The Feminization of Arun?

Jeez I hope not.

I consider my myself kind of an all-around guy. Not too fruity or metro sexual, but not exactly the alpha-male, Man's Man either. I work-out and keep myself well groomed for the most part (although some would argue that the "longish" hair that I'm rocking right now is a little out of control), but I don't spend any real money on grooming.

I received an interesting offer this weekend.

My friend Renata tells me that a good friend of hers is finishing up cosmetology school and they really need male "models" to work on, since pretty much the only people that come in are female.

Me: "Haha! There's no way I'm paying the ludicrous prices that these places charge for any type of cosmetology service!"
Renata: "Oh but it's FREE!"
Me: "Tell me more."

Don't we all love the magical word of "Free!"

So I was honestly still pretty skeptical since sitting in some chair for an hour while someone is dolling me up doesn't sound too appealing. But then she said the other magic word.

Renata: "A big part of this also involves a MASSAGE"
Me: "Sign me up!"

She signed me up and told me it was basically some kind of "facial" where they exfoliate and moisturize my skin and then give a massage for the rest of the time. It's free because it's a student (Renata's friend) doing it, and they really need guys.

I was all excited to be signed up for a free massage until she dropped this bomb on me.

Renata: "Oh yea, the facial might also involve a little eyebrow waxing..."

Ok, if there's any word that defeats "free" and "massage," it's definitely "waxing."

Me: "What!?! Uhhh, I don't think this is happening."
Renata: "Well I already signed you up. But there's one more thing I forgot to mention....."
Me: "One more thing? What?!"
Renata: "Well they kind of need the male models to also be prepared to get a male bikini wax"
Me: "WHAT!!!!??? NO WAY! GET ME OUT OF THIS!"
Renata: (Laughing at my incredulous oration on why no rational man should ever even consider getting waxed in "the sacred area of good stuff."

The next day, I did some research on the Internet to see what men had to say about bikini waxing. Here are some direct quotes:

"Any man who doesn't pop at least 4 Advil before getting a wax job, may not make it out alive. The tenderness does eventually subside and I feel silky smooth."

"After icing my 'area' for a couple of days after, the product looked great!"

These testimonials weren't exactly convincing. After some debate, I finally convinced Renata to let me talk to Heloisa (the friend performing the procedure) so that I may put my negotiating skills to work. After some time and a few jokes, I finally made it clear that I would do this providing no wax even come near me.

So I went in and had an incredibly relaxing massage, and yes, a facial. I have to admit, I did enjoy it. It was actually really relaxing, and I told them that I'd be willing to return any time they need male models provided waxing is not so much as even mentioned.

I don't know how you ladies do the waxing thing, but I will never be feminized enough to do it!

Arun Versus The Bee

I normally don't like writing posts on small daily activities because I don't want this blog to be like a daily journal or diary, most of which I find incredibly uninteresting. The purpose of this website is to be entertaining while allowing me to share my rants, commentaries, advice, and adventures.

Keeping that in mind, I had no intention of sharing the following story, but after telling this account to a couple of people who found it humorous, I thought I'd go ahead and share. To cover everything, I'll give you a time by time account, and for dramatic effect, I'll tell the story in the third person.

Tuesday

7:30 - Arun comes into office. All is quiet.

7:35 - Arun brews a delicious cup of decaf coffee and sits down at desk ready to work, with earphones streaming The Adam Carolla Show.

7:40 - Arun hears a buzzing and wonders if it's the music in his headphones. Removing headphones he continues to hear an incredibly noisy buzzing. Arun looks up and locates the source. A Bee!

7:43 - Arun tries to work and ignore the bee, but the bee keeps going into the light housing and its wings are beating against the metal causing an incredibly noisy reverberation.

7:45 - Arun twiddles thumbs waiting for the damn bee to hurry up and leave his office. The stupid bee however is content to buzz around the ceiling lights and annoy Arun incessantly.

7:52 - Fed up, Arun stands up and rolls a piece of paper up planning to possibly swat Mr Bee. This turns out to be a bad idea because:
A) The florescent lights have this plastic grid protecting them so its hard to get a clean swipe at the bee.
B) Arun fears missing at a swat attempt and possibly pissing off Mr. Bee, and
C) If Arun goes for an extra aggressive swat with something bigger and heavier, there's a damn good chance that the florescent light will explode in his face. Arun's face is too handsome to risk any remote chance of harm.

