never work” if given independence, I think they would actually work HARDER because they’re much happier and because they want to keep this independence.  In fact, the friends that I know that DO work from home a lot, are incredibly valuable to their company and really excel more than the average employee.

I frequently ask my friends who work in offices about the possibility of working remotely, and they say that they could, at the very least, work a couple of days per week at home.

How nice would it be to have four days out of the week to sleep in a little extra?  Or not having to worry about rush hour traffic for a couple of extra days?  Maybe run some errands when you don’t have to battle the typical rush hour crowds and thus be able to create MORE time in your day?.  Wouldn’t it make you want to work harder to reward your boss’s trust?

Having now worked independently for almost three years now, I can’t imagine going back to the office life.  

But, I would encourage those of you in the office, to write a proposal to your boss in which you are working remotely for at least one day a week…get your toe in the door first then slowly crank that baby open until you’re going to the office only as much as you have to!  I think Tim Ferriss writes something about this in his book “The Four-Hour Work Week” but I can’t remember exactly what he says.

If he/she approves, then you’re welcome to come with me on my random east coast jaunts or other travel excursions which, this summer will include Cabo San Lucas, Chicago, Austin, San Francisco, England, and Sweden.

It’s not vacation – it’s “workation.”  Luckily for me, all of those places have wireless internet ;)

Why I Love Mondays

Welcome to class boys and girls.

If you're expecting a humorous story about the adventures and embarrassment of yours truly, well, its not going to happen today.  I'm stepping up on my soap-box to deliver a little lecture...

My office for today

I'm going to start today's class with a little math exercise.  It's a word problem so pay careful attention.

If the average person hates Mondays, and the average person works, say 50 years of their life, how many Mondays does that average person hate?

Answer?  2600 Mondays.

Yes, that's right.  The average person will spend slightly over SEVEN YEARS of their life being upset that it's Monday.  And that doesn't even count the Sunday night, pre-Monday grumpiness that sinks in for some people, or the absolute fury that results when you wake up thinking it's Friday but it's only like Tuesday.

Believe me, I know what it's like.

I worked as an Engineer at a whatever company for almost four years, and while didn't really "hate" Mondays, I really really disliked Mondays because it meant waking up earlier than I want, sitting in an office for 9 hours where the most exciting part of the day is discovering donuts in the break room, and missing out on the best part of the day.  

It meant dealing with rush hour traffic twice, running errands after work or on the weekends with every other Tom, Dick, and Harry, and finally settling in for the night knowing that I have to do this four more times before weekend freedom.

So how in the name of Moses is it that I LIKE Mondays?

Well, it's actually pretty simple.  I LIKE work.  In fact on the weekend, I frequently find myself looking FORWARD to Monday.

I know what you're thinking.  "Arun, you've finally gone off the deep end.  Despite your incredibly witty writing, and charming exterior, you've finally cracked.  But it's good to see that they are allowing you to blog from the loony-bin."

I appreciate your concern for my mental health, but I assure you, I'm not entirely crazy. 

Don't get me wrong, I love weekends.  All my friends are more available to hang out, everyone's in a great mood, and there's just more happening in general.  But, because of all this, I get very little work done between Friday afternoon and Sunday night.

There's something about knowing everyone is out and about having fun that makes it impossible to work on the weekend.  When I worked as an Engineer, I remember all of my friends having Martin Luther King Day off, and me having to work.  Just knowing that they were out and about while I was stuck at work made that day absolutely miserable.

Conversely, when I took like a Wednesday afternoon off to go to the dentist or something, it was an amazing feeling to be out and about doing things knowing that everyone else was stuck in the office.  Mooohahaha!

So these days come Monday, I'm excited to wake up and start working.  I have so many projects going on right now that there is never a shortage of things to for me to work on (one reason I post so infrequently here).  I'm so excited about all of these things that time flies and before I know it, its the weekend again (I'm sick, I know).

I know what you're thinking.  "Well gee Arun, that's real peachy that your Monday's are so great!  In fact, my Monday is already turning around knowing that you're so happy!  Hooray!"

Ok, I sense the sarcasm.  

But here's the deal.  I can't reveal some kind of secret that you don't know about that is causing you to not like Mondays.  It's all pretty obvious stuff.  I think most people would agree that their are two or three main things that need to happen to make everyone enjoy Monday's.  Sorry to disappoint.

What I can do is hopefully motivate you to do the right things to feel the joy of an upcoming Monday.  Maybe, if you're someone who hates Monday's, this will give you a kick in the ass to start making a change.  So here's the not-to-magic formula:

1. Love what you do.  (Thank you captain obvious!!) - but seriously, most people do not love what they do, but settle for the job they are in without taking an active role in pursuing alternatives. If you are serious about loving Monday's then you need to spend time EVERYDAY doing something to make that happen.  Whether it's searching for a new job, making a little progress (however small) on your business idea, or taking college classes, you need to do something everyday, even if its something as small as applying to ONE job, or reading ONE chapter of a study guide, or sending ONE email to a potential business partner.  Keeping the momentum going will keep you moving towards loving what you do.  DON'T SETTLE FOR SIMPLE BEING 'OK' WITH WHAT YOU DO!
   
   Although I love Mondays, I also want more.  For example, I want to make a lot more money.  So I work EVERYDAY at becoming a better affiliate marketer.  I work EVERYDAY at the business idea I've been developing.  I also want to do a PhD so I've been working EVERYDAY to become a better PhD candidate
   
   When I realized I didn't want to be an engineer anymore, I worked everyday after work on my ebook, The Social Charmer.
2. Find job independence.  Entrepreneurs work their asses off, frequently putting in tons of hours everyday - but it's all on their own terms.  You can work for your dream company doing exactly what you love, but still be miserable if you have someone breathing down your throat all the time or frequently cracking the whip.  BUT, when you have a high degree of control over your job and can avoid micromanagement, you become so much happier.
   
   Maybe you had a long week and want to take a half day Friday?  Maybe you stayed up too late on Sunday and want to sleep in on Monday before working.  You should have control over that.  Some people simply work better at night.
   
