The Game-Killer

Many of us have heard about them, and a few of us are unlucky enough to meet them. I am one of the few.

The "Game-Killer" title must be used very carefully when applying it to a person. Only those possessing vast powers of "negative game" qualify for the Game-Killer title. So what is negative game? Allow me to briefly define these vital levels of game:

The Zero (he who has "no game") - This is the guy who goes out and doesn't talk to anybody. He is crippled by shyness, and essentially does nothing to affect the surrounding environment that would either help your game (reel the chics in) or kill your game (drive them away!). He is a non-factor.

The Gamer (he who has "positive game") - This is the guy you ideally would like to hang out with. He's super social, talks to everybody, and basically brings the party to you! Hanging out with this guy is always an experience and you end up meeting tons of people!

The Lost Cause (he who has "negative game") - You DO NOT want to hang out with this guy. He has an inherent quality of repulsiveness that drives the ladies (and the guys for that matter) away. This comes in various shapes and forms, from the "sleezy" type, to the nerd-balls who won't shut up about their new computer at work or their last game of "Dungeons and Dragons."

The Gamekiller. (he who has God-like abilities of feminine repulsion the likes of which few have yet to encounter) Now to be classified as a game-killer, one must have a special talent, part genetic, part idiotic for killing the game of those in his immediate environment. Actually, it goes beyond immediate environment. By simply admitting you KNOW the Gamekiller people are turned off by your association even if he's not there!

Not too long ago, I had the misfortune of meeting a Gamekiller.

This guy, who we'll call "GK," was a friend of a friend. After realizing his status as an elite negative gamer, I consulted my friend and expressed my concern. Luckily, ties are being cut from the Game-Killer as we speak.

Yes, this man almost single-handedly killed "Sunday Funday" a couple of weeks ago.

So a couple of weeks ago, Bryan decides to invite GK out with us to Sunday Funday. I'm don't know this guy really aside from briefly meeting him once, so I'm pretty indifferent. All I really know is that he's kind of "hickish" and has one of his front teeth missing.

Immediately after showing up, he starts annoying Brian and I by incessantly complaining about the whole five blocks we have to walk to Lahaina's bar on the beach. Little did I know, this was just the start. To spare you the painful details, let me summarize GK's gamekilling moves of the day.

-I invite a number of different groups of people to "share" our table (ie set their pitchers down on our table while we all hang out). Every group that comes up, GK starts trying to barter with them so he can have some of their beer for "allowing" them to use our table. At least two groups get fed up and leave.

-He claims to have no money and beats around buying any pitchers for the three of us, so Brian and I have to constantly leave and get another one while GK is left to wreak havoc on the groups we've invited over while drinking the beer we've bought.

-After I lightly chew him out for bugging everyone for beer, he finally buys a pitcher from the cute waitress but doesn't tip her, so we never see her again.

-We meet this group from Canada who's pretty friendly but he keeps pestering them with ridiculous questions like: "what's the money like there?" "What do you say differently there?" "Is the food different?" "Why do you say 'eh'?" Dude, it's freaking Canada, not Abu Dabi!!! No wonder they were getting irritated!!! It's on the same level as when people find out I'm from Alaska and they ask, "Is it cold up there?"

-At another bar, he again does not tip the bartender. One girl sees this and gives our group (which had grown by this point) an awkward look. I then notice he didn't tip and call the bartender over so that I can at least tip him.

Yes friends, he was a bonified Game-Killer. It took our combined powers of Game to defeat him and make Sunday Funday another success, but it was a close call!

For the sake of humanity, I ask each of you to truthfully evaluate yourself, and at all costs, prevent being the Game-Killer. After probably the quickest deliberation in the history of deliberations, we all decided GK was guilty and is no longer coming to Sunday Funday...well at least not with our group.

I know none of MY readers could possibly be Game-Killers, but that doesn't mean you won't encounter one someday. Just remember to continually improve your game, so that on the fateful day you may be in a Game-Killer's presence, you have the tools to overcome and defeat him! Good luck.