As an aside, this Mr. Bee was one smart cookie. It's as if he knew he was taunting me. He would start up his buzzing every few minutes. Just when I thought he was done, he'd start up again. Then he'd poke his little body out, and I'd jump up thinking I could get him, but as soon as I got close, he'd retreat behind the lights.

8:55 - Arun attempts and fails to ignore Mr. Bee and be productive, but Mr. Bee is persistent in his annoyance.

9:10 - Fed up, Arun says allowed, "Fine! You wanna play Bee?!? This is war!"

9:15 - Arun goes around office rounding up a small stash of rubber bands.

9:25 - Arun returns to office with a stash of ammunition and practices aiming and firing at a makeshift bulls eye drawn on his white board.

9:35 - Arun crouches behind office door waiting for Mr. Bee to come out and play. Mr. Bee however seems to know what I'm up to and remains in hiding, still buzzing against the metal.

9:45 - Strategizing, Arun sits at desk with weapons at easy access. To his left are the rubber bands, ready to fire, as well as a notepad for swatting, and a heavy book to finish Mr. Bee off.

10:45 - Arun returns from meeting and notices Mr. Bee is resting on the plastic grid in the lights. Apparently he thought he could rest while I was gone, and now he has his back to me so he has no idea I'm here! This is my chance!

10:46 - Arun grabs handful of bands and commences firing!!!

10:47 - The first two shots are misses. Mr. Bee starts flying frantically in the lights. Arun pulls back for the third shot knowing his window of opportunity is shrinking. Mr Bee will soon go into hiding, and this is his best chance.

10:48 - Arun releases third shot. HIT!!!! Mr. Bee falls to the ground, injured.

At that very moment, I knew it would soon be over. The battle of Man vs. Bee would soon be over.

10:49 - Arun grabs note pad and swats downed Bee. He's still moving! Arun lunges for giant book and throws it down with tremendous force causing a huge sound. It's over.

10:50 - Office neighbors walk over to see what all of the commotion is about. An exhausted Arun explains the epic war that was just fought, and that he was able to successfully defeat the intruders.

10:55 - All is quiet in Arun's Office, and he takes a quick nap to prepare for lunchtime basketball.

What a morning.

Four Exercises Every Guy Should Avoid

I'll be the first to admit that today's "Remedy" is completely superficial, but the fact of the matter is, most people, despite our convictions, are swayed by certain superficial things.

Like it or not, we all judge a book, at least partially, by its cover.

One of the places where people congregate to improve their "cover" is the gym. Sure a lot of people (including me) exercise to be healthy, but seriously, how many of us would bust our backsides everyday in the gym if it didn't contribute to our physical appearance? I know my motivation would go down (but luckily I'm genetically blessed devilish good looks :)

Oh but looks aren't the only first impression we make on people! Actions are just as important! Think about it. Suppose you see a good-looking guy doing ballet. Odds are he's either gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) or a fruit (yes there is something wrong with that).

Yes I'm making gross generalizations, but this is my blog and damnit I want to unfairly generalize people today!

Keeping these aforementioned observations in mind, I would like to save any of you men out there from looking like a fruit at the gym. Nobody respects a fruit, and I don't want any of my readers to ever accidentally enter "Fruit Zone."

Before I get to the actual exercises you should avoid, let me add this disclaimer: you can avoid every exercise on this list, but nothing can save you from fruit status if you're wearing extremely short and tight shorts.

My God those things are terrible. There's nothing that screams "Tooty Too Fruity" more than those oversized speedos.

Now, the moment you've been waiting for. Four exercises any self-respecting, female desiring, and yes, somewhat superficial Man should avoid.

1. The High Speed Elliptical: Notice the words "high speed." I actually think that the elliptical is a great machine and use it on occasion because its easy on the joints (and if I do it, by definition it cannot be fruity). The problem arises if you try to run on that thing. Trust me. Going any faster than 5 mph makes any man look like a prancing gazelle. Put some resistance on the thing for God's sake!

Look around, and you'll see a lot of women flying on that thing! That's great for them, but I would rather avoid looking like a prancing gazelle. (As a side note, wasn't there an infomercial once for an elliptical machine called the Gazelle? I seem to remember a muscle-bound guy who was the epitome of a fruit which further supports my case!)

2. The Fancy-"Nancy" Stairmaster. Again, another machine I like because it really kicks your ass. I'm not talking about the one where you shuffle your feet really fast, but rather the one with the rotating stairs that you actually step on.