   I for example never set my alarm to wake up.  I happen to be a morning person so I wake up right around 7:30am everyday anyways, but its such a good feeling to not have an alarm blaring in your ear every morning, but rather comfortably waking up nice and rested and ready to be productive.  Similarly, I don't watch the clock when I go to lunch.  I go, I eat, and when I'm sufficiently satisfied, I get back to work.  I also sometimes will work at 8 or 9 at night if I feel like I have a lot of things to get done.  The bottom line is, because it's all on my terms, it doesn't really feel like work.
   
   Luckily, a lot of progressive companies like the Googles and Qualcomms of the world have adopted this structure of employee autonomy which actually makes it easier for more people to love Mondays.
3. Accomplishment needs reward.  People need to feel a sense of reward, either intrinsic or extrinsic, in order to feel satisfied with work. In my case, the rewards are monetary rewards (basically how I survive), progress towards creating something big (like a new company in my case), and improvement at things I'm working on (online affiliate marketing and studying for PhD entrance exam).
   
   You could be at your dream company but if they never give you a raise or recognize your achievements, you'll quickly fall out of love with your work.  Alternatively, you could be building a company, but if in a year you've made no tangible progress, you're motivation for work will die.  Reward is necessary.

That's it!  I work everyday towards gaining more of these things. I'm fortunate to have accomplished SOME of these things which is why I love Mondays, but the pursuit of MORE is equally exciting.  A lot of people have grandiose visions of starting a company, changing careers, or finding a job, but never actually start actively pursuing those dreams.  They put them off until a year, two, or five have passed and they're in the same place.

I don't want to be that person which is why I try do make progress every single day.  

That concludes today's lecture.  I think you know what your homework is.  Class dismissed.  Feel free to bring me an apple to next class. 

The Three Date First Date

And as promised, today we get to the entertaining and unconventional story of a first date I went on with a girl I was dating earlier this year.  As you'll find out, her nickname, "Giggles" is very "a propos."

But lets be honest...this is me.  Did you expect anything less than entertaining and unconventional??

Now most guys might give you the "Joe Cool" version of how things went down where they are a totally confident charmer who plays everything perfectly and the girl falls totally all over him.

But that's not entertaining in the least.  OBVIOUSLY I'm confident and smooth, but anyone would be lying if they didn't tell you they have insecure and dorky concerns running through there head on a daily basis. I prefer to reveal all of the hidden dorkiness in its full hilarity.

So we agreed to meet at a "trendy" bar/restaurant in La Jolla.  Now normally, I prefer to do "first dates" in areas I'm more familiar with (ie closer to my house), because then we can "discover" some charming hidden spot and I appear like a cultured hero.

Since I've lived in La Jolla though, its changed so damn much that I only know a couple of neat places.  I had heard this place called Barfly was pretty hip, so I thought I'd try my luck with Giggles.

As I'm driving over, Giggles informs me she's going to be a little late at which point I walk down from my parking spot and take the picture you see above...I live in a terrible city, I know.

I walk over to the restaurant to see what this hip & trendy spot will have in store for us, and am a little shocked as I walk in...

Completely. Empty.

And when I say "completely empty," I mean that there's not a damn person in the place and a waitress across the way is hanging out in the kitchen and chatting with the cook because she obviously has nothing else to do.

Arun - Strike 1.

I walk back out in mini-panic.  I chose the place. Now I look like a schmuck who doesn't know how to pick decent, let alone trendy places.  I run through the options in my mind and I see Giggles coming around the corner.

More Panic.

My eyes dart around for immediate options in view:

Candy Store - too casual.
Massage Place - too weird.
Smash Burger - Too gassy.

The options had dried up and Giggles had arrived! So I said the first thing that came to mind:

"Your in luck...I decided to rent the place out for just us!"

Luckily, I'm quick with the jokes.

So we sit down and the waitress comes over to take our drink orders:

Me: "I'll take a Mojito!"
Giggles: "I'll have a Ginger Ale...I don't really drink"

For those of you who are quick - YES, I planned a date, at a bar, with a girl who (it turns out) doesn't drink.

Strike 2.

In another bout of amazing preparation, I had been drinking a lot of water and coffee that day which resulted in the explosive urge to urinate literally every 30 minutes throughout the evening.

We stay for maybe an hour (during which I make two trips to the restroom) and actually have a really good time at which point we both start getting hungry. In my amazing planning, I neglected to look at the quality of the menu which as it turns out, is astonishingly mediocre.

Strike 3.

I suggest a Thai restaurant I know and we walk over - date #2.  On the walk over, we pass a cute old couple undoubtedly wrapping up their own date night (it was like 7 o'clock which is well-passed old-person bed time).

This is perfect.  Old people and I have a mutual adoration from each other.  I always get along with them and engage them, and they always tell me how great I'd be for their grand daughters.  We chatted for a bit as we walked, by the end of which the Grandma had said I was a "VERY nice boy," the two of us were a "very nice looking couple," and "don't stay out too late!".

Apparently, Grandma was my wingman for the night.

We get to the restaurant and after another trip to the restroom, we mull over menu options.  If there's any menu I know, it's Thai food.  So, I suggest two awesome dishes - one rice dish, and another noodle dish.

Giggles: "Actually, I don't really eat rice and noodles"

Strike 4 Arun.

We end up ordering two amazing non-rice, non-noodle dishes.  Now anyone who knows me, knows I absolutely LOVE dessert.  So I start chatting about the most amazing carrot cake I've ever had.  Surprisingly, Giggles is adamant that we have it TONIGHT, so after another trip for bladder relief, we drive over to the carrot cake restaurant - date #3.

This restaurant is actually a really nice place.  It's late at this point, with not many people left.  We sit by the bar as a piano player performs jazzy tunes and order the carrot cake...along with two cocktails.

Yes...Giggles is now having a drink for the second time ever in her life.  Either she's having a good time, or she's drowning the pain of an evening with "4-strikes, No-Bladder, Arun".

We enjoy our dessert and cocktails...but there's a slight problem.  The drink she ordered is not good, and nearly undrinkable.  We power through half of it, but neither of us are the type to send something back.  The waitress however was super attentive, noticed we were struggling, and insisted on remaking the drink.

Giggles started drinking the new drink, but the waitress sensed it was still unsatisfactory.  We insisted on keeping the drink, but she would not relent and made yet another completely different drink.

Giggles found this delicious.

We finished our drinks, and by now we're the only people left.  I visit my favorite room one more time for lower abdominal relief, and Giggles and I walk outside.