When on the stairmaster, face forward, and step all you want to your heart's content. Never, ever follow any of the routines you might catch a chick at the gym doing on those things! I don't know where they get these moves, but on any given stairmaster, there's a girl who does it like sideways, and then does a slow kick thing behind them on each step, and finally follows that by skipping steps, kicking the hind leg out while giving a hip shimmy.

Honestly, do I need to explain why no man should do this?

3. Aerobics class. Sure we all fantasize about being the guy in the "Call on Me" Music Video (see below), but that will never happen.

To put it simply, sideways cha-cha's, hip thrusts, and arm curls with no weights do not make a guy look flattering. And no, doing an aerobics class to meet chicks is not an acceptable excuse. If that's your intent, it likely totally transparent, and if it's not, then you're a fruit! Cut and dry.

4. Hip Abductor/Adductor. No man should ever be caught on this machine! In case you're not familiar with machine, it basically consists of sitting down with pads around your legs, then squeezing your thighs together and apart. Here is the Hip Adductor in Action

In case you haven't noticed, everyone of these exercises is extremely effeminate. A fruit, according to the Urban Dictionary can be defined as: "He's not exactly gay, but just womanly enough to be gay."

Next time you go to work out, remember to keep these exercises out of your routine. And if you happen to see a man performing any of these activities, don't laugh. Just take a mental picture of the fruit you could have been, and relish in your extreme Manlihood!

Elevator Etiquette

We're in them almost everyday. There just another part, another room of the building, yet for some reason we all feel the need to change our behavior when we enter the elevator!

Look around next time you enter an occupied or crowded elevator and you'll notice some interesting peculiarities.

Most people enter the elevator and generally saddle up next to one of the railings while staring straight ahead saying absolutely nothing.

Rule number 1 in "Unspoken Elevator Etiquette": Enter, remain absolutely silent, and look at nobody!

I always enjoy the people who are fascinated with the elevator inspection sign. They just stand there staring at it, yet if you were to ask them what they just read, they'd have no idea. It kind of serves as a "target" for people to stare at and pretend to be reading, thus avoiding any "elevator conversation" which we all know is taboo!

Honestly, when I enter the elevator, I do have a couple of small things I do to. I used to always check and see if it was equipped with that little phone behind a door. I always felt more comfortable knowing I had some sort of communication with the outside world, just in case the elevator gets stuck (this was before the age of cell phones).

Sometimes when I'm in a crowded elevator, I casually glance at the max weight sign, then take a guess as to how much load the elevator is carrying. Inevitably, Fatty McFatterson steps on to the elevator at the next floor at which point I start worrying just a tad...especially when you feel the elevator bounce a little everytime it stops!

There's also the issue of holding the elevator door. Its funny how everybody has their own "point of no stoppage" when it comes to holding the elevator door as it starts closing. Some people absolutely refuse to stick an arm out if the door starts closing at all while others will go all the way until you can only fit a finger in to get the door to reopen!

I'm somewhere in between. Even though I know the elevator door isn't going to crush my hand, instinctively its hard to throw an arm in there as the jaws are collapsing!

And now for an interesting elevator story:

In high school, I used to work at a local fitness club as a tennis instructor. When the normal court maintenance guy was gone, I would clean the courts and refill the big water coolers on each court.

Now this was no simple chore because these coolers were pretty big and generally at least half full of water and ice when I had to change them. To compound matters, the cafeteria where we went to replenish the water was upstairs, so carrying each of the coolers up individually would require a mountain of effort which I wasn't willing to give.

To solve this problem, the cafeteria let us use their cart/dolly type thing, if you could call it that. It was basically a rickety board on four multi directional wheels (like on the front of a shopping cart) with a handle that came up to waste height.

It was always an adventure getting the coolers from the tennis courts to the cafeteria. I'd load two or three of these things onto the cart and make my way down the hall and into the elevator.

Brilliantly, the elevator opens up on the second floor directly onto the running track. In order to get to the cafeteria from the elevator, you have to cross this busy track.

Oh but I'm not done!

The track was also elevated about an inch from the ground, so to get over the track, I have to move the cart to the back of the elevator, and gather some speed to get over the hump and onto the track, then maintain this speed to get off the track on the other end.

Brilliant design Mr. Architect.

Theorem 781 in "Arun's Guide to Lifetime Awesomeness" states: big water watercoolers + rickety old cart + highspeed bumps = bad news.

So one sunny Saturday, I'm making my way from the cafeteria back to the elevator with three coolers full of water. Crossing the track from the cafe to the elevator is made tougher because, pushing the cart, you can't see around the entry wall for oncoming traffic, so you have to just kind of go, and hope.

So, as usual, I gather speed and push the cart over the bump onto the track. Suddenly, I notice a runner in my path so I stop abruptly to let him pass.

I stopped. The Cart stopped. The Giant Water Coolers kept going.

It was like slow motion. They hit the track, and for an instant, they just layed there. All was safe?...I'm not that lucky. The lids simultaneously popped off from the impact and the water pressure. The running track became a slip n' slide.

Oh but I'm not done.

This spillage occured right in front of the elevator which happened to be right at the corner of the track where it banks for runners. What this means, is all of the water was draining into the elevator shaft!

Did I mention the brilliance of the architects?

I, slightly panicked, first wanted to get the cart and water coolers off of the track. I threw everything in the elevator and went down to unload them and grab towels. The elevator door opened and the only thing I could see was a waterfall in front of me from all the water flowing down the shaft. Once I made it under the water fall, I was greeted by a thoroughly pissed janitorial and maintenance crew.

Management wasn't too happy with me that day. The elevator was "out of order" for the next few days. which meant the normal tennis court maintenance guy had to carry each cooler up the stairs for the rest of the week to fill them.

At least I saved him the trouble of having to observe "Elevator Etiquette."

The Art of Forgetting

This may be hard to believe (I didn't believe it at first either) but it turns out that I do have a slight weakness. I'm a tad forgetful.

As painful an admission as this is, I've been known to forget a few dates here and there, and regretfully, it happened again this weekend.

I woke up Sunday morning nice and refreshed, ready for another fun day, completely oblivious to the fact that it was Mother's Day! Now I knew the entire week that it was coming up, but on the day itself, I had completely forgotten until my Mom called me.

The bad part is, I didn't even remember until a couple of minutes into the conversation. I was wondering why she sounded a little funny on the other end of the line, then it hit me. "Happy Mother's Day Mom!" Nope, it was too late and blatantly obvious that I had forgotten.

Suffice to say, I felt really bad. My poor Mom was waiting for my call. To compound the guilt, we don't live in the same state so my Mom got none of the pampering a great Mom deserves on Mother's day.

Luckily, I was able to talk myself out of any extreme trouble. How was I able to do this? Well, first, I was really sincerely sorry about forgetting and have promised to make it up for my Mom. Second, I brought up my exemplary track record of forgetfulness when it comes to remembering occasions on the exact date.

I always know the dates of things like Birthday's or Mother's day, but on the actual date, I have a habit of forgetting. I forgot my Dad's birthday last year, and my sister's a couple before that.

I know what you're thinking. "Arun, your despicable! Your Mom has made so many sacrifices for you, and you can't even remember ONE special day! I'm shocked at your thoughtlessness!" Believe you me, I feel REALLY bad, but my Mom forgave me so you can too.

In fact, I received TWO solid tongue lashings from friends on Saturday when I mentioned I forgot. It turns out girls do not like it when guys forget special dates. Big surprise eh? My friend Renata layed into me right after I got off the phone with my Mom. Later on, I mentioned my little flub to Mariana who also gave me a solid scolding.

Luckily, balance has been restored to Arun's World, and all has returned to normal.

On a related and somewhat cute note (yes, I just used the word "cute," but I promise, I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that)), I saw a funny little interaction between a Mom and her older (mid 20's) son yesterday. I was walking down the street and this cute little Mom was holding some daiseys as she and her son were parting ways after brunch.

Mom: "Bye Sweety!"
Son: "Bye Mom."
Mom: "Careful crossing the street!"
Son: (slightly annoyed) "Ok Mom."
Mom: (now calling from about 100 feet away) "I Love You!"
Son: (slightly embarrassed and very quietly) "Ok Mom."
Mom: (apparently not hearing his response and calling louder) "I LOVE YOU SWEETY!"
Son: (really embarrassed and annoyed) "OK Mom!"
Me to the Mom: "Happy Mothers Day!"

It's funny how, no matter how old you are, Mom's are always Mom's. You can be Joe Toughguy at 30 years old, but your Mom won't hesitate to give you a tongue lashing for not cleaning your room or yelling "I love you sweety pie!" across the intersection in public.

If I so much as cough into the phone, my Mom will start pressuring me to take cold medication and go see the doctor. Then, I'll get frequent "check up" calls to make sure I'm feeling alright.