Now if you've ever wondered what happens to someone who doesn't drink when she drinks two fairly potent cocktails...read on.

Now normally I'm pretty funny, but all of sudden as we're walking outside, Giggles is laughing at everything I say.  When I nicknamed her "Giggles," she was double over in stitches. At first I figured that I was just on an incredible roll of hilarity, but when I noticed her balance a little off, I realized what had happened.

Yes, Giggles was drunk.

Arun - Strike 5 (or possibly Giggles - strike 1?)

I'll spare you from any mushy end-of-date details, but I took her home, reassured her that she did nothing foolish (preserving others egos are situations where I feel its ok to lie a bit), and date #4 was scheduled for the next day.

Somehow, 5 strikes and a bladder with the control of a 97 year old woman did not dissuade her from me.

Apparently, she's more into bowlers than baseball players.

The First Date Setup

I promised in the last post that I would share the story of meeting and subsequently dating a girl I was seeing earlier this year because its kind of an interesting story.  It's also very typically "me" in the way things panned out.

This story has two parts:  The first date setup, and the actual date which are each funny in their own right.  Today is all about the meeting and setup.

For the sake of keeping *some* discretion for others, I'll just use one of her favorite nicknames to refer to her in this post - "Giggles" (ok, maybe not really...she said it sounds silly, hence I will continue calling her that in this blog, and everywhere else).  This nickname will make sense by the end of the second part.

It all started one warm, sunny San Diego morning in January (I love the weather here).  As a designated "ambassador" for my business school, I was supposed to go to this "mixer" where prospective students would be asking questions and mingling with current students.

Naturally, I forgot.

I did eventually arrive (an hour late...oops) and b-lined it straight for the food table (surprise of the century, I know).

Me being me, I started joking around with and generally harassing the fellow ambassadors around me.  I turn towards the window and see this really cute prospective student (and YES, she was a girl) leaning back with six current (male) students surrounding her itching to impress.

Yes, it was a shark tank and there was a nice juicy (and I do mean JUICY) piece of Palestinian meat that the sharks were circling.

Ahh the power of an attractive woman.

Now the average Joe might walk away and wait for the men to disperse or for her to have a free moment.  But this is me.  I am neither average nor rational.  Reckless abandon with no regard for personal ego is more my style.

Then, I see her and another current student looking deeply into each others eyes. Again, the average Joe may sulk away in defeat here...but this was too good for me to pass up. Plus I've seen this move before.

"Oh. My. God!...either you've already fallen in love, or he's showing you his 'Look I have different colored eyes' thing"

Giggles: "haha, he DOES have different colored eyes!...Look!"

Ok, ok...in her defense, the different colored eyes thing is quite a trip, and I have previously spent a good 30 seconds gazing deeply into his delicate yet supple eyes, but I digress.

I pirouetted my way into the group and she and I talked for a few minutes (about what, I don't remember, but she was laughing a lot so I imagine I was obviously quite charming ) but she soon left to go sit in on some classes.

I honestly thought I'd probably never see her again, but I told the admissions ladies that I we should really heavily recruit her since she's a stellar candidate and if need be, I will take her out...only for recruitment purposes of course (common people I'm a professional!).

For some reason, they rolled their eyes and shook their heads...apparently this isn't their typical recruitment strategy.

Later that afternoon, I was in the study lounge working away when a friend mentioned to me that there was a really cute girl sitting at the restaurant right around the corner.

Could this be the same girl?  Either way, cute girls are good and I was due for a little break anyways so I left to find out...but I never made it.

As I was walking over to the restaurant, I spot Giggles in the distance on her phone. By a stroke of amazing luck, two of my school friends happened to be chatting about 20 feet in front of where Giggles was, so I stopped to chat hoping I could buy enough time until she's off the phone.

Had my friends not been their, I have no idea what I would've done while she was on the phone...

Stop and tie and re-tie my shoe 17 times while waiting for her to get off the phone?

Hide around the corner of the building waiting like a lion to pounce as soon as the conversation is finished?

Do a solo Mexican Cha-Cha followed by the Tush-Push to get her so confused that she wraps up her call just to watch the spectacle?

Luckily, I didn't have to execute any of my well-thought-out back-up plans.

Giggles wrapped up and coincidentally, I abruptly ended the conversation with my friends just after she got off the phone.

We started chatting again and I knew it was "on" when she followed me to the little corner store so I could buy a snack before class.

In my mind I fist pumped and did one of those jumping heel click things.  On the surface I was as smooth and cool as always (which is obviously SUPER smooth, and SUPER cool).

You can see from the picture on the left that my double heel click form is immaculate.

As a "business school ambassador" I offered to exchange numbers with her to *cough* answer any questions *cough* and possibly hang out since she's relatively new to San Diego.

Yes, I know, I am an amazing Ambassador who goes beyond the call of duty just to service my community...and I'm devilishly handsome to boot!

I was out of town the following weekend, but I when I got back, I texted her to meet up for a happy hour.

She replied:

"My cousin is in town for the weekend...can we all do something together?"

Now I don't know about you, but these are not exactly the magic words I want to here when I want to go out with a cute girl...now I have to charm not only her but her cousin too?!?  This was not ideal, but luckily I read this book once called The Social Charmer that explains everything about being charming ;)

A day or so passes and the night before our little group meetup, I get this text from Giggles: "This just in: my cousin went back to LA tonight"

You know those times when you're really excited but you have to stifle it in order to look cool?  Well this was one of those times.  I'm smiling and fist pumping at the fact that now we can go out, just the two of us while at the same time texting:

"Ah too bad, it would've been nice to meet him"

No I'm not above stiffling my inner dork on occasion to look cool...even I have moments of weakness.

The day arrived of our little date and....well you'll just have to wait for the next post to hear about it.

Stay tuned.

And for those of you who happened to find this page looking for advice on setting up the first date, please don't follow anything that I've done...well, except for the Mexican Cha Cha and Tush Push - that move never fails to get the ladies.

Friends in Unusual Places

One of the running themes of this blog is that great things happen when you strive to be as social as you possibly can.

One such example of this is if you happen to look at some of my close friends.

A good chunk of them are people I met the way most people meet people...through other friends, through school, through work etc. Nothing too exciting there.

BUT, a lot of people that are a major part of my life are people I've met very serendipitously.