I suppose that's why we love our Mom's so much.

Routine Your Way to Awesome Living

You never thought "routine" could be used as a verb did you? Well, one of my talents happens to be misusing the English language to create new word uses that are somewhat understandable.

So what am I talking about?

Rule number 135 in "Arun's Guide to Lifetime Awesomeness," - establishing a good routine is essential for maximizing fun-time. AND, postulate number 42 states "Lifetime Awesomeness is directly proportional to quantity of fun-time," so there's mathematical sense behind this.

Well, me being one not to argue with my own science, on almost all weekdays I am very routine. I get up at the same time every morning, do the same stuff to get ready, and go to work. At work, I generally eat and workout at the same time as well.

Sounds pretty mundane, eh? In fact, so many people resist the temptation to have a routine because they feel like everyday will be the same and life will be boring! On the contrary, having a routine actually creates more time to be spontaneous and "live life awesomely" (and if you haven't guessed, that is a running theme with me).

Not convinced yet, are you? Allow me to expound. The greatest thing about having a routine is that high priority activities are built into your day and you are able to get these done extremely efficiently while still having time to do whatever you want to.

For example. Exercise is a priority for me everyday, and its built into my Monday through Friday schedule. At lunch, I play basketball or go running, and after work, I go to the gym to lift weights. Skipping is not an option. Exercise is a "built in" part of my day, just as eating lunch and going to work are. The beauty is, it's not a nuissance that I have to plan around since its already in my schedule as a requisite activity and placed at such a time, that it gets done as efficiently as possible.

Think about it. You take a shower everyday, and most people do it in the morning right after they wake up, or in the evening before bed. But what if you decided that showering was not a priority (in which case you would no longer be welcome in my immediate proximity) and decided you'd just do it if you "have time" or "get a chance." Well, first of all, it would be a pain to have to go out of your way in the middle of the day or whenever, to go take a shower, and second, it would hardly ever get done!

Part of the reason so many people don't regularly exercise is because they don't incorporate it into their routine! When I exercise after work, I go straight to the gym to save time, and avoid any dilly dallying that would happen if I stopped home first.

When I do get home, I now have the whole evening free to do whatever I want without having to plan around anything!

I also need to make time to write this blog. Many times, this is right before bed (and a little during a break at work). Again, I put this activity into my schedule so that I don't waste any of my precious free time planning around this.

I know a few people who don't really have any sort of routine. What's the most common complaint? "I don't have any time for _______(insert fun or healthy activity here)!"

I generally won't say anything, but inside I'm thinking, "Well that's a big fat piece of juicy BOLOGNEY!"

Most of us have the time to do these things, but it takes an establishment of some sort of routine to manage your precious time as efficiently as possible, and thus have more time and energy to do the things you love!

Establishing a routine is like adding hours to the day!

I know what you're thinking. "Arun, you're pretty smart." (I know, continue your complementary thinking) "But how do you expect anyone to follow a routine every day! I like change! In fact, how do YOU even follow a routine everyday! Doesn't it get boring?"

First of all, my evenings tend to vary and be totally UN-routine (yes I invented another new word). Because I was so efficient in getting everything I prioritize finished, I have all types of free time in the evenings to do whatever I want!

And, when the weekend comes, I don't know the meaning of routine! I never plan workouts on the weekends because I have no idea what I'm going to be doing, and I hate having to plan around things (especially something like working out which isn't exactly the most fun thing to do) later in the day. Seriously, there is no structure whatsoever to my day on Saturday and Sunday.

So if you're one of the many people who feel like there's not enough time for anything, realistically look at your routine (or lack thereof), analyze, and fix it so that you can maximize your fun-time and live life awesomely!

The Adam Carolla Show

Every morning between the hours of 6am (The precise time on which my alarm goes off) and 10am (by which point I am solidly into my second cup of coffee and my first snack at work)I listen to a radio show broadcast here on the west coast called, "The Adam Carolla Show."

As you may have guessed, the star of the show is Adam Carolla. To refresh your memory, Adam has starred on such hits as MTV's "Loveline," and "Crankyankers," as well as "The Man Show." His cohosts are Danny Bonaduce (Partridge Family and Breaking Bonaduce) and Teresa Strasser (HGTV's "While you were out," award winning journalist, and hottie in general.)

Recently, I got the chance to watch the crew in action during a live broadcast.