For example, the girl I'm dating, I literally just happened to bump into on campus. This is actually such an entertaining story that I'm going to save it for a blog post on its own soon.

But lets look at some other examples: Take Josie & Laura - two close friends of mine.

I've only known them for about a year, but it feels like forever.

About a year ago, me and my newish friend Mikey happened to stop by a place near my house called Wine Steals to grab a glass of wine. Two attractive ladies were sitting at the table next to us and as I recall, we struck up a conversation about the proximity of the heat lamp (not interesting on the surface, but if you throw a little goofiness in, and a little "Arun Factor" any conversation is interesting ;).

It was about 8:00 when we started talking to them - fast forward to 5am and we're leaving Josie's house having drank more than one glass of wine, break danced at the club next door, sang "Under the Boardwalk" on the street with two homeless guys Vince & Darryl, went for late night pizza, and played charades at Josie's.

Fast forward a year, and they are two of my best friends...all because Mikey and I happened to stop in at Wine Steals and happened to strike up a conversation.

Serendipity


Ok, to be honest, I'm not really sure if I believe in Serendipity because we can only look at the people we've met and have no knowledge of the people we haven't met.


But this is the exact reason I think it's so important to strive to meet people and get to know them...you never know what impact they can have on your life.


This is one of the reason's I'm such a "yes man".  I'm always scared that I'm going to miss out on some opportunity to do something awesome, have an adventure, or meet someone amazing by succumbing to the laziness of simply staying at home.


Now I understand not everyone feeds off of social energy the way I do, and most people probably need more alone time than me, but I would argue that in general, the more people there are in the word that care about you, the better off, and the happier you are.


Afterall, we are designed to be social beings (and some of us are designed to be amazingly handsome, charming, witty social beings :)


Aaand look at that...two posts in a row!  I told you I'm back!

The Resurrection of Your Daily Remedy!

Good Lord it's been a long time since I've posted!

Yes, I know I have a knack for stating the obvious.

So where the hell have I been?

Well, this year has been a whirlwind of activity...business school, internet marketing, scheming for world domination, girls, teaching, and my usual antics and adventures have moved to the forefront.

The lack of recent blogging has been partially due to lack of time, but if I'm being honest, more lack of motivation.

Don't get me wrong....I LOVE writing...especially writing about ME! But, I also like writing good quality posts that, while involving me heavily, also give you value either through something I've learned, something super interesting, or shear humor and laughter.

One of the things that's kind of upsetting is how my lack of posting has buried this in the heeps of websites on the internets.

THIS POST used to rank number 1 in Google for the search term "being social"...now it's no where to be found.

Since I wrote that post five years ago as well as my ebook, I actually have sooooo much more to share on the subject of being socially savvy and socially aware.

Anyways, the point of today's post is to simply say: I'm still alive (you can all come out of depression now), AND I'm really going to make a concerted effort to start posting again (let the masses rejoice!).

The nice thing about not posting for so long is that I have a nice build up of funny stories.

The picture in the post is actually from Easter Sunday last week...that's a story in itself which I will be sure to post soon.

In the mean time, hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and hide ya husband, because I'M BACK!

Ninja Time Management

So I've been recently trying to refrain from too many boring personal blog posts about this and that. In the early days, I was much more liberal with what I was blogging about (hence I was able to set a sizzling pace of 3 posts per week)!

Now a days, I only like to write GOLD! (obviously, this means all recent and forthcoming posts will be awesome).

That being said, I'm currently in the midst of the busiest time of my life.

I know what you're thinking: "Oh common ARUN! I know you! You're extremely handsome, you love going out, partying, writing blogs about how you are soooooo awesome, and general adventuring! You expect me to buy into all this 'busy-ness'??"

Well you are correct in your evaluation of me, but yes, I do expect you to believe me. In fact, everytime I get great ideas recently, I never have the energy/time to sit down and write out a quality post.

These things usually go through a couple of editing iterations before I'm happy enough to post.

In fact, as I'm typing this right now, I am taking a break from an absolutely insane schedule today. I just got off of a 1.5 hour conference call and needed to do something for myself (and your self) so here it is!

Truth be told, I'm kind of a time management ninja. You know I can't post without giving myself at least one pat on the back.

People never seem to understand how I have time to hang out and do fun things with the amount on my plate. I am involved in FAR more things than anybody I know. Here's a sample:

• I'm enrolled as a full-time MBA student - I NEVER miss class.
• I'm a teaching assistant for 1st year MBA classes
• I'm the event chair for the San Diego Downtown Relay for Life
• I work "full time" in internet marketing
• I'm involved in a consulting project with a company making recommendations to improve their customer relations
• I am doing a social media research project with food trucks in San Diego that is essentially like another job
• I am a Rady School of Management Ambassador

These are all things that I categorize under "work." Of course, I probably have twice as many things I would categorize as "play".

The key to ninja time management is efficiency: I am probably 90% efficient on a day-to-day basis. What I mean is, I spend 90% of my time doing things that are either essential, or really fulfilling.

For example, writing this post would count as efficient. Surfing Facebook - not efficient.

School work, internet marketing, networking events, working out = efficient

Watching TV, puttering around = not efficient

Reading books, hanging out with friends doing fun stuff, playing sports = efficient.

Lengthy recreational phone conversations, internet chatting = not efficient.

Basically, I waste VERY little of my days. I would actually say that the average person is maybe 60% efficient but thinks they are 90% efficient.

I see it all the times. People go through the motions and think they're getting things done, but there is no output to show for it.

I know people who get together to study for HOURS but very little gets done.

Not my style.

I mean, I'm all for hanging out with people, but lets actually hang out. Doing so under the guise of "studying" makes both processes mediocre.

I'm serious when I say I think people I know in my position would have a panic attack.

Honestly, even I have moments where I'll feel totally overwhelmed. But that feeling is only fleeting and after taking a minute to organize things in my mind, its gone.

So that's what is up. Expect some really good posts coming up though. I've got a sort of break coming up so they'll be some hilarious stuff coming your way.

Thanks for your patience!

Wedding Do's and Don'ts

I'll be the first to admit weddings are fun.

Who doesn't like a big party with food, cake, booze, and old people getting drunk and dancing their little tushies off?

I've been to several weddings in my time, and have partaken in a myriad of different styles. From the short and quick ceremonies, to the long and sleep inducing. From Christian, to Catholic, to Hindu. Indoor, outdoor, from California to Alaska.

Now I'm not getting married ANY time soon, but I've definitely learned a little bit about what to do, and not to do in wedding execution.

DO...

have a nice quick wedding ceremony so that the real reason we're all here (the reception) can start.

DON'T...

Allow the ceremony to extend beyond say 15 minutes.

First of all, weddings are usually in the summertime.

Summer = hot.

Now I'm no mathematician, but it seems to me, if you multiply the above equation with the coefficient of typical wedding attire, you end up with an answer that equals sweaty discomfort.

I've been to a couple of outdoor weddings where I'm sweating my well-dressed ass off waiting for the damn "I do's" so we can get in the shade. I'm adhering to dress code wearing my pressed suit jacket that somehow is not available with Nike moisture wicking technology. But when we finally get in the shade, the well-insulated suit jacket has got to stay on because pit stains are not exactly the "I'm single and awesome" statement I'm looking to make.

I know what you're thinking..."Arun you poor adorable thing! BUT, what if the wedding is indoors?"

Keep. It. Short.

Have you ever sat on one of those church benches for more then 5 minutes? As far as asses go, mine is decently meaty (although some might say "steel-like"), but even my booty starts going numb after sitting on that thing for more than a few minutes.

But this summer I was thrown a curve ball - an indoor wedding, not at a Church, seated in folding chairs, with ice-cream served during the ceremony.

Too good to be true, I know. So what was the catch?

Well, it was an Indian wedding....and the ceremony lasted over two hours.

OVER TWO HOURS!

Indian weddings are cool and all, but the novelty of the ceremony wore off on me after the first 15 minutes (by which point I was finished with my ice-cream). Ok, back to the Do's.

DO...

Get a minister who knows exactly what you want and what they are doing.

DON'T

Allow the minister to forget to tell the wedding goers to "please be seated" after the bride gets to the alter.

This was a first for me. I was at a wedding last week, and after the bride made it to the alter, the ministress (what do you call a female minister?) FORGOT to tell the 170 in attendance to "be seated." So we're ALL standing during the whole damn ceremony....outdoors....in the heat.

To boot, I meticulously directed chair setup the previous night to get everything lined up and staggered just right so everyone could see while seated.

Thanks to our absent minded ministress, the girls 5 rows back saw nothing but the backsides of the amazingly well-dressed and devlishly good-looking 6+ foot men in row 3 (Did I mention I was in row 3?).

DO...

Hire a DJ with a good, diverse music collection that knows you by name.

DON'T

Hire the cousin of a friend of a friend whose entire music catalogue consists of Country's Greatest Hits and a few select disco numbers on his computer.

The wedding last week had another issue.

First, the DJ couldn't pronounce the Groom's (and new bride's) last name properly. It's a pretty simple name ("Haupt" pronounced like "Howp") yet he repeatedly announced "Please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Hopt!!!"

Ok, ok...honest mistake, he's a DJ not a linguist, so just play us some hits.

Or Not.

It's a wedding. I'm not expecting much more than some current hits as well as the old wedding favorites. I thoroughly warmed up my shoulders the night before for a little "YMCA" action, and I dusted off my dancing shoes for some Electric Sliding.

Disappointment.

Instead, we got steady dose of Miley Cirus, and Cool and the Gang. Somehow, audience response wasn't quite as excited as usual when I busted out "The Worm of Wonder" during Miley Cirus' "The Climb".

DO...

Have an organized parking situation for guests.

DON'T...

Ask your brother to round up his friends to shotgun valet.

A few years ago, my buddy Jesse asked a few of us to valet for his sister's wedding. Ok no problem. I'm a good driver. I can parallel park. How hard can it be?

(Note to self: Anytime you think to yourself "how hard can it be?" its going to SUCK)

First, the wedding was at this house on top of a HUGE hill. They had the good sense to have it indoors because it was so damn hot, but we had to park each car in a dirt lot at the bottom of the hill and then sprint back up to the top as the queue of cars was growing.

Did I mention I was wearing a suit and tie...and it was hot....and it was a MAJOR hill?

So we managed to kill ourselves running up and down this hill and got all the cars finally parked. Aaaaaahhhh, re-lax-ation!...until the guests started to leave.

Four guys. We have neither ANY valet experience, nor are we organized. We have a drawer full of keys, and a dirt lot at the bottom of Mount-effing-Vesuvius full of cars. And now its dark and, of course, the lot isn't lighted.

Obviously a plan for success.

The process consisted of this:

• Guest who is ready to leave asks for car. (So far so good. We are awesome!)
• We jointly rummage through a drawer full of tangled keys to find the right one.
• Its dark though so at least two cell phones are needed for light to identify one key from another.
• Once key is found, one of us sprints down the mountain to retrieve car.
• Arun eats sh!t on one such downhill dash through uneven terrain and dirties suit. Ego is preserved though because it's dark and no one sees.
• We run back and forth through the dirt lot hitting the remote lock/unlock (and occasionally alarm) button to find the right car in the pitch black dark.
• Guest wonders why he hears his car alarm in the distance.
• Arun returns with car and guests ask why suit had become muddy and wrinkled. Ego destroyed.

And Lastly....

DO...

Act like you're involved (if you're a man) in the wedding planning and give opinions on things.

DON'T...

EVER make ANY decision without consulting the bride-to-be or say something ambivalent like "you pick what you like best!" if you want to live to enjoy your wedding.

I've seen many a good man go down for these over the years. It's a delicate balance. You need to "act" involved and provide an opinion that you should be ready to change depending on the bride's reaction.

Even though she's making the decisions, you've got to make her feel like its a joint effort.

And of course, if you try and make a decision on your own, you shouldn't be getting married in the first place because you obviously have no idea what you're doing. Murphy's Law necessitates that you WILL make the wrong decision and into the dog-house you go.

So I think its fairly obvious that I now know how to perfectly plan a wedding. I've always thought it'd be cool to be one of those wedding planners running around with the headset, barking out orders.

If you're interested in hiring me now as a "Wedding Consultant of Awesomeness" feel free to contact me. As for valeting, me and my friends will be no where near that department.

Bachelors, Bachelorettes, and Arun

Last week was an entirely new experience for me.