I first started listening to this show when I moved to San Diego. It's intention was actually to be a replacement for the "Howard Stern Show" (which and whom I can't stand). At first, when I woke up in the morning hearing this Adam Carolla guy complain about everything under the sun from Left-turn arrows at traffic lights, to "Blowhards" like Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump, I was thoroughly annoyed.

Where's my morning music? How about some tunes to start the day? For some reason though, I couldn't bring myself to change the station. Slowly this man of infinite complaints and rants was growing on me!

In fact, his excessive ranting may have even influenced some of my own previous rants that I've posted!

Now that I've listened to the show for quite a few months, I definitely wanted to take the opportunity to check it out since they were here at the popular beach bar "The Wave House" last night for today's show.

I don't need to bore you with the details a radio show that you may or may not have heard, but know this. I am going to somehow, get on that radio show! Last night, I was watching these guys go about entertaining not only a live audience, but everybody else out there in radio land, and I decided I would be a great addition to their team!

I know what you're thinking. "Arun, when are you going to stop these hair-brained schemes and adventures of yours and just give it a rest!"

Never. I like to make life as interesting as possible, and if getting on the Adam Carolla Show is part of the plan, then so be it!

My plan? Well, I don't really have a plan yet per say, but they do have quite a cast of unusual guests that appear on the show, and I'm thinking that "Bapo Gupta: Beffudled Indian" would be both popular and hilarious. Stay tuned on this developing adventure!

A-plus - The Rapping Sensation

Over the years, I've been given many a nickname, each one with an interesting story behind it. Today, I'm going to share with you the nickname that stuck the longest, and which some people still refer to me as today: A-plus.

The genesis of this alias was at the beginning of my junior year in highschool. I had this friend, Germaine, who happened to be a brotha (aka a black dude) that I used to call "G." Well, he being the clever brotha that he is, and as many brothas do, having a talent for creating cool word plays, began calling me in response, not 'A' (which sounds stupid anyways), but "A-plus."

Now this was an incredible nick name for a few reasons.

1. It gave me high school "street cred" to have brotha's hollerin at "A-plus" in the halls.

2. It was a differnt play on the typical first letter or double letter nickname (ie. "RJ," "CT," "JR," "AJ" etc.).

3. It was incredibly appropriate since, in high school, I was a stellar student.

I started rolling with it. How could I be uncool with a name coined by a brotha? Around the same time I also started getting in to writing rap, so this became my sort of "rap name." Yes, you probably didn't know this, but I have been known to bust a rhyme or two in my day. I still have some of the first raps I ever wrote, in a box somewhere.

Coincidentally, my high school popularity started rising exponentially at this time. I mean, how often do you see a chubby honor-roll kid writing rap with brotha's, singing in the hallway at lunch with "little samoa" (even though every one of those guys was huge), and giving speeches for the newly inducted honor roll students.

The name "A-plus" however really took off after my English teacher heard through the grapevine that I was into doing rap. She then decided to assign the coolest assignment ever! We had to get into groups and perform raps for the class.

My group consisted of me, already named A-plus, my friend Colt, whom we nick named "C-average", and Jacob Farkas, also known as just Farkas, thus nicknamed "F-minus." Together we were the Grade School Rappers (I know, not the coolest name ever, but I thought it was funny!).

After this, people in my classes knew me as Arun AND A-plus. My senior year though, the name exploded!

Segway a moment. I'm reading through this and I realize that this nickname actually doesn't seem that cool, but it's hard to accurately reflect its coolness in writing. You're just going to have to trust me that it was amazing! (I promise)

Anyways, when it was decided I was participating in the eagerly anticipated Lip Sync Contest there were flyers posted all over the school that read, "Come see Arun aka 'A-plus' perform as the King of Pop: Michael Jackson! Well, that performance ended up being pretty popular and with it, A-plus and Arun became synonymous.

That wasn't the end though. Soon thereafter, I found out I received a tennis scholarship. They did an article in paper about me titled "Rapped up in Tennis." The writer wanted to highlight things I did in addition to tennis. My tennis mentor at the time had told him previously that I had been known to rap here and there under the name "A-plus."

Well during the interview, he made me perform a couple of raps. Sure enough, when the article appeared on the sports page, he spent two paragraphs talking about "A-plus" and including lyrics from the rap that I performed for him.

When I went to college, the name was left behind. Truthfully, my two year stint as "A-plus" was plenty, and it was time to move on. To this day though, a lot of my high school friends still call me "A-plus" for fun.

I know you now have doubts, but I assure you: I really was cool!