So a couple of months ago, my friend Liberty invited me to a fundraiser for the Challenged Athletes Foundation here in San Diego. As you know, I'm all about participating in charitable events and was all set to participate, until I found out the catch.

It was a bachelor / bachelorette auction!

Ok, ok...so this sounds like the perfect Arun-esque adventure right? I mean, what better use of a the face of an angel and a chisled body forged by the hands of God himself, than to raise money for a charity?

(and when I say "chisled body" I'm not referring to the "loose muscle" surrounding my midsection)

Honestly, my hesitation had more to do with the fact that I had a feeling that the bidders would be old, aging women. In other words, I thought I'd be getting sold to uglies.

Material and artificial of me, I know, but at least I'm honest about it.

But alas, Liberty needed another person, so I relented. Hey, it's for the kids!

So when I arrive, I'm actually pleasantly surprised. Not only is everyone fairly youngish and good-looking, but there's a TON of food, and all the bachelors and bachelorettes are treated to an open bar.

Now HERE's a party I can get on board with.

So towards the beginning of the evening, people are a little gun shy about bidding. It's kind of a silent auction and our pictures are framed and placed on different tables (the picture in this post is the one they framed of me) and there's a bidding sheet and date description next to them. I start talking to a girl who is 25 and VERY attractive. Turns out she's actually one of the bachelorettes. We're chatting for a while and she comes up with a brilliant idea:

Hot Bachelorette Chick (hereon referred to as 'HBC'): "I've got a great idea to get this started!"

Me: "Oh yea what's that?"

HBC: "How about we each put $100 bids on each other. That way, its high enough where we'll raise serious money if someone actually outbids us."

Me: "Ok, sure"

I'm acting all nonchalant and cavalier about everything, but on the inside I'm thinking "Score! I may end up going out TWICE with this hot chick!"

Yes, even I can be an insecure goober sometimes.

So people start bidding and she ends up going for like $400 bucks. There's no way I'm spending that kind of change on anyone for a single date. Interestingly, for me, there ends up being a little bidding war between HBC, and a mystery lady.

BUT, in the end, the mystery lady wins over HBC. Unfortunate, considering HBC was probably the best looking girl in attendance.

When the dust finally settles, I meet this mystery lady...

She's probably like 10 years older than me. Of COURSE the cougar with money outbids the hot 25 year old.

I still haven't gone out with her, but now I'm getting nervous...she shelled out $200 for me, and who knows what she's expecting!

But there were a couple of other surprises too.

One of the other Bachelors was actually a soap opera star (Alex Musser) who played some guy named "Del Henry" on All My Children for a couple of years - he only went for I think $20 more than me, so the natural conclusion is that I should be starring on TV too.

At one point, I also was introduced to this good looking couple. They had weird names, and I joked that we should start a club of people with weird names ("Arun" isn't exactly run-of-the-mill in San Diego).

So I'm hanging out with this couple by the stage when Liberty announces that she wants to introduce the celebrities in attendance. I turn and semi-joke to the couple, "Step aside guys, I'm about to get my big introduction!"

They smile.

As Liberty continues to talk, I'm actually wondering who she's going to introduce. I turn to the couple and ask sincerely, "WHO the heck are these celebrities she's talking about?!"

They smile.

Liberty: "Please welcome to the stage, from ABC's The Bachelore, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor Pad, Kiptyn Locke and Tenley Molzahn!"

I'm standing their bewildered with egg on my face as said couple strolls onto stage.

Oops.

Apparently, they were on all of those "Bachelor" reality shows and happen to be friends with my friend Liberty. Who knew? I've never seen the show (ok, ok...I may have watched ONE episode last season).

BUT, after chatting with Kiptyn and Tenley, I kind of want to try out! First of all, Tenley is good-looking, and apparently so are all of the girls on the show. Second, although I lack the huge muscles and 8 pack that all the guys sport on the show, I make up for it with quick wit and charm.

Not to mention, I think my antics and knack for innocently stirring the pot would make for good TV.

Watch out America...Arun may be joining "The Bachelor"???

Lateral Meniscectomy and Microfracture - The Road to Recovery

I know what you're thinking.

"Ok, Arun. I get it. You had knee surgery. But what's with all the jargon? What makes you think I have any idea what the thread title is even talking about!?!"

And you're right. A few months ago, I wouldn't have been interested either. BUT, I decided to deviate from my usual extremely witty commentaries and crazy adventures because, before I had this procedure, I was scouring the internet for Partial Lateral Meniscectomy and Microfracture info, and its a bit hard to find, and the treatment and recovery is all over the board.

So, now, when people search, with any luck they'll find a couple of posts by yours truly, and maybe have a couple of questions answered (and obviously discover the most amazing collection of witty writing ever amassed, by "His Humbleness"...ME).

So here's the how it went down.

Several months ago, I had an MRI revealing a partially torn lateral meniscus and lateral articular cartilage damage in my right knee. That didn't sound good, so I went to an orthopedist.

The first doc revealed I would probably need microfracture surgery which, for those of you who aren't familiar with it, is a relatively new-ish surgery in which holes are drilled into the bone such that stem-cell-containing bone marrow bleeds out into the area devoid of cartilage. The stem cells stimulate new cartilage growth, and in a few months, you're theoretically back in action.

There are a couple of caveats though: for starters, the surgery is not 100% effective and there's about 20% of people for whom cartilage regrowth doesn't happen.

Bummer.

Second, a number of professional athletes have never totally gotten back to their pre-surgery all-star form (ie Tracy McGrady and Chris Webber). This bummed me out until I realized A) Those guys are slightly better at basketball than me anyways, B) I'm exactly known for my extreme jumping abilities and C) If I return at Tracy McGrady or Chris Webber's basketball form, I will be 100 times better at basketball than I've ever been.

The biggest bummer of them all though is the recovery time she told me about: six weeks on crutches, no driving, physical therapy for 3 months thereafter.

There goes Arun's summer of awesomeness.

So I did what any sensible person who doesn't care for the prognosis does - I got a second and third opinion and elected to do the surgery with the last guy.

Here's where things get interesting. The last two orthopedists work together in the same practice and have a LOT of experience. They also proceed with recovery much more aggressively than most orthopedists as their experience shows identical post - op results while minimizing patient inconvenience.

So here's my recovery:

Procedure: Partial Lateral Meniscectomy and Femoral Microfracture

Post Op Days 1 - 10: Crutches and non weight bearing. On day 5, I started daily stationary bike with no resistance. Off of pain meds by Day 3 (and probably could have been a day sooner).

Day 10: Full weight bearing allowed while wearing brace. Physical Therapy begins.

Day 12: By now, my limp is pretty much gone and I'm walking without the brace with minimal discomfort.

So here I am now at day 22. My knee is certainly not normal yet, but there's definite improvement. Walking is for the most part, pain free. Occasional dull ache is the knee at both meniscus sight and microfracture sight (though not necessarily at the same time). I've started some light elliptical training and physical therapy is slowing escalating in impact.

Overall, I think I'm definitely headed in the right direction and am well ahead of schedule. Now I won't be running or playing sports for another couple of months, but hopefully I've provided some of you with some positive feedback and information if you're about to get microfracture.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming...

The Gift of Walking

It's interesting how taking the ability to do something that we do everyday makes you realize how important that ability is.

And no, I'm not talking about the ability to look at yourself in the mirror.

I'm talking about the "gift" of being able to walk...unassisted.

Last week I had knee surgery, and for the last two weeks I've been crutching around town. Along with the knee surgery came some other unforeseen minor complications:

1. Since the surgery was on my right knee, and since the doctors orders were to basically not do anything with that leg, I haven't been alowed to drive. Boom - Independence gone.
   
   
2. The main problem with crutches is that walking just a couple of blocks can be exhausting, so travelling long distances on foot (and by "foot," I mean literally ONE foot) is not an option
   
   
3. A further complication with crutches is that your ability to hold anything while standing is gone. Just to get a bowl of cereal means I have to grab the bowl, set it on the counter, shimmy to the left, stop and move the bowl to the left, shimmy again, move the bowl, etc...until I get to the edge of the kitchen and within plopping distance of the couch where I can sit down and reach the bowl. Going to the kitchen to get food is such a pain that I've opted to just skip my normal snacking (probably good since my normal activity level is way down).
   
   
4. The first 3 nights after the surgery, I had to sleep with this huge knee immobilizer brace thing on my leg which was heavy, uncomfortable, and hot.

Luckily, I'm now 10 days removed from the surgery and have gotten clearance to start walking again.

(In my best Braveheart voice) Freeeeeeeeeeeedooooooooome!!!

I will say this though...the crutches also had an unforeseen BENEFIT.

On Saturday, I went out for about an hour and a half for a friends birthday, and I tell you this: I was approached by four different women within an hour who were offering me their seat, asking me if I was alright, and generally showering me with attention and I was literally doing NOTHING.

Huh...maybe I should go back to the Doc and see if I can keep the crutches for another couple of weeks?

The attention however was unfortunately not just limited to those carrying x-chromosomes. I had a small encounter later that evening. I was hanging out with some friends at a lounge when a HUGE dude (I'm talkin like 6'8", muscles ripping out of his shirt, Jamaican dude) comes up to me. The encounter went like this:

Big Muscle Dude: "Hey Dude. I don't know where you're from, but you're F**kin Beautiful!"

Me: "Uhh....thanks man, I appreciate that"

BMD: "My name's Abdule. What's your name and where you from?!"

Me: "I'm Arun. My family's from India"

BMD: "Mmm Mmm Mmm! Beautiful name, country, AND body. What's it gonna take for you to let me buy you a drink?"

Me: "I appreciate the offer man, but I'm with some friends and I'm straight"

BMD: "Oh ok man, but if you change your mind, I'll be here and you won't have to buy another drink tonight."

Yikes!

I mean, I suppose its flattering. This type of thing has happened before, and I always try to be nice, but on this occasion I made sure to be particularly cordial because BMD aka Abdule could have kicked (or taken) my ass if he wanted! With my limited mobility, escape would have been impossible!

Oh, those crutches. Attention grabbing would be an understatement.

Finding Your Dream Job

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly ultra-qualified to speak on the various aspects of different job industry's, functions, and finding work. I've had a total of three "real" jobs my entire life, along with whatever you would call what I do now.

But I will say this.

There's a common theme for most people who enjoy what they do, and it's probably the most important thing for me when it comes to enjoying what I do.

It's a huge reason I left Engineering.

It's the reason that I have the entrepreneurial bug (in addition to the fact that I want to be disgustingly rich).

And a lot of people who have it (in combination with success) are happy.

Job autonomy.

There's nothing better than feeling no personal obligation to have to be somewhere everyday. It's why most people with office jobs dislike what they do.

The minute you are granted freedom (providing you also bring success) things turn the corner.

One of the things I've been studying recently is the science of creativity and motivation. Studies upon studies have shown that intrinsic motivation and creativity are notably higher in a person when he has a high degree of autonomy.

Take Google for example. A lot of there employees work long hours. BUT guess what? None of them are constrained by the "8-5" model of working. Come in and perform quality work, hours be damned.

In fact, Google asks each employee to spend 20% of their work time working on "pet projects" of their own. Essentially, Google is giving their employees free reign to be mini-entrepreneurs within Google. In return, Google has earned billions of dollars from some of these ideas (and I'm sure the idea generators were appropriately rewarded as well).

Why every company doesn't attempt to operate at the highest level of personal autonomy possible, I'm not sure. Given, not every company can have their employees working from home everyday (ie, I'm not sure how the barista at Cafe 976 where I am right now would be able to provide me service from home), but they should try to maximize autonomy and creative freedom as much as possible.

Both the employees and the company benefit.

So a lot of people think they are doomed because they chose the wrong industry. But I actually think a lot of that "doom" could be turned around if they were able to find a job in the same industry, but with a high degree of personal freedom.

Lets look at me. I'll admit, I really don't have any substantial interest in engineering - hence the career change. BUT, looking back, I imagine that if I had worked at a company in which I felt a high degree of intrinsic motivation and enjoyed autonomy close to what I have now, I would have been far less motivated to change careers.

But I learned my lesson.

I don't think I'll ever be happy working an office job. That's simply no longer an option for me. I suppose it might be OK if it was MY office, but that I would mean I'm the CEO and thus have the ultimate authority on me and my work.

And I'll admit that there are a lot of people who go to an office and love what they do. But guess what? I bet they have a lot of control and responsibility when it comes to making decisions. They have a high degree of autonomy hence they love going to work.

Now I'm not trying to associate job autonomy with working less. It just means that you can work when and where you want. In fact, I work practically every day. I have deadlines that I need to meet, and meetings to "attend" (usually teleconferences) and I schedule accordingly. I frequently even work on Saturdays.

BUT, I also know that I can work whenever and where ever I want. Today, I'm at a coffee shop near the beach. If I don't want to work tomorrow, then maybe I'll hunker down for a couple of hours tonight, and do some more work.

Flexibility = Happy Arun.

The job market is tough right now, but do yourself a favor. If you don't have a job and are looking, then sure take whatever you can get. But just because you have a job, doesn't mean you should stop looking. Unless your really, REALLY happy, look for an opportunity where they trust you to be responsible for your work and your productivity, and where you don't need to put in the 8-5 office "face time."

And think about starting a business. Not every idea is capitally intensive to start. If you're risk averse, or simply don't have the means to invest heavily, there are still tons of ideas out there for the taking.

How much did Facebook take to start?

I was working as an Engineer when I developed and launched my ebook. Now, at this point, its nearly enough income to sustain me, but it's something, and it brought me a lot of opportunities.

More importantly, if you do have an amazing idea and are too scared or do not want to be bothered with bringing it to market, send it to me. I'll use it on my way to World Domination ;)

How Starting a Blog Changed My Life

It's funny how one crazy little thing can snowball into a life-changing monster.

Take this blog for example. The decision to start writing a blog literally changed my life in some pretty big and awesome ways. But it all started very innocently. In the beginning I had no idea what was ahead...

It all started way back around 2006. I had moved to San Diego and was working at a (what I thought was) comfortable job. At said job, I had entirely not enough do, so I had some free time to do some internet cruising. At the time, I was relatively unaware of the existence of blogs. I knew a couple of people who had online journals, but those were boring and packed with mundane and trivial details of days activities that I didn't care about.

Somehow I stumbled onto a blog that was called at the time "Better Than Your Boyfriend."

Hmmm...a name I can relate with.

It was chalk full of wild and crazy stories of this guy Tynan who tried to buy a penguin and created an indoor swimming pool for it, moved to Hollywood on a whim to become a pickup artist, built a swing hanging off the balcony of his highrise condo, and climbed radio towers for fun.

Huh....Here's a guy who's adventures border on lunacy. Sounds like me (only not quite as devilishly good looking and charming ;)

One day I stumbled across a post in which Tynan mentioned monetizing his blog and making money.

Dollar signs in my eyes. At the time, since I had just started working a job in which I actually made somewhat serious money, I was reading all about finance and two words resounded with me:

Passive Income. Money coming in without doing anything in particular. Obviously this sounded like an unbelievably awesome plan.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how many adventures, stories, and rants I had to write about. Furthermore, I thought about how awesome I think I am and "why the heck wouldn't the whole world want to read about me!?"

Ok. So. Maybe I got a smidgen carried away.

But I started Your Daily Remedy. Your Daily Remedy was a way for me to tell stories, give advice that my friends didn't want to always here, and rant about things on a whim. My audience grew, and my writing improved. Everything was hunky-dory except for one little detail.

I wasn't making any money.

At the point I realized I wasn't really making much, I was already in love with writing so I didn't really care too much. However, I really wanted to expand on my audience.

So, I submitted expanded versions of this post as well as this post to a couple of local magazines here in San Diego. Low and behold, they got published.

Woot! A new career as a writer!???

Well, not exactly. You see, it turns out, writers do not get paid nearly enough. For the amount of time I was spending thinking up unique article slants and trying to make things perfect, the money was not exactly changing my tax bracket.

Then, I began noticing something. A post I wrote, The Power of Being Social, was blowing up. In fact, if you type the search terms "being social" in google, my post is actually the number one result.

This got the "Arun Brain Gears of Awesome Ideas" turning. A growing innovation on the internet was the idea of downloadable books - ebooks. Since being extremely social is something I know a lot about, why don't I just write about it?

Rule number 63 in "Arun's Guide to Lifetime Awesomeness": ALWAYS pursue ideas that seem awesome.

At the time when I made the decision to go full steam ahead, I really knew nothing about what I was doing. But, I figured I could either toil for a long time trying to figure out the best way to go forward, or I could go full steam ahead and figure things out as I go.

I chose the latter. And thus was born my ebook, The Social Charmer.

Now I will admit, because of my eagerness, I did a LOT of things wrong in publishing it. I've since fixed some of those things, but I still have quite a few things to improve on / add this summer that will improve the whole experience for customers and newsletter subscribers (I've been ridiculously bad about publishing newsletters) as well as increase my income.

So here I am, its 2009 and I'm working as an Engineer, writing a blog, writing for magazines, and getting some (kind of) passive income from an ebook all because I decided to start a blog three years before.

But I wasn't finished.

Soon thereafter a guy named Gabriel Angelo contacted me about doing an interview on being social for his customers. His website "The Social Natural, by the way has a lot great resources for becoming more social. I'm not exactly sure what happened to the interview but I believe he distributed it to his customers.

Then, in early 2010 I exchanged a few emails with a VERY well known guy in the "Pickup/Dating Community" who was interested in someone with my experiences of being social, writing, and internet marketing.

One thing lead to another and all of a sudden I became the marketing manager for his company. The best part was that I was working from home, whenever/where ever I wanted.

Now it was around February 2010, and I was making enough money where I could quit Engineering forever! Not only that, but as long as I am working remotely, why confine myself to San Diego? Why not Palm Springs, or Alaska, or France, or China, or Australia?

Suffice it to say, I went to all of those places over the summer, all the while "working."

Then it was time to start my MBA program. For me, this was the next logical step in my path to World Domination. Plus, I needed to get some more tools to feed my inner entrepreneur. The funny thing is, in all of my interviews, people were extremely intrigued with my whole story.

From Manager to Engineer to Blogger to Writer to book publisher to Internet Marketer and all of my other adventures in between.

I really can't imagine where I'd be write now had I not started this blog, but I can't imagine that I'd be in a better position than I am now. I never imagined things would happen as they did, but with a little ambition, a few crazy ideas, and some social savvy anyone can go far.

So in case you haven't done this already, your homework assignment is to start a blog (or, if you'd prefer, the "Arun Fanclub of Awesomeness Homepage").